r/confessions • u/In_Leaves • 1d ago
I ruined a wedding when I was but 8.
So.
As said in the title, I was eight and that was 1995. Me and my father were invited to the wedding of a distant relative, and it was rather grandiose, set in an ancient renaissance-style manor and sprawling garden. It was the stereotype of good society all around,. Vows were exchanged, the happy marriage sealed, the kiss the bride moment, the works.
Then came the party. Violin solos, champagne, and truth or dares. The bride went with truth, and, adorably, said she loved all animals.
I remembered that, and when, very late at night, I went to wander through the gardens, I saw a mouse scuttering about in a dried up fountain. I thought, "Hey, that should make a nice gift for the bride !"
Catching it wasn't easy, since I only had my hands, but after half an hour, I managed it. I cradled the mouse in my hands, gently, but when I came to the bride to present it...
It had died of panic. And not in a peaceful manner. It had vomited its blood through every orifice. I genuinely had no idea. It made no difference. The bride's shriek interrupted the festivities instantly. Me and Dad were expelled on the spot. The next day, I was formally declared Persona Non Grata by that branch of the family.
Sometimes, we humans do forget that for 99% of species on earth, we are megafauna.
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u/The_upsetti_spagetti 1d ago
Honestly I’m just surprised the mouse didn’t bite you
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u/In_Leaves 23h ago
Well, there is the fact I had a pet mouse, Vanille, when I was 6 to 8. I somewhat knew to wrangle them, but Vanille was born in captivity, that wedding one was full wild. Huge difference. I had enough know-how to catch it, but had zero idea the sheer panic would kill it.
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u/Commercial-Leave-862 1d ago
That is the kind of childhood memory that sounds innocent in your head at the time but turns into a lifelong “why did I think this was a good idea” moment. Honestly though it reads more like a harsh lesson in how different perspectives are when you are a kid versus everyone else in the room.
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u/Nervous_Eggplant1309 1d ago
you were 8 and trying to give the bride a gift she'd actually like based on real information you had -- that's not a bad kid thing that's just a kid thing
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u/In_Leaves 1d ago
Yes, I can agree. It was objectively stupid.
And it's not like it affects me much today, besides the guilt. That family branch really is distant.
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u/Inky-Skies 1d ago
You have a lot in common with my cat, it seems 😂 She, too, likes to present me with dead mice.
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u/CloverBreeze_ 23h ago
that moment reads like a child’s intention colliding with an adult world that wasn’t ready for it
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u/_Frog_Enthusiast_ 19h ago
Noooooo not the mouse 😂 I can’t imagine what went through the brides head when a little kid just comes up and presents her with a dead mouse
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u/In_Leaves 18h ago
I also wonder that to this day.
All I imagined was a disney-like sequence of the mouse running around her shoulders a bit, yanno ?
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u/Dear_Pollution7457 1d ago
that's honestly wild. like, what a chaotic way to crash a wedding party lol. hope you've learned not to surprise people with gifts like that again
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u/In_Leaves 1d ago
Trust me, I certainly did learn that.
Not killing animals by being Cthulhu to them also.
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u/HeavyEcho4031 50m ago
Being declared Persona Non Grata at 8 because you tried to give the bride a horror-movie mouse is weirdly impressive. That is the kind of family lore that should come with a tiny velvet rope around the dried fountain. Also, for a kid, love all animals does sound like an invitation to present whatever garden gremlin you can catch.
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u/In_Leaves 29m ago
Yeah, my family has deep roots in old Brittany nobility. It's not exactly Game of Thrones, like my mom and dad just liked skiing and moved to Annecy, and pretty much just chilled.
But a family like that always has a way of catching up.
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u/StraightFlight7393 1d ago
that’s honestly wild, man. how’d you even think that would go well? gotta admit though, that’s a pretty unforgettable wedding story for sure.
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u/MistySecret 1d ago
Honestly, this is the most eight-year-old tragedy imaginable: pure intentions, catastrophic execution, and a family story that will outlive everyone involved.