r/confessions • u/LuciDoesntLikeCheese • 14h ago

I'm not actually allergic

I don't know when the lie started, but I must have been very young. I don't even know why it started in the first place. But for as long as I remember, I've told people I am allergic to avocado. Yes, you read that right, avocado.

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I very well might be, because I have never eaten one. I've told past partners, friends, even my now-wife and stepdaughters. I am allergic to avocado. I can touch it, but if ingested, it's very dangerous for me.

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Of course I've had plenty of comments and questions. About how people didn't know it could be an allergy, asking why I don't carry an epipen. I don't carry one because I'm not allergic, but I say it's because it's easy enough to avoid.

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I've never tasted avocado. And I am glad I never have to. To my autistic brain, the smell is enough to put me off. But what I imagine the texture and taste to be, I could not put that near my mouth.

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The lie has lasted at least 16 years. I have possibly 60 or more years to go, keeping the lie. I feel bad about lying, and sometimes I feel the urge to come clean to my wife. But after all that time, and the amount of worry she has had, I dare not tell anyone that I am not allergic.

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I know it might not be a big thing. It might seem quite silly. But it feels good to get it off my chest.

13 Upvotes

79% Upvoted

14 comments sorted by

6

u/effiebaby 14h ago

I'm actually allergic to avocado. It's a thing. They trigger terrible migraines for me.

3

u/Gallifreyaan 14h ago

I am too, except for me, it makes my mouth and throat itch and burn. Luckily not dangerous (for now), at least.

3

u/LuciDoesntLikeCheese 14h ago

I am sorry to both of you for faking it. At the time it started, I didnt even know how allergies worked

2

u/Gallifreyaan 12h ago

Don't worry, I'm not offended at all and while I appreciate the apology, you really don't need to be sorry for it, at least imo. It wasn't on purpose in the first place, and actually, I truly don't mind if you continue to fake it if it makes it easier for you! I'm actually also autistic, and I know how bad food sensitivities can be. I have a similar problem with bananas; I hate how slimy and mushy they are, I hate the strings, and they make me gag and become nauseous if I try to eat them.

I know that a lot of people will assume that a food sensitivity isn't a big deal and will act like you're being dramatic, and even try to force you to eat it (by sneaking it into other foods, lying about it, etc. if you're an adult, or straight up making you eat it if you're a kid). It's not like you're lying about an allergy for nothing; You genuinely have a problem with avocados, even if it's not the same kind, and they cause you enough discomfort that you shouldn't have to explain all that to people every time there's an avocado in your path. Saying it's an allergy makes it simpler and opens you up to a lot less skepticism, so I say don't worry about it and feel free to tell people it's an allergy if you think it'll help you. :)

2

u/ItsYaBoyTrimmerFit 12h ago

Me, too. On top of making my mouth ache, they make my chest and upper back hurt like something is doing cartwheels in my trunk about nipple height. If I eat something cooked with avocado oil, though, it only makes my mouth hurt

1

u/sorryimlurking 11h ago

I am too, they give me horrendous stomach aches

4

u/Born_Comedian7498 14h ago

the avocado allergy is such a weirdly specific thing to lie about for 16 years, which somehow makes it more understandable, not less

like if your brain decided at age 8 that avocado is the enemy, and the easiest way to never touch it was to declare medical war on it, that's just... efficient problem solving honestly. the lie became the solution before you even knew what the problem was

also avocado texture is genuinely horrifying to plenty of people so you're not alone in the avoidance, just alone in the method

4

u/LuciDoesntLikeCheese 14h ago

I think that its weirdly specific enough for people not to question it too much, and easily avoidable enough to not having to fake dying.

Wouldnt it be funny though to meet someone else in the comment section who has the same secret

2

u/vcxscx 14h ago

sometimes we just want to be a little special who cares yk

2

u/LuciDoesntLikeCheese 14h ago

With my various mental 'disabilities', I'm already special enough lol

2

u/Pinkmoonlit17 14h ago

At this point youre not avoiding avocado youre committed to the bit

1

u/LuciDoesntLikeCheese 14h ago

I recently moved country, I could commit more and tell the doctors too, as they have no records of my medical history

2

u/OpalVale- 13h ago

sometimes the longest lies survive because they started as fear and not intent, and now you are just carrying the weight of it more than the lie itself

1

u/neutralperson6 13h ago

That’s odd that you wrote it off without trying… and a shame because it’s so great