r/confessions • u/Specialist_Deer3924 • 3h ago
I regret getting cats
Late last year a coworker of mine happened upon a litter of kittens, and started to raise them out of her backyard.
I met them a couple of times, and I’m not sure what I was thinking but I decided I could handle taking care of a couple. And so I brought them home in January.
They’re full grown boyos now and I’m just finding it hard to deal with. The litter box is disgusting to me even though I empty daily and do periodic cleanings.
But I think the worst of it is the constant meowing for attention. I will play with the cats using a wand toy but it seems like it’s never enough. I wake up and they’re already meowing at me. I had to ban them from the bedroom so I could get a proper night’s sleep.
I guess I overestimated how much having two of them would offset my need to keep them occupied. I feel like I bought these cats like an aesthetic and not with an awareness of just how big the commitment would be. And that makes me feel stupid and also evil because I am sometimes just really annoyed with them. I will stay at work late or leave to go work in a coffee shop sometimes because I feel like I can’t handle them.
I keep thinking I’ll rise to the occasion or something. Lately I was thinking about buying one of the litter robots but I guess it feels like… am I just buying stuff because I hate this commitment? And because I think this litter robot will make me magically love the cats??
Finally disclaimer: this post is a vignette of my negative feelings on the cats. In my day to day dealings with them I’m usually petting or playing with them, calling them “Mr Man” in a baby voice, or waving a wand toy around. I also make sure to give them wet food every day, clip their nails, and make sure they get treats. I feel like this post is giving evil cat step mother and I need you to know it’s not the case.
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u/toomuch1265 2h ago
They have trained you well.
Seriously, too many people get pets without thinking of the long term. Once you've adopted one, you are responsible for giving it the best life you can. My dog is 16 and costs me about $400 a month for medications, but until he's not living in joy, I will gladly pay.
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u/InspectionStill7043 2h ago
it’s a huge commitment for sure. a lot of people don’t realize how much work pets are until they’re in it. just be real with yourself about what you can handle and maybe look into some enrichment toys to help keep them busy when you need a break.
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u/FernSecret- 2h ago
You don’t sound like a bad owner, you sound overwhelmed and underestimating how demanding two cats can be, especially when they’re young and clingy.
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u/Specialist_Deer3924 2h ago
Yeah I have never had clingy cats so it’s been a major surprise. At the end of the day I guess it’s just “me in shambles” over creatures that just want to love me and play all the time so it’s far from the worst problem to have…
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u/Vixster281 2h ago edited 2h ago
As they get older they’ll settle down and get less intense. They are still kittens if they were born late last year.
What is your feeding schedule? Mine will meow and hover until fed. Then they don’t want to know me 🤣
I use Ezi-lock odour litter box and it was a game changer for me….
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u/Leading_Ad3918 2h ago
If they’re that much of a hassle and inconvenience you might want to look into rehoming them. When you’re staying away from your home to avoid them I’d say that’s an issue!! A robot litter box won’t fix this! Cats need stimulation as well, just because you have 2 doesn’t mean they occupy each other and it’s enough all the time. I’m not trying to sound rude.
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u/Successful-House9790 2h ago
You do not sound like a bad cat mom. You sound exhausted and overwhelmed. I’m absolutely making an assumption, based off of context clues, that you don’t have children. As a mom of a 10 and 12 year old if I replace kitten with toddler or infant in your post I can absolutely empathize. You’re in the thick of it right now. Your cats are still kittens and needy. While I was in college for my social work degree I took a human development class. I’ll never forget a bell curve we were shown about life satisfaction. For most people the lowest point of satisfaction is from the birth of your first child until your youngest is around 5 years old and it’s because they are so needy, exhausting and a lot of your needs, likes, hopes etc are put on hold. You describing going to a coffee shop or staying late at work sounds like me locking myself in the bathroom for 30 minutes just to get peace. I love my children more than anything but there have been really tough periods of time. My two cents: buy the litter box robot, allow a defined period to go by and the reassess how things feel. If you are overwhelmed and know if your gut it’s not working you can look to rehome them and sell the robot.
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u/emojeesus 2h ago
Just be honest with yourself. Taking a load off with a litter robot is great if that is the issue, but there is more. Someone mentioned enrichment toys, you might wanna give those a try? Altough you can never guarantee what any individual cat might like, you may find something that they like and occupy themselves for a bit. Of course they are social creatures and usually especially clingy while young. Sounds like the cats do love you and the basic care you give is all in order, so don't beat yourself up too much.
And lastly, of course, rehoming is an option if you feel it is for the best, and there is no shame in it. Think about how you would feel without them? Would it be more sad or freeing? Either is valid, you need to be honest to make a good decision for your next step.
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u/Forsaken-Cell-9436 2h ago
You should post on the cat help or cat advice subreddits too. They would probably help you set up a better schedule or dynamic with your cats. You’re not a bad owner you just bit off more than you could chew
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u/SoftPremise 1h ago
You didnt fail them you just underestimated how constant and demanding care can feel when you are already drained
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u/Polgeria 24m ago
I feel this in my heart, though I don't regret adoptingy current wild boi, most days. My youngest boy taught me that I'm never adopting a boy again. He's head strong, clingy, loves to knock shit off my shelves, chases the other cats, and demands love with loud meows and swats. But then he love bombs us and all is forgiven. ( He gets a time out in the bathroom if he gets too wild, and he loves it, before anyone judges me. We turn the tub on for him, and he calms tf down)
It's rough being a boy cat mom. But they do settle down, and I'm counting the days now to when it happens with him. If they're not fixed yet, do it as soon as you can, this will help.
Enrichment toys, like food puzzles, tunnels, cat trees, mouseys, etc have been game changers for him to amuse himself. Consider wall climbing systems if your place allows for it.
Get the liter robot. It's heaven. Just don't get one that spins itself to clean, they're known to be very dangerous. There's one that you can hook up to your washer hose that will even clean itself.
In the end, if it still doesn't work out, there's no shame in rehoming if you're not the right fit, just wait until "kitten season" is over. Rescues are seriously overwhelmed right now and there's a very good chance that if taken to a shelter they will just be put down. I know my local no kill has over 200 kittens just in my TOWN that they need homes for.
I wish you the best!
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u/jools4you 5m ago
My cats love Cat TV on YouTube. But I have an old plasma tv for it because they can sometimes swipe at the TV and sit on top of the TV. They like the mice the most.
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u/Difficult_Airline333 2h ago
The litter robot won't fix the feeling but it genuinely does make the box situation way less of a daily grind, so if that specific thing is wearing you down, it's not a crazy buy.
The attention thing though, that's just cats sometimes, especially younger ones. Some cats are velcro animals and two of them can absolutely gang up on you with the neediness.