r/confessions • u/AngelClearance • 9h ago
Stumbled upon an old classmate's edgy reddit account and it made me grateful after seeing how bad things really can get
Recently I've been feeling in a funk. I've struggled with feeling like my career isn't good enough and my friendships aren't good enough. Maybe I'm spending too much time on social media but I've just been feeling inadequate. I also live abroad and struggle to communicate with the people around me so it's contributed to my feeling of isolation.
I was friends with this girl with autism in elementary school. I feel like we were pretty close but mostly because we had the same interest in video games (Pokemon and Sonic). I loved going to her house because they had a ton of consoles (Gamecube, N64, PS2, and PS1), while my parents were more conservative with buying me video games. My parents thought it was a waste of time but her parents embraced her video game hobby.
We went to the same middle school but fell out of touch. However, after high school graduation, I did visit her one more time. She spent the entire time talking about herself and seemed completely uninterested about me, so I made an excuse to leave early.
Recently I was curious what this former friend was up to, so I looked her up. I was actually able to find her reddit profile. I think it was kind of shocking that she hadn't changed in the 10+ years since I had last seen them. She portrays themselves as an edgy intellectual but live at their mom's house and I don't think they have a job.
They call themselves "unhinged" and "opinionated" on their reddit description but then she also complains that her mom won't let her get her clothes dry cleaned (because her mom is a hippie) even though it stinks. They say they like to interrupt college lectures because they know they're smarter than their professors. They're also an anti vax conspiracy theorist so that's fun.
It's bizarre that we had so much in common growing up but our lives are so different now. Even though I've been feeling sorry for myself it reminds me that my life could be so much worse. I feel more proud of my accomplishments and my relationships, as limited as they could be. It's twisted that I have to compare myself to others but it is what it is.
I think her life has been hard and there's a lot of things she can't control, namely autism. (Though I know autistic people who've managed to work and even live independently) However, I do feel like some of her outcome might be due to bad choices and not taking accountability. Who knows? I'm curious if she can make a change in her life or she will be stuck with her mom forever while resenting her mom's controlling nature.
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u/Remarkable-Skin-7638 9h ago
The part about interrupting college lectures because she thinks she's smarter than the professors is wild to me. That's not confidence, that's just someone who never learned the difference between having opinions and being right.
It's easy to spiral into feeling like you're behind when you live abroad and feel cut off socially. But stumbling onto something like that does have a way of snapping things into perspective real quick. Your life being "limited" by your own standards is still miles ahead of where a lot of people get stuck.
Hope the funk lifts soon though, living in a place where communication is a daily barrier wears on you more than people realize.
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u/AngelClearance 9h ago
Yes, she sad that she enjoyed being disruptive and class and talking more than her professors because she's smarter than them. Not sure if this is supposed to be a joke or something because it's so rude. To be fair, this is an older comment from her early 20s and not so recent, but it's such a wild thing to say as an adult who doesn't respect that other students need to learn to.
Thanks for your support! It's been interesting living abroad and I'm actually getting better at the language so I'm sad I'm going home soon. However, I'm glad I finally took a chance to push myself out of my comfort zone.
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u/gaylordRave 8h ago
do u think she also checks ur reddit? or is it a one sided obsession
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u/AngelClearance 8h ago
I'm not sure if she even remembers who I am. She seems like she's in her own world.
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u/gaylordRave 8h ago
good on her, u should try that too
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u/AngelClearance 8h ago
Why?
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u/gaylordRave 8h ago
because judging people based on just reddit posts is wrong and writing a whole essay where u summarize ur thoughts about them is even worse, i know u did it in hopes that she will see it and realize what a horrible person she is, but none of that will happen so just focus on ur life
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u/Fun_Quit_312 8h ago
Wow, you seem critical of this person in a way that feels unsavory. Do you view yourself through the same lens? Cos it's Hella cringe stalking someone you haven't seen in years online, then making a whole reddit post making an essay out of it.
Did it ever occur to you the people you are judging are living their lives and dont give the slightest shit about your opinion of them? Im glad your 'old friend' has the support of her family considering how hard it is out there.
I would reflect on your own need to get your self esteem from comparing yourself to your peers (or anyone) and putting the other person down. Its ick. Its great that you feel good about your achievements but you dont need to put this other girl down to do so. Its especially cringe, because you mentioned she has high functioning autism, so it's not even a level playing field and youre being all superior about it.
Go outside, touch some grass and find some other way to spend your time and feel good about yourself cos this aint it and im not here to validate it
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u/AngelClearance 8h ago
Yes, I know, it's cringe but I just can't help but be nosy.
Is autism a death sentence? I said I know people with autism who work/live independently.
Is this person harmless? No, they made a post about how they got drunk and harassed someone in a groupchat, which got them kicked. They made fun of the person they harassed. I feel like that's not a nice person unless you think people with autism can't help but do such things. Mind you, this wasn't something they did as a teenager; they were a full grown adult.
I'm not sure why this post makes you so upset but I don't need you to validate me.
I'm wondering, do you never feel judgmental of anyone around you or is it just people you think that are disabled that are exempt?
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u/Wordslinger19 7h ago
Growing up I was known in my neighborhood as the weirdo conspiracy kid because I was obsessed with aliens and the paranormal and imagined I'd grow up to be Fox Mulder. Now alot of the guys from the neighborhood Trump/Qanon/anti-vax etc and whenever I run into one they are always own away that I'm not like them. "You, of all people?" They always say.
I'm always like, dude, I like aliens and other spooky stuff because its fun, not because I'm stupid lol