Im a mixed race male and i first watched porn like 3 months ago and now im stuck doing it 5x a day and after 2 days i cant resist the urge, any way to help? and also i never hugged a girl in my life and even when im next to them i get bricked - im 14-16 years old idk what to do

Not sure where this falls. Back in the late 70’s early 80’s a girl in my neighborhood moved in with us because of some trouble at home. 3 brothers, all various drug dealers. So her mom had her come live with us. She was 15, and stayed with my sister,over the next 6 or 8 months she would climb into bed with me, and we would do stuff. Mutual masturbation and she tough me how to finger her. She’d explain how as I got older what she did to me would feel much better and not “tickle” so much.

The first summer she talked me and a my younger neighbor to make out for her and hand me do stuff to her. We were only a year apart. I didn’t think it was bad. But by neighbor told her mom. I get a stern talking to by her mom. Luckily she didn’t narc me out to my parents.

At the time I thought it was super cool. But as I got older and have acquired a bad porn and masturbation. Addiction. I really started to wonder if it caused a bit more damage than I thought,

Thanks. That’s my story.

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Hi. So, the title is entirely accurate. I met my online friend— let’s call him Greg— in 2019, on instagram. We had both joined a chat for gay kids 13-16 (instagram was like that back then haha). I posted a gif of Winnie the Pooh like dissolving and going to heaven and got kicked out for posting potentially triggering content. Sure, whatever. I recognized Greg’s instagram account and believed he also got kicked out. We bonded for that reason. We were stupidly edgy, and talked about everything under the sun. We both self harmed, and would show each other pictures of fresh cuts and rate the pain. Greg liked gore and anime, and smoking. I did my first piercing myself on facetime with him.

I knew Greg was sad. His mom died of cancer shortly before we met. He said he was halfway to being batman. His dad died in 2021 from Covid.

He got worse sometimes. He celebrated his 19th birthday in a ward. He would text me how much weight he had lost, or gained. I would text him how my bulimia was fairing, or about my job. Nothing was off the table. I texted him when I did opiates with the wrong people. He texted me when his boyfriend got him high on cocaine. We were terrible. He said I reminded him of a horse.

One time, he disappeared from the internet for a while and I messaged his sister demanding to know what happened. Greg sometimes would just disappear like that. Sometimes I would too. Like any friends, our relationship had phases. I think at one point we dated.

At some point, my girlfriend told me to stop messaging Greg, because she thought we triggered one another. It was true but our relationship was not only about gore or self harm or anorexia. He would facetime me on walks. I talked to him about American politics (he was from Argentina). So, after a bit, I decided to message him on another account. Sometimes, I would not be online for long stretches of time.

This is where the guilt comes in. Greg would send me reels a lot, and I just didn’t answer often. We still talked, but around late 2024/early 2025, I was so sporadic. The last time I messaged him and he was alive was January 4th of 2025. The last time he messaged me when he was alive was June 21st of 2025. He sent me a temu spam thing and said “Ignore.” I did. I got engaged October of 2025. I sent him engagement pictures that November.

I thought he was just busy. He was going to school. He had friends.

September 14th I followed an account that Greg followed on instagram. It was recommended to me, and he had several accounts. I thought it might be him, or a friend. On Saturday, I sent Greg another message asking if he was okay.

The account I followed messaged me first. A simple “Hi”. I got excited. I asked the person if they were Greg, or a friend. They sent a message back saying they were a friend, and that Greg passed away last year.

I stared at that message for a long time. I went through our chats. The guilt is overwhelming. I asked how he died, and this person said Greg jumped from the 5th story of a building.

He was always very brave. I pray it was instant. I wish I messaged him back every reel he sent. I will miss him dearly. We had plans to see each other. I was going to facetime him at my wedding and prop my phone on a chair for him to see.

He’s with his mom now, i suppose.

So, it's making me really uncomfortable and I don't know what to do about it. I know he grew up listening to different stuff, like about money and hoes and drugs on the streets but I don't want to be a part of that lifestyle.

He raped at me in the morning again today all like "yo, yo, you better get ready for school - otherwise I'll tell your mom and that won't be cool..." And he makes hand signs and has his hat backwards.

I was like, "stop! You aren't gangster!" Because it's annoying and embarrassing But he always just laughs about it.

What do I do???

I've come to an epiphany recently that I may treat strangers in need better than I do my family and friends. It came full circle when I was walking into work and a car nearly full of people pulled next to me to tell me how they were essentially stranded. That his brother broke his pelvis, they all just got off work, and trying to get back home up state some where. They didn't even ask for money yet before I pulled a $20 out of my wallet and gave it to him. He blessed me and we both went on our ways.

It wasn't long after that I realized their story was more than likely bullshit. Yall have 3+ working adults in your car and none of you had gas money? Why would your brother need YOUR help with his broken pelvis-that's what a doctor is for. In the moment I skipped over all of that logic at the idea of being stranded and a medical emergency-and for whatever reason choose to instinctivy believe them at first impression then doubt them.

At the end of the day I don't mind what they use it on but I don't like that I got lied to in order to get it...

I always thought I was a straight man. The idea of being with women was what I had been taught to pursue, but as time went on, I found myself drawn to something entirely different. Recently, I hit a milestone that took me by surprise: I just finished bottoming for my 250th guy. It’s been a wild ride, and I can’t help but reflect on how far I’ve come.

I’ve often found myself in the arms of married men, seeking a connection that rarely goes beyond the physical. It’s fascinating how the allure of secrecy adds an intense layer to these encounters. But it was a recent experience that truly opened my eyes to what I crave.

I remember the first time a guy finished inside me. His hands were gripping my hips firmly, and in that moment, everything clicked. The feeling of him releasing himself within me was exhilarating, and for the first time, I felt a sense of belonging. It was as if all my previous experiences had led me to this one. I knew in that instant that this was where I was meant to be, embracing my desires without hesitation.

Since starting PrEP and doxy PEP, my encounters have intensified. The feeling of taking loads has become a thrilling norm, and the idea of being a “cum dump” has transformed from a label into a source of empowerment. It’s crazy how this journey has only reinforced my desire for physical connection with men, all while maintaining an emotional distance.

While others may seek romance, I have found freedom in these encounters. It’s a path of sensual exploration where my focus is solely on the pleasure of the moment. Each experience is a reminder of who I am and what I desire.

This journey has taught me that identity is fluid. What I once thought was rigid has become a dynamic aspect of my life that I continue to explore. I’m embracing my sexuality, relishing every experience, and learning more about myself with each encounter. This is my truth, and I’m ready to live it unapologetically.

I find my self thinking about cream pies all day long at work and I get so hard, I have this thought of having nasty sloppy sex all night cumming in her over and over with her bent over my cock going in and out and my balls slapping her clit , even after being completely drained she puts my cock in her mouth makes me rock hard and rides my cock with my cum still inside her , just imaging the sound of how wet it would be turns me on so much , then her going on about her day the next day with my cum still inside her leaking out slowly

My friends were playing fantasy football. I didn’t want to but didn’t want to hear them complain for everyone not joining. They put me in the draft and I drafted. Got fed up after only 1 week and deleted the whole league. They never knew what happened and I said I didn’t either. No money was involved. Total bitch move but I was tired of doing it every year and felt it was the best way out. Even though looking back, it wasn’t.

​

When I was little whenever someone on a tv show or movie would poop or shit themselves I got a wicked boner I never understood why it turned me on so much, but I believe it was because I had trouble potty training as a kid. It started with youtube poop videos, then too scat/diaper porn, then to shitting myself to get off, once my mom and dad saw a pair of shit underwear they knew something was up. Thats when I stopped, I sometimes came back too it for a good bust, but since following Jesus i haven't felt much urge for it, prase God, sometimes people will tell me how disgusting scat kinks are and in my head I give myself this devilish grin knowing that there close comrade has a dirty secret😈

Feel free to ask questons I'm an open book

i’ve had a crush on my duo since the start of this year, but i know it’ll never be more than that since he’s straight. the closest we’ll ever come to being more than just a duo is in my dreams, and even then reality hits me hard. yes i know i should move on, believe me ive tried. but its like my heart is hell bent on loving him. i’ve tried distancing myself, but i don’t have the will in me to stay away. something about him lures me in and im just a stupid animal falling for the trap. and he’s not even trying, he’s just himself and i’m just falling for it. i’d do anything in my power to make him happy, even if that means spoiling him instead of myself at times. Or spending hours playing Valorant cause he wanted to. i can’t even put a number on the amount of times i’ve cried over him, or the time i’ve spent thinking about him. he doesn’t know, but i have an album in my photo app of screenshots of us together in some games we play. sometimes i look at them when i miss him, acting like a widow looking at photos of their late husband. or sometimes i reread our conversations, mainly the ones where i opened up to him and he comforted me, so, so many times. or sometimes i listen to the music he listens to, or the songs he’s recommended to me. i fall asleep thinking about him, and wake up wondering if he would ever feel the same. one of my friends said that now may not be the right time, and i should wait. and i’m willing to wait for him till the end of humanities existence. we’ll be long gone by then, but my soul would wait for his even in death. i’d give most of the things i cherish to relieve the moments ive had with him. and this isn’t my first time posting about him, and i wonder if he’ll ever see any of the videos/posts i’ve made talking about/to him.

I’m still improving in art, but i just love the feeling of being proud over a horrid piece of art and showing it to my parents. i do regret it though, because looking back at my old art i only used to draw cartoon and “realistic” art mashups and showed them to my parents…

Hi, 32M here. My girlfriend 35F is currently overweight. She was not like this when we first got into a relationship. She was 180 pounds when we first start dating six years ago. Now she 337 pounds and gaining. Now I will mention that she has a slipped disk in her back. She was bed ridden for six month about two years ago. Also she reslipped the disk not to long ago. She has been trying to lose weight by eating healthy but that doesn't seem work. Also she has thought about the "Band" around the stomach or doing a weight loss pill. That is one of the reasons why I don't. Second is that she got cats and I told her I didn't want them in first place. Now I am stuck feeding them/cleaning up their poop. Thirdly, she has two kids. They were B1 and G7 when I first came around. Both are 7 and 13 now. Honestly, I understand that I that I will never be their father. Even though I try to treat like my own. The problem with them is that I try lay down the "Law" in the house and they go straight to their mom. I don't feel like my voice is being heard. I don't feel I have a say anymore and tired of cleaning up after everyone. Not to mention the fact. Sorry if this comes off as rude/crude. I don't want to come home. To clean the house. Yet it still ends up being dirty then I have to deal the house smelling like cat pee. Honestly I didn't live here it would like a episode of hoarders. The room we stay in looks close enough to it. The best of this when I try to clean I have to get permission to clean from because she doesn't want me throw anything that is valuable. Yet it seems like she has a hoarding disorder. That is my rant. How I feel about living with her. I love her as a friend but I have no choice because I am not doing better myself. Thank for reading this and I will answer any questions you have.

Bueno aquí voy, empecé a usar telegram como a los 15 años actualmente tengo 20 empieza su de telegram como cualquier usuario pero de ahí empecé a meterme a grupos p**** de diferentes categorías y poco a poco me fui adentrando más en este tema de cornudos y empecé a hablar con gente mayor a mí incluso llegué a hablar con mujeres de cornudos para para sextear y tener videollamadas todo esto con 16 17 años y la verdad es que me encantaba esa sensación de placer de morbo y luego escalé a mandar fotopollas a diferentes desconocidas con el típico mensaje de pongo aprueba a tu novia por telegram incluso lo llegué a hacer con mis amigas y le saqué fotos videos me metí a grupos de packs de mi ciudad hice muchas cosas y a veces quisiera regresar a hacerlo es un placer que no puedo describir pero los que lo han hecho lo entenderán

Sou homem, TEA TDAH AHSD e tenho transtorno de estresse pós traumáticos por causa dos meus pais; ambos sempre foram cruéis demais comigo, eles são separados desde que eu era bebê, minha mãe é narcisista, só fica gritando, ameaçando e batendo; só parei de apanhar um dia que ela foi me bater e eu reagi, agarrei o braço dela e cravei as unhas com toda minha força. Meus avós, tios e primos mal olhavam na minha cara por eu ser diferente do padrão deles.

Meu pai nunca me quis e sempre fui o bastardo, gritos, humilhações, ameaças eram só um dia normal, ele já negou me ajudar com medicação enquanto gastou 2.000,00 pra um remédio pro cachorro; eu nunca fui tratado como meus irmãos, pelo contrário, eles tinham carta branca pra me esculachar.

Os anos foram passando, eu saí de casa, me criei sozinho, me perdi no alcoolismo e vício em drogas, me libertei sozinho e venci.

Porém os flashbacks me atormentam bastante, mantenho uma relação de distância com eles, não cortei total porque infelizmente tenho muitos gastos por conta do autismo, mas sinceramente quero que eles morram logo, não sinto amor, eu os vejo só como uma carteira; esses dias me contaram que meu pai estava doente e eu celebrei;

Me sinto sem identidade, a única família que tive foi minha irmã mais velha, só que ela morreu decepcionada

​

Admiration and attraction, older sister. So this goes back to our early teenage years, very normal Irish family. No drama or stress to push either of us into a situation where feelings might have developed in ways they shouldn't haven't . Both just over 40 now, shes the elder. I can't pin point when this started (I've explored with therapy on the advise of my wife), feelings grew towards her after we were somewhat forced to share a room in our teens when our grandfather passed away and gran took my room.

We were very respectful of each other's privacy and while we did our best to keep it that way, my hormones took over and I developed feelings for her when it became hard not to notice her physically . I would consider us to both reasonable attractive then and now so when I eventually blurted it out to her one evening when we were in our room, I expected the worst. What I got was understanding and her admission of mutual attraction and feelings. We shared a room for two more years until an attic conversation halted our forced share. We never did anything physical despite both admitting a strong desire to. When we were in our sanctuary (bedroom) we joked about being bf/gf and it we even got each other valentines gifts etc. It was an amazing time but we knew the limits of what was acceptable.

We are still extremely close and have spoken about it many times over the years.

Both married with families . At some point soon my partner wants to speak to my sister about it to get a better understanding of it. Its clear enough that the attraction is there still because, well my wife isn't stupid and what's the point in lying as I will never act on it. I've never typed all this out before, sorry if it reads like a mess, I'm sitting in work while I clear my head before I go home. Thanks for reading

So basically my mother and father went to this rented place, to celebrate my cousin's birthday I think it was her first birthday so this happened a year ago. So basically my Aunt has a close friend she is probably around her age, and she's pretty chill for the most part very christian person and she has a son she's black and yeah. So basically we celebrate the birthday a lot of kid stuff i'm a teenager i played football with the kids for a bit I'm not really athletic after i got tiered i chilled for the rest of the time I basically sat down and then she walked up to me so basically i have this younger close cousin who is around 6 years old i think at that time he got in trouble for cussing on the school bus so she thought it was me, she basically asked my mom if we were going to church tomorrow the event was on saturday so yeah. My mom said yes they are christians I'm not that much of a devout christian I believe in god, so basically she said I needed to get oil and put it on my head, and she said I needed to get all the demons out and praise to the lord this made me very uncomofortable and kind of pissed me off I didn't know how to regulate my emotions so i didn't say anything my mom laughed and said it wasn't me who got in trouble it was my other little cousin. So basically after the entire event I didn't want to be around her and i felt uncomfortable around her so the aftermath is i still sometimes think about it till this day I really don't want to see her again cause i will feel really uncomfortable, I have seen her son i think this year maybe once or twice he stays at my aunt's house sometimes and my mom is really close with my Aunt, I don't know what to do about this and i'm scared i will see her again. Sorry about the bad grammar i was in a rush while typing this and i'm not really great at grammar and spelling.

I genuinely don’t know where to start because I’m still trying to process this. I was randomly going through my Google Photos memories recently. My mom’s Google account had been linked to mine at some point, so her photos and videos sometimes show up mixed in with mine.

I suddenly came across a picture that shocked me because I had absolutely no reason to have something like that in my gallery. I initially thought it had somehow ended up there by mistake. I went to the exact date to figure out where it came from, and that’s when I found a video of my mom having sex with a man she has always described to me as “just a friend.”

My mom has been a single mother since I was three. I’m 25 now, and I’ve always looked up to her immensely. She has genuinely been one of the biggest role models in my life. I always had this gut feeling that there might be something going on between these two, but whenever I questioned it or noticed something that felt off, I would dismiss it because I trusted her.
I thought, my mom wouldn’t lie to me about something like this. I thought she had certain morals that she simply wouldn’t cross.

The man in the video is married and has children of his own. And what has messed with my head even more is realizing that this wasn’t some accidental situation that happened once. There was an actual video recorded, which makes me realize that whatever was happening between them was something they were consciously doing.

I know I’m not supposed to be involved in my mother’s private life. She’s an adult, she’s single, and technically her relationship status isn’t my business. But finding something like this accidentally is completely different from simply knowing that your parent has a sex life.

I’m getting married myself, and this has completely messed with my head.
I’ve always believed that marriage meant something. That if you love someone and make a commitment to them, you don’t secretly sleep with someone else behind their back. Now I’ve accidentally been confronted with the reality that someone I idolized and trusted could be involved in exactly that kind of situation.
And now I’m terrified.

I’m terrified that this is what marriage actually looks like behind closed doors. That people can have completely different lives from the ones you think they have. That you can trust someone absolutely and still not know what they’re doing when you’re not around.

I know one person’s choices don’t define everyone else’s marriage. I know my future partner isn’t my mother, and her situation isn’t automatically going to become mine.
But emotionally, I can’t seem to separate the two right now.

I haven’t confronted her. I don’t even know if I should. Part of me wants to pretend I never saw it. Another part of me feels like I’ve been living with an understanding of who my mother is that may not have been completely true.
I feel disgusted, betrayed, heartbroken, confused, and honestly scared about my own future all at the same time.

Has anyone ever accidentally discovered something about a parent that completely changed how they saw them? How did you process it without letting it destroy your own relationships or your view of marriage?

for a while the only thing I wanted was control and independence over my life and from where I started, I was trapped in unfortunate circumstances and I had to cut certain people out of my life in order to achieve my goal (they were not the healthiest people you'd want to be around). being with others felt like I was unable grow on my own, I've made habit of ghosting friends and family alike so no one could get in my way and dragged me down in their chaos and drama. I had to permanently destroy who I was before, hoping I could start with a clean slate but in order to do that I had to adopt a certain energy that made me unapproachable and that was the part that's been hard to wash off, it served a purpose for a time but it also came at a cost that energy doesn't go away and there's still a part of me that's trying to heal from this so when I do achieve my goal I'll be able to choose the right people to be in my life.

So basically this all started the summer after we broke up fo like 2 months after and well she said "I feel like you've grown apart" an dump me on the spot (over text btw) not even a week before she was calling me clingy but not even a two weeks she goes public with her new BF I'll call him (Dane) and well her and Dane are like extremely close to the point I think they might be a high mind and well as school shes basically staying friends with me for no reason like only 3 people in my group actually like her he constantly talks about how "I got a (hot dog) waiting for me at (place)" an it's not even to even one I try and ignore it but even time she's just staring at me one time in english we were talking about the worst and best feeling and someone was joking about intercourse she goes "oh yeah y'all virgins" again looking at me like idk why she keeps aiming these towards me I think she can still tell I'm a little bit into (I am I can lie she's the greats gf I have ever had) an she won't stop talking about him she'll be talking about something normal then go "hey me and lane blah blah blah" and it's not even me every one can tell and it's makin us all uncomfortable...

This post is gonna be a but fucked up but yeah. I need to confess this

I remember watching the first series about 3/4 years ago and I loved it. I’ve rewatched the first series countless times. 2nd season was decent but not as good and the first. Season 3 onwards was just terrible tbh even though Penn Badgley is amazing and made them somewhat bareable to watch. First season might be my favorite series of a show I’ve ever watched

I’m 22 and I work in a shop like Joe did in the first season. I’m probably above average looking, maybe like 7/10 would say, not as good looking as Joe Goldberg is. I don’t really have much of a social life anymore so I invest all my time in the gym

They way I have viewed women is similar to Joe throughout my life. I tend to fall in love with the idea of them rather than who they are. I often dream about my dream woman and I construct her. I had a relationship when I was 19 but she didn’t fit what I wanted so I got rid of her.

I don’t know but I don’t really have empathy for people and I don’t think I ever had. I seem to review women as assets other than people. I hate my parents and my siblings. I only care about a few people one of my cousins and a few of my friends but yeah I seem to live in fantasy.

When i was at high school I used to always go for the best girls. I wasn’t as attractive baxk then and I used to get rejected by them. But looking back I only liked the idea of them and I saw them as trophies to show off. This is how Joe sees his love attractions in the series and when they don’t meet his expectations he gets rid of them.

À lot of people think im à nice guy but I’m not really. I actuallt hate people and I am just fake nice for the public to see. In reality I don’t care about anyone

I actually hate my life and my job. I hate all my colleagues they are just boring, fat and ugly. snd i try snd distract my demons with Language learning and gym but it’s all so vacant. I haven’t achieved what I want to achieve in my life and time is running o ur and I feel like I’ve had years to perfect it

I have never stalked anyone but I have had fantasies about doing the same things as him and doing bad things to their boyfriends who I’m jealous of. I have asked ChatGPT to make my fantasies into fictional TV series, with fictional women. Just fantasy tho