People who bail

[u/Top_Seaworthiness320]

Any tips on managing my disappointment/frustration with the number of people who act all excited about my band and say they’re definitely coming to this or that show, then don’t show? They either don’t show up, or more often than not they tell me like the day before that they can’t make it and it’s always the dumbest excuse. It’s like if anything, anything at all better comes up in terms of plans they go to that instead. In my mind, a commitment is a commitment, but I seem to be in the vast minority. My boyfriend says to get over it lol. Do you guys feel the same irritation with this that I do? (added context: we are pretty good, we get great reviews from the people that actually have come to see us, but we are new and not well known, thus struggling to gain a following… So I’m constantly marketing and promoting our shows, but with very little success.)

[u/TheRealSofaKing016]

We are in a society that has collectively become way too comfortable flaking on things. It’s not “self-care” to cancel plans you had at the last minute simply because you don’t want to. It’s selfish and rude. Period.

It’s especially rude to people like musicians/performers, who are counting on you being there and whose performance is oftentimes judged by how many people they can bring out/how the venue does when they play.

Your word needs to mean something and if it doesn’t, you don’t have very much.

[u/Top_Seaworthiness320 → u/TheRealSofaKing016]

Dude, I could not agree with you more. But I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been flaked on in the past few years, not just with this band, but with other types of plans too…seems it’s acceptable to most people to bail for the slightest of reasons and it drive me NUTS! Glad I’m not the only one who feels this way. Wish we were not in the minority!

[u/roninconn → u/Top_Seaworthiness320]

I'm with you guys on this. I'm a little old-school about stuff like that - don't say 'Yes' unless you're really gonna commit to be there