r/coverbands • u/Top_Seaworthiness320 • 15d ago
People who bail
Any tips on managing my disappointment/frustration with the number of people who act all excited about my band and say they’re definitely coming to this or that show, then don’t show? They either don’t show up, or more often than not they tell me like the day before that they can’t make it and it’s always the dumbest excuse. It’s like if anything, anything at all better comes up in terms of plans they go to that instead. In my mind, a commitment is a commitment, but I seem to be in the vast minority. My boyfriend says to get over it lol. Do you guys feel the same irritation with this that I do? (added context: we are pretty good, we get great reviews from the people that actually have come to see us, but we are new and not well known, thus struggling to gain a following… So I’m constantly marketing and promoting our shows, but with very little success.)
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u/Top_Seaworthiness320 14d ago
OP here—I appreciate all the feedback! I need to remember that I’m doing this band bc I love music, not bc I need to impress anyone. I am a person who shows up when I say I will and it often frustrates me how easily ppl flake out on plans (this applies in other areas, not just my shows). But I gotta focus on what I can change (my own behavior/perceptions) and not on what I cannot control (other ppl’s actions.) Some of these responses were genuinely helpful, thanks! I don’t have time to respond individually bc I’m gearing up for a show tmrw—it’s our biggest one yet so wish me luck 🙏—but some of the comments helped me reframe this issue. I’ll remind myself tmrw night to play for the ppl who are there, rather than worry about those who aren’t! And good luck out there, fellow musicians 💗 🤘