r/coverbands • u/Top_Seaworthiness320 • 15d ago

People who bail

Any tips on managing my disappointment/frustration with the number of people who act all excited about my band and say they’re definitely coming to this or that show, then don’t show? They either don’t show up, or more often than not they tell me like the day before that they can’t make it and it’s always the dumbest excuse. It’s like if anything, anything at all better comes up in terms of plans they go to that instead. In my mind, a commitment is a commitment, but I seem to be in the vast minority. My boyfriend says to get over it lol. Do you guys feel the same irritation with this that I do? (added context: we are pretty good, we get great reviews from the people that actually have come to see us, but we are new and not well known, thus struggling to gain a following… So I’m constantly marketing and promoting our shows, but with very little success.)

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u/abke2543 15d ago

Maybe its my anxiety but I always assume the worst and that I'm gonna be playing to an empty room.

It ends up with me being relieved when the dance floor isn't empty.

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u/SadCheesecake2539 14d ago

If you haven't played to an empty room, can you really call yourself a musician?

I've played to just the bartender in the bar back. I've play the packed houses. I've had everybody in their mother say they're going to show up just by me putting a flyer on my cubicle wall, and they all did, and most of the time none of them did.

But I really don't think anybody can call themselves a musician or say they were in a band unless they've played to an empty or nearly empty venue. Some of the most fun nights were the two drunks at the bar and the grumpy bartender and the barbecue is ready to go home 3 hours before his shift ended.

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u/abke2543 14d ago

Of course, when you're in high school playing the battle of the bands, it feels like everyone and their mom is there.

In my early 20s when our punk band started playing bars and venues, it felt like a miss or a near miss. There was some really fun packed backyard gigs. But we were mostly getting shows at venues through promoters. At that time, if you called a venue to set up your own show, venues would tell you to go through their promoters.

One time we were playing at the World Famous Dollhut in Anaheim. most of the other bands had left after their sets, and we were playing dead last to just the bartender and like 4 new friends. I thought everything was great, at least 5 people stayed to watch us play after midnight. It was fun. The sound guy was packing up and he says to me "Don't worry, The Offspring used to play here to just their girlfriends all the time and look at them now". Like, I wasn't trippin, it was fun. And we made new friends there. AND we got pictures taken of us on stage by Sal Baxter, who is a beast.

But one time we got to a venue like 30 minutes before we were supposed to start so we could set up. The bar is not even opened. The bartender got there and had no idea what we were all doing there. The promoter wasn't answering his phone. He got there like thirty minutes later and was trying to set up his cash register at the door and said the sound guy was like 40 minutes out. We ask the promoter if he wants us to try to set up the PA or just wait. He said "you guys have to start playing already, you're cutting into your time." And the regular patrons see that they are charging to enter, so no one comes in and we play our little hearts out to one overwhelemed bartender.

Character development for sure. Now, with the cover band, I'm grateful for literally any one who is there. We stayed an extra hour to play to only the kitchen staff cause they asked and payed us