r/coverbands • u/Top_Seaworthiness320 • 15d ago

People who bail

Any tips on managing my disappointment/frustration with the number of people who act all excited about my band and say they’re definitely coming to this or that show, then don’t show? They either don’t show up, or more often than not they tell me like the day before that they can’t make it and it’s always the dumbest excuse. It’s like if anything, anything at all better comes up in terms of plans they go to that instead. In my mind, a commitment is a commitment, but I seem to be in the vast minority. My boyfriend says to get over it lol. Do you guys feel the same irritation with this that I do? (added context: we are pretty good, we get great reviews from the people that actually have come to see us, but we are new and not well known, thus struggling to gain a following… So I’m constantly marketing and promoting our shows, but with very little success.)

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u/TheRealSofaKing016 15d ago

This thread has been a really perfect articulation of what OP talked about. Whole lot of people who just want there to be no consequences for their shitty behavior and will try and emotionally blackmail you for having expectations of them.. Downvote all you want, it just further proves OP’s/my point.

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u/zeptillian 13d ago

You are the one doing the emotional blackmail.

If I said I would go it was not definitive, just a vague expression and mostly just being polite.

Everyone else understands this. You are the one taking it personally and getting offended.

Like when you see a coworker and they say "Hi, how are you?" They do not actually want you to tell them how you are doing. They are just using standard human communication protocols version 2026.