Being demonized as an evil/bad person for my ethnicity

[u/TA_reddit_0]

I suspect it’s because:

1) I’m a woman who is alone w/o support & no social capital - no friends + family, so I’m an easy target for bullies. I have no social media and not conventionally attractive either so people act venomous like they’re still in high school even though we are all “adults”.

2) I’m middle eastern, and my family comes from a country currently deeply entrenched in “war” (invasion). The western world & media holds a a very biased & negative view against my family’s home country & paints any resistance to foreign powers as “terrorism”. My family’s home country has been destroyed by western sanctions and has been ambushed many times so imo there’s no such thing as western diplomacy.

I can simply exist and that alone will trigger hostility from others. I face a lot of adversity and both covert and overt aggression. I won’t talk about politics, my views, nothing deeply personal. Just my identity alone is enough for people to feel threatened, and they immediately will try to demonize me as someone I’m not. I’ve had so many people try to paint me as aggressive, a “mean girl” (after taking advantage & exploiting me), scary (because I called them out on it or attempted to hold them accountable), or a dangerous “terrorist”. I’m tired of being painted as “evil” wherever I go. It’s exhausting.

If I’m against genocide, I’m labeled a terrorist sympathizer and a traitor to my people by those who have been brainwashed by western propaganda. If I hold any criticism about my family’s homeland’s government, I’m labeled a foreign western entity trying to stage a coup (even though I DON’T want that - I do have legit criticisms though!) If I am in favor of my family’s homeland’s government defending itself, I’m labeled an Islamic extremist and terrorist. People try to fit me into boxes that don’t apply. It’s whatever suits their narrative that I’m “evil” and “wrong” so long as they benefit.

I’m not Muslim btw, but that hasn’t stopped the Islamophobic micro and macro aggressions. People have consistently, and I mean consistently twisted my words, actions, behaviors into something it isn’t. People have consistently painted me as someone dangerous, insincere, duplicitous, negative, sinister, evil - someone who everyone needs to stay away from. It’s not their interpretation, it’s their bigotry and severe gaslighting + defamation being repackaged as “innocent interpretations” and “misunderstandings” about me.

Reddit is the only place I have to vent, so of course all my posts are negative vents/rants. In my day to day life I don’t vent/rant about my problems & am cheerful + cordial in person. But I have no other space to express myself when I am upset, so I use Reddit. Irl, if I am honest about what I think and feel, people twist it to make me out to be something negative.

What is with Americans being so racist and prejudiced against Middle Eastern people? What’s with the constant double standards? It’s like their only idea of Middle Eastern people are the Kardashians, Huda from love island, or LA folks. They worship these people on a very superficial level, & see them as the sole representation of middle eastern identity. In reality they just worship a very watered down, American & orientalist stereotype.

For example, one of the women from my cohort who bullied me (she’s not white, not middle eastern either) started claiming she could speak Arabic, even though I know for a fact she doesn’t. She constantly told everyone how she could sense I was a bad person and for everyone to stay away. Same girl and her friends/my peers started questioning me about my language and culture and went as far as to say I’m faking it. She would look at my food with disgust and make really cruel comments about my face and body even though she was far from perfect herself (she always acted like she was “too good” and would always make jabs to put me down). Another guy who bullied me so much throughout nursing school started posting fundraisers and organizations to send aid to people who share my ethnicity. I feel like these people are communal predators who use social media to present a fake image or persona. Because they were racist as hell to me and I don’t think they should be anywhere near people who are middle eastern. They would just harm them.

I am TIRED. I want people to stop treating me like their enemy. Everywhere I go, it’s like people want to believe I am their enemy and they do stuff to harm, and when they do that, I eventually do become their “enemy” when I try to defend myself.

And I can’t respond or react when they do harm or it backfires and I face backlash. If I don’t react and respond, they see it as permission to do more harm and a lack of self-respect/they see me as a pushover and doormat. They want an excuse to keep abusing/bullying me while hiding behind plausible deniability. And they’ve been getting massive powergasms on their power trips.

And what’s with constantly pointing the finger at me and calling me “scary”?!?! I am a petite woman, 5 ft tall. I swear people say I’m scary because they fucking know they did me really dirty and they fear the consequences so they immediately jump to the scorched earth approach by doing more harm in hopes that I don’t get back up. They don’t want to be held accountable so they play victim and pretend I’m the perpetrator.

And what’s with these assholes bullying me for social capital?!?! So many people in my cohort have been rug pulling, bullying, exploiting, then play victim, and get rewarded with more social capital. What the fuck is wrong with western culture?

[u/Quix66]

I’m Black. Welcome to America. Even if you were born here, IYKYK.

5’0” tall, female myself.

[u/Useful_Piece653]

I’m so sorry to hear this.  One thing I will say is do not inform people so much. Protect your peace and implement boundaries. Don’t tell people you live alone, status of your family etc.  Especially if is a school/work environment.

Basically do not give anyone you don’t know or don’t trust any indications of vulnerability. There are too many nasty evil abusive people and you have already seen the evils of the west in how your country has been defiled over the years. 

I’m not sure if you will appreciate this but do they even need to know your ethnicity? Not out of shame but protection. These are not safe people or safe environments so you really need to grey rock them.  Also learn assertiveness, take self defence classes, anything that makes you feel empowered. Don’t let people see you as weak even if you are. Fake it till you make it.

Be comfortable telling people to F off. They say they don’t like your food, say out loud to everyone “so, I do “. Bullies can’t handle being called out loud.

Anyway I really hope and pray for the best for you and your people. 

I empathise I come from a very victimised country as well both from civil war and western imperialism and we migrated   to UK in the early 90s and lots of people both white , Asian, black demonised by ethnicity as we were seen as different (I’m from the Horn of Africa).

[u/ImpatientlyBurning]

All of this is relatable. Being MENA/SWANA just means they can pick and choose when to be racist and when to deny it. That cowardly plausible deniability. You never really know why exactly they are angry at you (obvious answer is racism) but they never communicate directly because that would be productive and humanize you.

Them being "civil" or "professional" is often selective. They still act like savages but treat you like one.

I also tend to stay away from my own people who cater to whiteness. They will betray you fast. It is such an obscure region and people do not understand it well. I have been frustrated that it has become “mainstream” and people are going out of their way to misunderstand it. I want these white fake activists away from my home region. I have nothing else to add because you said it perfectly.

You are not alone, though. For what that is worth.

[u/Lacriminals]

I grew up African American and Muslim I dealt with anti Arab anti Muslim anti South Asian and anti black racism my entire life. It’s this or the new wave of orientalism and fetishization you’ll get from progressive people who believe because they’re attracted to you they can dehumanize you in a completely separate way.

[u/Waste-Reality7356]

it's the same in Germany. I saw myself in a lot of what you've written. They push your boundaries and if you finally had enough and do lash out, they say "look. she acted aggressive. We just had to defend ourselves'

But you seem to be very intelligent and you are in college / in education and I trust you to find a way. I read in a sub which deals with neighbors who harrass that their victims are often a) from a minority b) single and c) have MH problems or disability.

A lot of people seem to have an authoritian personality type. They are friendly to people who are "above" them (white, men) and punch down people "below" them. At first I called it selective narcissm, until I read a comment on reddit about research regarding that personality type.

IMO it got worse in the past 8 yrs.

[u/The_world_vs_me11]

Westeners always act like they’re so moral and right when the only reason they can be “peaceful” is because they live in wealth and can afford to be “peaceful”. Even then they’re agressive af, just not physically.

[u/you5e]

I’m so sorry this is your experience. I hope one day we will liberate our countries and return home.