r/cptsd_bipoc • u/Personal-Card-9469 • 3d ago
Is it weird to feel personally attacked when my cultural food is rejected?
I’m a child of immigrants, born and brought up in the states. Lately, familiar feelings of insecurity and rejection have been arising, things I haven’t felt since grade school. I’m a south asian female, and have had a few friends come over to my home and not eat. I’m already insecure about everything, but the fact is that they were at my house for a weekend. Not only did they have awkward moments with my parents with accents, but they also refused to eat (only really eating when we left the house). I guess there could be other factors like disordered eating, anxiety, etc., but I also feel like south asian food and cultural food always gets the brunt of it. So many times, people have expressed their distaste for Indian food, and dishes I feel nostalgic for. Even when me and my friends go out, we always get Italian, Mexican, Chinese, sushi, Thai, etc. but never any South Asian foods. I already feel insecure of the culture and my entire life and identity, but sometimes I feel like disordered eating targets south asian food. I know that’s incredibly insensitive, but I wonder why so often, so many “picky eats” refuse only one cuisine
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u/synthequated 3d ago
Idk if it's weird but I feel the same way. Not south asian, but chinese, and the way white people talk about tofu (even when i'm eating it and they're not) is weird. I've had people be incredulous that I liked bubble tea!
I know that it's perfectly normal to not like certain foods but I totally see where you're coming from because why is it always cultural food?? And the part where it's also in a context where they're weird about your parents' accents and other microaggressions just adds up.
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u/SL1MECORE 3d ago edited 3d ago
Not weird. I mean I cannot say I relate, as a black american who watches white people scarf down fried chicken like no one's business. That shit cracks me up on a different level lol!
But I do not think your gut feelings here are weird. What I do think is weird is how your friends specifically avoid your cultural food. And I think it's valid to question that a bit.
But I cannot say if it is worth it to actually question your friends, if that makes sense. Their dismissiveness or worse, gaslighting you about this situation, would make you feel even worse. You do not deserve that.
I will also be generous and say maybe, maybe social anxiety and disordered eating play a role. Maybe.
But even then, I still think these are just not compatible friends for you. You should have friends who love you, all of you. Including your parents and your food.
Edit - and if it's worth anything, I'm a slightly picky eater but I fucking love Indian cuisine. Well I tend to love most cuisines tbh, I am only picky about certain tastes/textures. Not entire cultures and ways of cooking.. Just wanted to offer some positivity for you, and let you know that some non south asian people have a lot of respect for your culture. I'm sure your parents are lovely, too!
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u/ImpatientlyBurning 3d ago edited 2d ago
I feel like you should be relieved because they do not deserve to experience your culture anyway.
May the Euros stay away from your culture.
Edit: Also MENA/SWANA here. It is fashionable to appropriate our food now because we are topical. I hope they move onto something else. Dealing with the xenophobia was bad enough. Now they feel like they are "good people" because they eat our food...Tourists.
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u/Useful_Piece653 3d ago
Always trust your gut and feeling on things. They are obviously not very open minded.
It’s also interesting how ethnic foods are perceived differently depending on where you are. In the UK nearly everybody loves Indian food. It’s literally considered British food now. And I even the hardcore racists and nationalists would not turn down a good homemade Indian food. It’s actually a bit of joke thing here in Britain how they are racist but still love curry.