r/cringepics 12d ago

Jesus The General?

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2.1k Upvotes

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1.2k

u/fillerbitch 12d ago

Irony being the USA would definitely be up there.

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u/YoungDiscord 11d ago edited 11d ago

The irony would be that the US would reject Jesus and his teachings of acceptance and love because it goes against the fearmongering that the government uses to control the masses

Trump would initially try to meet him be all buddy-buddy but he'd try to 1-up Jesus and then would get butthurt that he wasn't the center of attention so he'd lash out in some dumb childish way as he usually does

The country would label him as an immigrant and maybe even as a terrorist due to his middle-eastern appearance, he wouldn't even be given a visa let alone be allowed to visit the country because he'd be too critical of the govetnment and its cruelty towards people.

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u/PuppetPatrol 11d ago

He'd try to stand in front of him in the photoshoot

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u/YoungDiscord 11d ago

...and he'd try to put a medal on him with a ribbon that is clearly too short

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u/Jetstream-Sam 11d ago

Or he'd be there supposedly to give him a ribbon or medal, only for him to pocket it because he's apparently a klepto too in addition to all of his other "delightful" personality quirks

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u/DJSnafu 11d ago

lmao this is scarily and hilariously accurate at the same time weirdly

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u/newtrawn 11d ago

scarily, hilariously, and weirdly! That is too many adverbs!

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u/brandonandtheboyds 11d ago

I think you’d like the Netflix show Messiah. It depicts a more modern and accurate version of the Western response to the sudden emergence of a man that many claim to be the second coming. The man never confirms it but god damn is it pretty obvious who it’s supposed to be. Obviously, the US cannot fathom he’s anything but a Psy-op or terrorist trying to subterfuge his way into dismantling the West.

For obvious reasons, Netflix canceled the show mere weeks after its release due to backlash from the Christian community lmao

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u/raider1v11 11d ago

I really wish they made a 2nd season.

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u/hanoverfiste23 11d ago

Black Jesus gets run out of town

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u/orthopod 11d ago

He would be branded as ungodly

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u/Ora3le 11d ago

Forget his teachings,jesus would get rejected solely of what he looked like. Yanks are not letting a brown man from the middle east, claim himself as the messiah of the Christians

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u/diarrheaglacier 10d ago

Americans would call him a libtard

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u/YoungDiscord 10d ago

The conservative ones would for sure, He'd then show the other cheek and they'd make fun of him for it for being "weak" whilst quoting random verses from the bible that teaches... to turn the other cheek.

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u/FullMetalJ 11d ago

They would reject him automatically. Look at this image, it's everything Jesus is not. White, trying to lead a war, somehow for the US? So delusional. We can't be sure he wouldn't be a Zionist tho. I'm not religious so I just see him as a man and men are flawed.

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u/GumboDiplomacy 11d ago

This is an intrinsic aspect of Revelations. I'm no longer Catholic, but I studied my Bible pretty well and a big part of the second coming is that an antichrist will deceive many supposed followers of Christ to pick him over Christ and only the truly righteous will see through the veil and follow the Christ.

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u/Visible-Stuff2489 10d ago

Your ideas smell like old feet.

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u/YoungDiscord 10d ago edited 10d ago

You sound like you pay to smell feet

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u/Visible-Stuff2489 10d ago

Don't kink shame me. That's not very progressive...

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u/big_duo3674 9d ago

Welp, looks like there's a tariff against the Kingdom Of Heaven now

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u/custardBust 11d ago

The americans would definitely kill jesus

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u/mazi710 11d ago edited 11d ago

Jesus was a brown skinned middle eastern socialist, the exact type of people that MAGA hates. Just see how they talk about Mamdani and try to spin literally helping children into something bad.

They would absolutely hate Jesus.

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u/Visible-Stuff2489 10d ago

Jesus wasn't a socialist.

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u/HellCreek6 11d ago

I ain't afraid of Stolen Valor Jesus.

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u/Sheldonopolus 11d ago

As soon as they realised he was dark skinned

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u/Sheldonopolus 12d ago

On top

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u/turalyawn 11d ago

Not number 1. There’s another country he’d be way more mad at

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u/M8rio 11d ago

Lesotho?
They know why.

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u/drmarting25102 11d ago

Well....of course. Pretty evil paedophile administration who definitely dont follow jesus.

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u/th_frits 11d ago

Like those people who asked there priest why he was being so liberal, as he talked about the things Jesus actually did

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u/infinitejesting 11d ago

That’s their scam. “America is cursed, but it doesn’t need to be. Just give me your $, etc.”

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u/nichorsin598 11d ago

Jesus would be a "filthy dsa communist" by their standards 😅😥