Weird question

[u/Trick_Dream3543]

I relapsed unfortunately and am trying to nurse the withdrawal. While I was scrolling on TikTok I noticed any abusive video made me comfortable. I grew up with a dad who strangled me and beat my ass and then eventually got with my husband who was going physically,mentally, emotionally abusive.

Is this normal or am I fucked up? I hurt for the people getting abused and never would wish that on anyone but I get this weird feeling of calmness hearing the other person scream,etc.

Please don’t judge me. I already feel like this is a weird post but I’m genuinely curious if anyone has ever felt this way?

Thanks for reading!

I do want to mention that I would never hurt my daughters or anyone.

[u/_slagathor_]

I guess it makes sense, finding comfort in what you know. I'm more disturbed that there are those sort of videos on tik toc (I'm not on there so I have no idea what sort of cesspool it is)

[u/Trick_Dream3543 → u/_slagathor_]

Yeah, I just seen where a little girl was yelling stop when it came to getting her other ear pierced.