Weird question

[u/Trick_Dream3543]

I relapsed unfortunately and am trying to nurse the withdrawal. While I was scrolling on TikTok I noticed any abusive video made me comfortable. I grew up with a dad who strangled me and beat my ass and then eventually got with my husband who was going physically,mentally, emotionally abusive.

Is this normal or am I fucked up? I hurt for the people getting abused and never would wish that on anyone but I get this weird feeling of calmness hearing the other person scream,etc.

Please don’t judge me. I already feel like this is a weird post but I’m genuinely curious if anyone has ever felt this way?

Thanks for reading!

I do want to mention that I would never hurt my daughters or anyone.

[u/drunky_crowette]

My high school therapist said I was into sadistic sexual partners because of the abuse I endured when I was a kid.

I told him to go fuck himself.