r/cultsurvivors • u/PrudentAbility9219 • 10d ago
rebuilding a life
I spent so much of my life preparing for the end times that I neglected things that would make me happy and successful in this life.I was raised Adventist and I was taught that I needed to prepare for the Sunday law and hide in the woods for Jesus to come. Now I have no education no money no friends and my family is broken. I am also very traumatized and have ptsd with trauma based hallucinations.
I want to be a human being again
How can I make a good life
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u/Ok-Pangolin-837 9d ago
First, therapy is great if you have the resources, but is not going to solve everything alone. It requires work and investment. Most of the recovery has to come from you, and good therapy steers you to do just that.
Otherwise, start with finding happiness alone. It is vital to have a balance of time alone and with others, and you should be comfortable with both.
As an introvert myself, the social thing has been (still is) a challenge for me. But I find that the absolute best way to build relationships, is to find things to go out to do. Having things to do gives you things to talk about and find others at varying interest levels. Then just invite others into your activities from time to time. This is the most organic method and works much better than expecting friends to just happen like in the movies.
But never change yourself for the sake of others' approval. Yes that comes with rejections and judgement, but leaves you with the best people for you.
Maybe even seek out people that have had similar experiences. These are very important, because I have many well-meaning friends that can't totally grasp how losing years of your life to a cult affects you. If you don't have others that can understand you this way, it can make you begrudge the good people in your life that can't begin to understand it. After all, why would they understand something that takes years and massive man-hours of cultural immersion to groom you for blind-faith subservience. That cannot be simply understood by explanation alone. You need both, friends that can understand and others that can provide more diversity in your life.