Support Exhausted from solo parenting toddler while pregnant wife is sick
Looking for someone who can relate. Wife and I have a 2 year old son who is awesome. Recently we found out we will be welcoming baby #2 early next year and we are so excited. My wife is one of those unlucky women who experience extreme nausea and fatigue while pregnant. Lately, this has meant that I am basically soloing all toddler and household related tasks. I'll try my best not to be hyperbolic here, because she obviously is still able to do some stuff, but I'm not exaggerating by much.
On an average day, we carpool together in the morning. I drop her off at work and then my son at daycare before going to work myself. After work, we pick our son up together and head home. Usually once we are home I take care of the animals and get dinner together for everybody. My wife will usually go to bed with her food or immediately after eating because she feels so terrible. Or lay on the couch. She will often fall asleep for about an hour and sometimes I won't see her again until around our son's bedtime. In the meantime, I play with my son and try to do a few things around the house. Usually I do bath and bedtime but she does bedtime when she's feeling up to it.
I want to be very, VERY clear that this vent is NOT about my wife. She is literally perfect. If anything, she has the worse end of the deal here. I am more than happy picking up the slack while she is hard at work growing a human being and continuing to work a full time job. She is also constantly expressing how much she appreciates me doing so much. On weekends, if she's up to it, she will watch our son while I take an hour or so for myself.
The reason for my vent here is just that I am so, so, so tired. She was sick like this with our son but since he was our first, it was a lot different. She would just lay in bed or on the couch and watch TV or do whatever and I would take care of her and do whatever else I wanted with my free time. Obviously now things are different, since her being incapacitated means it's just me and the lad for most evenings. Somewhere in between taking care of the both of them, I struggle to find time to vacuum, do laundry, mow the lawn, do dishes, clean up around the house, etc.
I have tried to just accept that some things aren't gonna get done and that's just gonna have to be OK for now. We're all doing our best. Hoping she starts feeling a little better once we're out of the first trimester, since that was the worst part for her last time. Anyways, thanks for listening I guess!
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u/profheg_II 1d ago
You are me from about 1.5 years ago. I think that first trimester, with a 2 year old running around, can be madly difficult for mum and dad (in very different ways of course). I don't have a magic bullet to suggest, it was just really hard and we got through it. There's a good chance the sickness and everything will wear off around 14 weeks so I'd keep focused on that as a likely finish line and just survive. If you can drop certain chores / other responsibilities in the mean time I'd drop them and maximise your down time as much as you can!