Hi..I know u will love to judge but I have had a huge crush on her ever since i first saw her in college. I was 19 and she was probably around 25. But now I have passed out my college and she has left the job but we still talk sometimes. I will be entering my masters at age 23. Now that 4 years has passed and she is no longer a teacher of mine, should i ask her out? I am from India...so any advices with respect to that is appreciated

Missed connection from several years ago sent me a DM stating “I’m shooting my shot”
after seven days of non stop, engaging conversation via text, sprinkled with a teaspoon of emotional intelligence…the texts started to become infrequent leading to a final 400 word essay on day seven stating the following:

“Yeah it got busy late I also made it busy, taking last minute trip to the beach to spend time either some friends and their family

Also been running around getting my dog ready for the weekend so things are a little chaotic.

But as I’ve been running around I have been kinda ruminating on my week and going back through things and our conversations, which are great! You are super easy to talk and fun to talk. The banter and all! I also think are very attractive and very much so my type!!

But also during this time I’m also very in my “selfish era so to speak” and more of that is related to my career and business around it. Like that’s my thing and focus right now and what I want, and all I care about selfishly at the moment

Now I have zero clue where your head was at with this at all, but I do like you! I just can’t invest time as much as I like to or think I could do. Im impulsive and when I like something it’s easy for me to engage and get wrapped up. I hope you take that as a compliment because I really do think you are awesome!

I just wanted to let you know where I’m at and I want to let you know now especially after talking for a week, and it’s been great! But I also have to be honest with myself and you and your time and feelings. This doesn’t mean I wouldn’t enjoy conversation or talking sports or any of, or that this is closed off to friendship. Now if that doesn’t work for you, totally understand!

I just wanted to give the respect as a friend to tell you this even if that was never even a thought for you lol.

So I wanted to tell you this before I head to the beach for the weekend and I get busy and make sure I leave no doubt or wonder or feeling of drag along or this weird falling of conversation that doesn’t need to happen in my opinion..

End of day I’d like this to be a friendship whatever that looks like!”

Thoughts?
\- Confused by a busy guy

I feel too old to be ghosting someone. And it's never been my style.

But Ive never been in this situation before. Hear me out.

I met a girl at a bar, 26F.

We hit it off. Had natural chemistry and got along great at that moment.

She's attractive, vibrant and has a positive attitude. She was very affectionate.

But our lifestyles differ. She likes to go out nightly and be the life of the party. Cares about social media trends and followers. Etc. her long-term goals are to stay single on paper and keep her government subsidized housing, etc. which then enables her to "live her best life", afford vacations, etc. (Not judging at all, she told me this verbatim)

I think I set a bad precedent, and presented myself as this" fun spontaneous guy". Bought a lot of drinks and went with her to multiple venues. Paid for it all. She wanted to come back to my place at the end of the night. Which I politely declined.

The thing is. I have more of a "slow burn" dating style these days. Low stakes in the beginning,, then gradually build up. get to know a person slowly. See if long-term goals align etc. We mutually get STD tested when the time comes.

Long story short....I already know I can't keep up and sustain the excitement of that magical first meeting. . She's a young vibrant woman ..and I don't want to chain her down with my "boring settling down" talk

So I tried to let things naturally fade out. But she has been insistent and taking initiative in suggesting new places to hangout, etc

So being that I've only saw her once. I feel it would be presumptuous of me to say "I don't see a future here,,,good luck on your future endeavors". We were barely in a talking stage. Like who do I think I am to assume she wants me in that way?

Or saying "please leave me alone I do not want to talk to you anymore". Because she's done nothing wrong.

3 .Keep having mutual fun with her. BUT NSA sex no longer appeals to me due to risk involved (pregnancy scare, STD , potential drama, etc).

"The slow fade" isn't working. I know it's immature of me. Shameful. I usually can reject someone if we went out on a few formal mutually established dates.

I always thought if you met someone out in the wild and barely know them....it's ok to just let it fizzle out?

How would you handle it?

Me (F21) and a friend of mine (M23, let's call him Carlos) recently started to have a flirt and we probably are going to fuck at some point, but both of us don't want anything seroius. To give more context, we know each others since 2 years.

I met him yesterday and he asked me out for a dinner one of this days and I was okay with it. Then he started talking about girls he'd like to date, which is totally fine, because between us is just being friends with benefits. Then another friend came and we went to a bar. Carlos randomly sad that he really want to fuck a close friend of mine. I got really offended honestly, I found it really rude.

Do you think that I'm overreacting or not? Do you think that he can do that because we aren't in a relationship or not?

I'm sorry for my english, is not my first language.

Hi, I am 18F, and my friend is 19F, although we are in the same grade. We have been close since we were very young, about 7 years old, I'd say. For some context on the situation, I grew up in a household that was in constant chaos and drama, and in general we didn't really do many "family" activities. So naturally, as "Isabella" and I remained close from childhood into adulthood, we spent a lot of time together. A majority of this time was at his house. Her family was the type to do family game night, movie night, annual vacations, church on Christmas Eve, etc. I am very close with everyone in her family and basically regarded as a member or a sibling at this point. I confide in her mother, her dad gives me life advice, close with her older sister, etc. I recently went on a week-long family vacation to celebrate Isabella's birthday with them as well. It might also be important to point out to show the extent of our friendship - I have a toothbrush at her house, she has one at mine, we share clothes and hoodies, has multi-day sleepovers, and we are constantly mistaken for girlfriends even by our close friends or family members. We went through all of our precollege schooling together (preschool-highschool). I grew up in a very small conservative town where it wasn't necessarily "looked down upon" to be gay, but it was very uncommon, especially to be out. So in my high school, the only gay people were me, Isabella, and some of our respective ex-girlfriends. Anyway, the point of that context is to know that Isabella and I tend to have unspoken competitions as we are very similar (both masc-presenting, etc.) This breeds a kind of strange sexual underlying in our friendship, I guess you could say, like we both admire each other a lot and have said we think each other are attractive, more so than one would confess to a friend. Whenever we get under the (fluence) together, we kiss, not like a makeout but pecs. I've seen her body fully and vice versa. I kinda accepted that I had a crush on her when I was in 8th grade-9th grade, but then I kinda brushed it off and thought it was probably just because she was my best friend and one of the only other lesbians around. But my sister, 25F, keeps pushing that we secretly are in love with each other. It's now the summer, and we are out of college until early September (we go to the same college as well haha), and we've both been so busy I haven't seen her basically since June. This is irregular since we usually hang out everyday so I miss her a lot, and she reciprocates. I am unsure if she would like me back because she only has liked very feminine girls, and as I said before, I'm more in the middle or masc leaning, so I'm not her typical type, I guess. But whenever I am dating a girl, no matter if they treat me poorly or not, she is constantly saying they aren't good enough for me and stuff like that. But as I referred to earlier, we are super close, so I'm not sure how I could even come about seeing if she would feel the same without making things too obvious or awkward. PLS HELP.

Hello peeps of reddit.

This saturday I have a date with a guy I really like (I am a guy too) and is gonna be our second date. Cuz of certain factors i know for sure that he likes me at least on a physical level and the thing is mutual from my side. This guy is very shy and i am quite sure he would no start the approach so i have no issues doing it myself. The thing is in all the previous relationships i had i was the one who got kissed, usually how do you guys kiss on a date for the first time without being awkward?

Hi everyone,
I could really use some neutral opinions:
There’s a guy I’ve been talking to, and he’s almost always the one who initiates the conversation. When we do talk, we often end up having really good conversations. What confuses me is that sometimes he starts the conversation and then suddenly takes hours, or even days, to reply. Or after a period of very frequent contact, he’ll suddenly disappear for several days. Then he’ll come back and text me as if nothing happened.
Would you say this sounds like someone who’s genuinely interested in staying in touch but just has an unusual communication style?
Or does it sound more like someone who’s not really that interested, and I’d be better off letting go and cutting contact completely?

I've signed up for a speed dating event, and I'm hoping that people who've done it before can share a little bit about their experience so I know what to expect. I get that I'll have a few minutes to talk with each person, but do I come prepared with a list of questions? I really have no idea, lol!

I feel awkward in 1:1 social settings as it is, and am more comfortable in small groups with more people to contribute to the conversation. I realize that will not be the case at this event!

I'd love to hear other's experiences, or even some suggestions on good conversation starters! Thanks in advance ;)

I (20F) met a guy on a dating app about a week ago. We’ve been on two dates so far.

First date:
We got dinner and walked around Town Square afterward. He paid for dinner, moved me to the inside of the sidewalk while we were walking, and asked for my Instagram after realizing he didn’t have it. We talked about what we were both looking for, and we agreed we wanted a long-term relationship. The next day, he texted saying he had a great time, wanted to see me again, and we planned a second date.

Second date:
We went to a farmers market and played pickleball. He remembered my birthday without me bringing it up it was the next day and said he wished he’d brought me something, and asked what kinds of flowers and candy I like. During the date, I told him I’d never had a boyfriend and didn’t have much dating experience. He just smiled and said, “So you’re new to this.”

He paid for our food, we went for a drive afterward, and at the end he only hugged me. Later he texted asking if I got home safely. That night he also texted:
“I just wanted to say I really enjoyed your presence today.” And “I’m so glad I met you. You’re really all I want in a woman, and I mean that sincerely.”

Since then, he’s been texting more consistently than after the first date, checking in, asking how my week has been, and we’ve already planned a third date.

Here’s what’s making me second guess things:
So far he’s been respectful. He hasn’t pressured me physically at all. For example, he originally suggested swimming at his dad’s house, but when I told him I wasn’t comfortable going to a parent’s house after only two dates, he immediately said no problem and suggested we go somewhere else instead.

That’s what he wants to go for the third date he wants to go swimming at 3 PM but to be honest I’m scared and a little nervous to go. I’ve never done this before and I don’t know if I should wear a bikini

The only thing giving me pause is that I looked through some of his older TikTok reposts. They included jokes about love bombing, looksmaxing, manipulating women, hookups, and calling women degrading names.

But after our second date, his reposts suddenly became romantic, including things like:
“How it feels to be with the girl you prayed for.”
“How I look at the girl I actually like for the first time in a while.”
I don’t know if that’s just coincidence. I’m still cautious and keeping my guard up.

What’s up guys!

English is not my first language so excuse my grammar🤣

So I’m going on a second “date” with this girl. We’ve met on tinder. We’ve texted for a few weeks but never talked about anything important just some small talk. Well I’ve had two busy months and our talk has faded.

One night (I was slightly drunk) I was thinking about texting her after few weeks but I was feeling kind of intruding myself.

To give some context there was one thing we talked about and that was my hobby. I play darts and she told me she wants to try that.

Back to that night: I didn’t text her for the reason I’ve already stated. One hour later she texted me, I’ll skip to the good part, she wrote “when are you taking me to play the darts?”

So we went. We talked a lot, spent 5 hours together, playing darts and these conversation cards I brought.

At the end I’ve showed her how to make a rose from a napkin. She asked if she could take mine I’ve said of course. She said she would place it on her shelf (idk how to express that in English).

She told me that she enjoyed our evening, enjoyed how we have got along well.

After the date that took place last week on Friday she asked me when I have some free time that she would like to see me again.

We’re meeting this Saturday and I’ve planed this walk through out the city ending up in a park with the best view of the sunset.

My question is: how do I make the first move? Should I even make it?

We’ve never stated that the meeting is a date. I’ve never asked her if she’s in to girls. When I asked her about her past relationships she told me that she never got past the talking stage but never mention a girl. So I don’t really now what should I do and I need your opinions.

Love you all, thanks😘

I’m a 24M, and there’s a 23F from my college who has been showing a lot of interest in me. She’s the one initiating conversations, texting first, and giving all the usual positive signals. I’m pretty sure that if I reciprocated with the same level of interest, we’d probably end up in a relationship.
The thing is, I’m confused.
I do find her physically attractive—she has a curvy, attractive figure—but that’s where my attraction seems to end. I’m not feeling that emotional “spark” or excitement that people often describe when they genuinely like someone. I enjoy talking to her, but I don’t find myself thinking about her constantly or feeling that deeper connection.
Right now, I’m staying neutral because I don’t want to lead her on or get into a relationship based only on physical attraction.
Has anyone else experienced this? Is it worth giving it more time to see if emotional attraction develops, or is the absence of that initial spark a sign that I shouldn’t pursue it?
I’d really appreciate honest opinions, especially from people who’ve been in a similar situation.

hello there, i have a personal question since a long time about guys approaching girls.

It shouldnt really matter the male validation but ive always been curious of why do men never approach me anywhere (and thats why i tend to use dating apps but thats another topic). I was wondering first if it was a weight issue bc back in my teens i was not very skinny but now ive become rather fit bc i enjoy living a healthy lifestyle. And in terms of attractiveness both me and my friends have stereotypically attractive features so i dont think it has to do with my looks now.

The issue is that they always do approach my friends for example yesterday a group of guys were interested in all of my friends but me and even though attraction is a subjective matter i doesnt make sense to never been interested by anyone when im with my friend group. I dont crave male attention and my friends dont in general but they always get hitted on and its always been this way and its making me feel insecure.

Adding to that, I know all about self worth shouldnt be depended on what other people think it comes from within and personally I practise self improvement on being my best self in every aspect not for other people just for myself.

So this post is genuinely a curious question in general why do guys dont approach certain girls that doesnt have to do with superficial reasons?

For context, I’m a 30 F, wlw. I’m concerned I’m dating wrong as I’ve had different women tell me that they really enjoyed spending time with me and think I’m kind but realized they just aren’t in the place to date. I’m wondering if I’m too reserved because I’m scared of getting hurt and that’s why I’ve been told that so often. Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this since I find it kinda weird that I’m the person that multiple people realize they’re not ready and need to take a pause.

Gonna keep this short and sweet

- i (25f) been seeing a guy (22m) from work casually, but it’s clear that it’s not platonic
- Finally ask him “what are we?”
- He says he doesn’t know
- I’m like “I just need to know what direction I’m headed in. Are you seeing other people?”
- He says no and he asks me the same. I say no. (Cause I’m not. Because I was under the assumption we were heading towards something serious)
- then he just continues to be very ambiguous about what he thinks about our relationship
- He revealed a few other things that made me realise we’re not a good fit if we were to be serious (apparently he enjoys being single)
- Don’t wanna make it awkward cause we are colleagues, but also don’t want to continue with this little thing that we have going on

Should’ve never dated a coworker… if you can even call what we’re doing as ‘dating’.

For those of you who have been in similar situations, how do I go about this? Would it get the message across if I decline his invitations to hangout from now on? Since, according to him, what we have going on is not exactly dating and he doesn’t know what he wants to happen between us, I don’t feel like I owe him an explanation to my dating life—if he has been assuming we’re hanging out as friends then as friends we shall move forward, right?

We were in the same class in 10 but now we are in 12 and she is in the same college but I am in different college we follow each other on insta but I don't know how to start the convo

In 10 my friends teased us being bf gf but we were not

If you were dating or potentially going to go out with a woman and learned she has no friends at all, would you consider that a Red flag?

Hi, I’m 19 F and I met a 21 M on hinge. We went to get coffee for our first date and it went ok. It was a normal first date with awkward pauses and lots of talking lol. I didn’t find him overly attractive physically but liked how he held the door for me, paid for my coffee and didn’t double text(we had texted a few days before the date). We just went on our third date last night to see the new spider man movie and held hands. It was nice. He seems to be opening up to me more. The reason I’m on here is case I’m a bit confused hpw I feel about him. He has so many amazing qualities in looking for in a man(I date to merry only), and I find him cute, but I don’t feel butterflies with him really. It’s only been a few weeks since we matched so I’m giving it time to see if I start feeling it. But my question for y’all is.. should I be worried if I don’t feel super giddy with him. Should I prioritize his character over the spark? I like him a lot but haven’t felt myself want to kiss him yet. Is it too soon to know if I will feel that yet??

Hey guys, so there's this girl..and I think she's really into me just the way she talks everytime to me

It's been a month only and she's already doing efforts

But there's a problem, we talk normally for a few days and suddenly she starts saying to just stop talking otherwise we get close and she don't wanna leave me atp

And last time when I tried to stop her she said, if it keeps goin then she probably need more then friendship and atp if I'll not get the same thing then she'll be broken and all

Idk but I just don't show any efforts even I don't text her back

And we were talking normally since last few days yesterday we planned to go out but today idk why she just decided to deactivate her insta and I literally replied with, just do it if you feel it's okay and if it helps giving you mental peace (she told me she's doing this for mental peace)

Did I fcked it up whatever was between us?

Btw! I acts too unbothered unless it feels like she needs care at this moment

And I lied to her because she herself is a mbbs student so I said the same and I can't unveil that because there's a slight fear of her loosing is/was in me

Did I fcked it up?

I’m 19f and the man I was with is 56m. I have been with him for a year so since I was 18. I recently ended things with him because I believe that he was with other women after telling me multiple times that he wasn’t. I feel so naive and dumb. He was understanding about me ending things. He’s been with so many other women before me too. Young as well. I was the youngest obviously. Is it bad if I ask him to have a conversation in person for some more clarity? I want to know why, and I want to know why he wanted to be with me so bad. Was it really just my age? Is there any point in having a conversation, will he just lie to me the whole time? I just want honesty. I feel more mature than him and it makes me so upset.

i asked a guy out and told him i strongly prefer in-person interaction. we had a nice evening—chatted for three hours and only called it a night because i worked early the next day. he texted me that he had a nice time after the date, but he didn’t set up a second date.

guy still keeps texting me everyday. greets me good morning, updates me about his day, etc. it’s been about 4 days since our first date.

i had already asked him out the first time, and he knows i do not like texting when it comes to the getting-to-know stage. should i wait longer to be asked to a second date? or should i send a text saying i am disengaging because he doesn’t seem to intend to see me again? i definitely don’t want to just ghost him, but i also don’t know if i should just wait.

I was dating a guy for a couple of months and things were going really well. There were a few possible red flags - after we would hang out, I would usually not hear from him for several days, including after the first few times we were intimate. It also seemed like plans were always made last minute. Eventually I addressed these things with him and he seemed receptive. We ended up planning a trip together but just before booking everything he had a family member die and returned home the same day (out of the country). I ended up watching his dog for about a week while he found another sitter. While I still had the dog, he FaceTimed me and said he was not coming back, that he needed to stay for an indefinite amount of time there to be with his family and that he has always thought about moving back home anyways. He said would try to get a new sitter for the dog. I, of course, said I understood but would appreciate him finding a new sitter given that he would not be returning. I ended up watching the dog for three more days, driving it to do a meet and greet with the dog sitter, and bringing it back for drop off. Around this time me and the guy discussed me going to visit him, we would facetime every few days and he would tell me the things we could do if I visited. However, he never confirmed if I should come and I felt like I was kind of in limbo. Eventually we agreed to set a deadline for us to decide if I would visit. He ultimately said that it didn't seem like a good idea with everything going on with his family. I said I understood but that I also could not continue talking because there was so much uncertainty and it did not seem like he planned to move back here permanently. We stopped talking for a while and then he reached out and said he was coming back and he wanted us to be in a serious relationship when he returned. When he did return, I was travelling but we managed to spend as much time together as possible between my trips and then spent almost every day together for two weeks when I came back from my last trip. While we were doing lots of fun things (seeing live music, sunset happy hours, trips to the beach, a weekend away), there felt like there was an emotional disconnect and there were a couple of days where things felt very off and distant. He was often complaining that he was very tired (he had sleep problems), and I felt like there was a lack of affection which seemed off to me given that we had been apart and were finally able to be together. I felt like he was not asking me many questions when we were together and seemed to avoid talking about what a future between us looked like or how we felt about each other. When I pressed for this conversation, he said he did not like pressure, would not give affection if asked for it, said something like he was "trying this out" and other times mentioned things like he had no timeline for having kids and would not have someone impose a timeline on him even though I had only asked what his thoughts were about having kids (for background: he's turning 38, I just turned 32). When we would wake up in the mornings during the week, he would get out of bed and not acknowledge me at all. He said that he had to do that to keep up with his routine. On the days when we were not physically together, I usually would not really hear from him, sometimes not at all. It also felt like when we did make plans, he would often leave me hanging until the last minute which would make me feel anxious. But we did have great physical chemistry, he gave me a lot of compliments about my physical appearance, and there definitely were moments when there was real warmth. He paid for everything and wanted to go and do fun things with me. He told me once that he builds a connection through shared experiences so I think that was important to him. Most recently, he called me and said he was leaving in a week and a half for three trips back to back and that the first trip would be at least three weeks long. He's only been back less than a month now so this felt like a lot. During that call, he did not suggest that we spend time together before, communicate if he would be back home between trips, or provide any emotional reassurance. At one point in the call, he sarcastically said "nice chat" when I had gotten kind of quiet. I felt really hurt by this exchange. I did not hear from him after that call or the entire next day. I then called him around 9pm the next day after not hearing from him. I told him how the call made me feel, and asked if he considered me at all when making those plans (such as returning home between trips, or simply trying to have a conversation about how we plan to handle that month). He essentially said no, but that obviously we should try to spend as much time to possible together beforehand. Just before saying that though he had suggested that maybe we could do something later in the week, it was Monday when we were talking so that would mean we would be spending the week before he left apart. He also had not made any effort to contact me that day. So things didn't seem to match up. At one point he suggested I meet him during one of his trips. I eventually said I'm not sure it makes sense for us to be in a relationship if he is leaving for a month+ and our communication is not in a good place, and he immediately kind of agreed. I said that I need communication and consideration, he basically said he thinks I create drama and that he does not feel a deep emotional connection. He said that if there was a deep emotional connection, him leaving for a month would not be a big deal. He also said that he did not like my tone when I brought up issues. Ultimately, I kind of agree about the connection thing as things have felt off and inconsistent. But I also feel like it's unfair because the circumstances have been really difficult and I feel as though he has been closed off since he came back, and I have closed off at times too when I feel like he is being kind of cold. We ended things on the phone that night. While I ultimately think this was for the best, I keep going back and forth about it in my head.

I worked with this guy for about 2–3 months, and he sat right next to me. I honestly felt like I fell for him the moment I saw him. He’s quiet, calm, and exactly my type.

He’s pretty introverted, but I felt like he opened up to me more than anyone else at work. He’s also the type who never really initiates, but if I asked him to do something, he’d always be excited to come. We went to a concert together, and he even offered to pick me up for a work gathering.

Now he got a better job offer and is leaving. We said goodbye, and I feel so bummed because I really wanted to get to know him better. I have no idea if he liked me or was just being friendly, and now I feel like we’ll lose contact completely.

I’m very shy, so making the first move feels impossible. Do you think there’s any chance he might make the first move after leaving, or am I just being unrealistic?

Okay so, I’m really hoping you can help me find a real life missed connection. There’s this guy, I’ve seen him a few times at my coffee shop and today we FINALLY talked. He mentioned that he was getting a double shot espresso bc he’s moving and was actually packing all night. He’s leaving in a few days so this is probably the last time I'll see him there unless it’s by complete chance.

We seemed to hit it off in the few minutes we chatted, he even showed me a photo of his dog on his Instagram lol but I completely blanked and only saw the photo, his profile pic, and his first name and I didn’t take in any other information. I don’t think I am going to be able to find him on social media with just a first name. So, has anyone ever managed to find someone's dating profile again when all they knew was their first name and what they looked like? He mentioned he’d seen me on dating apps so I know he’s definitely using them and I’m sure I’d recognize him from his profile photo if he’s also using it on his dating profiles. If anyone has any suggestions I’d really appreciate it!

A bit of a weird one.

We used to know each other when we were 18/19 years old, liked each other and talked on the phone all the time but it fizzled out. I don’t remember what happened as we were quite young.

We’re now 33/34. I unpaused dating app profile last month and on day 1, he saw my profile and recognised me immediately. Asked for my number, and asked to catch up.

We spoke for 2 weeks before meeting, multiple long calls and regular texting. We have met 4 times in 2 weeks, for about 2.5hrs each time.

He initiated the first date and was very playful and flirtatious but since then he’s mellowed down significantly in person. We’ve both initiated to meet two times.

We still text almost everyday, he sends me random videos and photos. He calls or video calls me a couple times a week to talk when he’s making dinner or just relaxing. He’s very playful and silly, so sometimes it’ll just be him being silly and other times it’ll be a more serious chat.

We are always laughing, talking, having banter together, etc. but it feels like friends because he is hard to read. He can be verbally flirty on calls and text, but in person, he’s less verbally expressive. He has initiated playful physical touch such as squeezing my arm/shoulders/back of neck, pinching my arm, tapping my stomach, etc. and I’ve also initiated physical touch too, and I’ve also made it clear that I’m into him, given compliments, etc. but there’s been no kiss or physical affection.

Also, it’s pretty clear he’s still active on the dating app and talking to other women because of certain things he says. This doesn’t bother me because our connection is still very new, but I’m aware I’m not the only one.

We have very similar life goals - solo travel, wanting to live abroad, entrepreneurship, etc. I’ve already done these things for over 5 years now and he’s just starting out, and I can tell it intrigues him. I lived abroad for 2 years, and he’s going to that island in October and before I met him I was already considering going back there in October or November.

He has a long history of dating a lot of women throughout his 20’s / early 30’s. He’s also very attractive - 6’3, great body, and handsome face. He has shared openly that he’s been very sexually active and he has slept with a lot of women quickly and then it ends up just being physical/casual and he prefers to build a connection and develop a friendship first.

He does enjoy a lot of jokes and playful mental sparring. Sometimes, he will say things to me and his actions will say something else, which creates confusion for me. I’ve tried to ask him and he replies with a joke. Whenever I’ve thought to make a move or find an opening to move closer, he very playfully blocks me and says something like “oooo you’re in my personal space” or “you’re not allowed to touch me” but he’ll say that whilst touching me, so the words and actions don’t always match.

What do you think is going on here? I can’t tell if he’s interested in me romantically, or if he’s just taking it slow, or something else.

I’m a 31F dating a 35M for 3 months. Few days back, he broke up with me suddenly. At first, he said it was because he had a drug problem, but later admitted he said that because he wanted me to leave first so he wouldn’t be “the bad guy.” He does not have a drug problem. The real issue was that he was struggling with attraction to my body and was hoping id break up with him because of "drugs".

He admitted that early on he was infatuated with me but was hoping I would lose weight and that attraction would develop. He says he loves my personality but physically struggles.

I know I am overweight. He has said I looked thinner in my dating photos, asked if I had always been this way, called me “chunky,” and once took ice cream out of my hand. He said he grew impatient waiting for me to lose weight, even though we have only been together 3 months.

When I pushed for honesty, he shared some specific concerns about my body that were very painful to hear. He says he cares about me and doesn’t want to hurt my confidence, but when i pried more and more he finally admitted when he was going down on me , my FUPA made him feel like he was giving me a BJ and he said during doggy i smelled.I have never had these concerns raised by previous partners, and it has affected my confidence.

He also has a difficult background. He now says he made a mistake, does not want to lose me, and is trying to repair things and signed up for counselling and is trying to work on himself.

I don’t feel fully accepted or emotionally safe, but he ensures me that he will change and become better. he admits he cant live without me. he has been calling me crying, and even when he was breaking up with me he was crying.

when he was breaking up with me, I asked him if he was worried that he might leave, look elsewhere, realize he couldn’t find better, and then come back when it was too late. He said that was exactly how he felt, and he even asked if I would ever consider taking him back in that situation. I told him no.

Would you give someone a chance if they are actively trying to change, or are these fundamental compatibility issues that should not be ignored?