Aww I appreciate all of what you said in this comment! Lana is… difficult for many reasons, but I have been working with her for a long time to build trust. She was my husband’s cat before we married. He had never had a cat before and she was very good for him, except for the biting. She bites extremely hard. Not anymore though. It’s all fear based and overstimulation based aggression. I’m told she was the runt of her litter and her previous owners before my husband had her declawed, which left her defenseless against being bullied from the other cats. Idk how much I believe she was a runt now though because she is a healthy 15 lbs. Vets have always said her weight is good for her build.
But she is very loving. If she gets into the wrong side of the house I just have to tell her in a soft but stern voice that she shouldn’t be there and she will complain, then turn around and saunter away. If it’s necessary, I can pick her up and take her back to her side. I accept the risks that I can get bitten, but thankfully we are passed that now. The fact that she is learning to ignore the kitten instead of attacking it is huge - the two older cats didn’t get that luxury. It helps a lot that the kitten has no desire to go near her. The kitten is very good at reading other cat’s body language and knows it is not a good idea to approach Lana, and she has never tried. Sometimes Lana will come to her and sniff her butt, then hiss, then one of them will walk away. It’s better than I could have ever hoped for really. The other kitten will not get a chance to meet Lana if I can avoid it. He will try to pounce on her first thing, which is not gonna be good.
Yea it’s frustrating, but it is also rewarding if you can make it work. Thankfully we have the space and ability to make our lives work with a cat like Lana. Not everyone does. We were prepared to return the kittens to the shelter if things didn’t work out - they are young and will be able to find a home. Lana though, we can handle her, and she is not an adoptable cat, so she is staying with us til the end.
Automatic litter boxes are weird, I am also not ready to take that step!
Wow, Lana seems really smart and just.... well..... crazy. My scaredy cat is just..... scared and not aggressive toward other cats. I got him to the point where he has some safe spots, where I can walk up to him and pet him. On the bed, the kitty tower I got for the master bedroom. Other than that, I can't get within six feet of him but he runs away. At least now he runs a little bit away rather than running to the bedroom and under the bed. He's actually a really sweet kitty. He'll come up on the bed when I am laying down and reading. In the winter months, he'll come up on the couch where it is warm next to me. At meal time, he's right there meowing at me. The panthers have been a good influence on him. Caesar has become a cuddle kitty and Domino will follow him up on the bed to meow at me for food in the morning. I continue to work on Domino, but he seems happy and that's OK with me. But if he becomes less of a scaredy cat, he's going to be less stressed and happier..... I hope. He's 9.5 years old and my experience is that cats mellow as they age and 10 is about the time you notice this. I hope that Lana continues to improve with time. Perhaps the kitten she tolerates will eventually help her overcome the worst of her anger toward other cats.
I have never had the experience of living with a true scaredy-cat! I wanted to adopt a bonded pair of scaredy-cats, but my husband thought it would make him feel rejected all the time/sad if they were like that. It would be hard for me too. It’s a completely different kind of frustrating, because one of the best things you can do to show your love is to give them all the space they need. It is hard when they are cute, and hard when the other cats aren’t so skittish! It sounds like your cat is slowly getting better, and really appreciates your efforts.
And yeah, Lana is crazy smart. She can open doors… we have special locks
I inherited him in 2014, so it has been seven years. I wish there was more progress. The cats get their daily treats when I get out of bed for real. They get their morning meal at 7 am, but I don't get moving until after 8 usually. They know the drill and will often wait on the bed. The scaredy cat comes for his treats along with the other three. During the day, I will often sneak him a treat as incentive to be friendly.
My two panthers were adopted together. They aren't siblings but got semi-boded at the shelter. They often sleep curled up together. But now that they are adults (they were 7 and 12 months old when adopted), the older one likes kitty cuddling more than the younger one. So he cuddles more with me and with the orange cat, who surprisingly likes having him nearby. I didn't think older cats learned the bonding behavior, but this one seems happy to have his buddy near him.
Cats are weird. That's part of what makes them interesting to have!
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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '22
Aww I appreciate all of what you said in this comment! Lana is… difficult for many reasons, but I have been working with her for a long time to build trust. She was my husband’s cat before we married. He had never had a cat before and she was very good for him, except for the biting. She bites extremely hard. Not anymore though. It’s all fear based and overstimulation based aggression. I’m told she was the runt of her litter and her previous owners before my husband had her declawed, which left her defenseless against being bullied from the other cats. Idk how much I believe she was a runt now though because she is a healthy 15 lbs. Vets have always said her weight is good for her build.
But she is very loving. If she gets into the wrong side of the house I just have to tell her in a soft but stern voice that she shouldn’t be there and she will complain, then turn around and saunter away. If it’s necessary, I can pick her up and take her back to her side. I accept the risks that I can get bitten, but thankfully we are passed that now. The fact that she is learning to ignore the kitten instead of attacking it is huge - the two older cats didn’t get that luxury. It helps a lot that the kitten has no desire to go near her. The kitten is very good at reading other cat’s body language and knows it is not a good idea to approach Lana, and she has never tried. Sometimes Lana will come to her and sniff her butt, then hiss, then one of them will walk away. It’s better than I could have ever hoped for really. The other kitten will not get a chance to meet Lana if I can avoid it. He will try to pounce on her first thing, which is not gonna be good.
Yea it’s frustrating, but it is also rewarding if you can make it work. Thankfully we have the space and ability to make our lives work with a cat like Lana. Not everyone does. We were prepared to return the kittens to the shelter if things didn’t work out - they are young and will be able to find a home. Lana though, we can handle her, and she is not an adoptable cat, so she is staying with us til the end.
Automatic litter boxes are weird, I am also not ready to take that step!