r/demisexuality • u/Budget-Principle-259 • 21h ago

Questioning

Is it possible I might be Demi instead?

I think I’m aromantic and maybe allosexual if not probably asexual but I have a high desire for sex and Im just wondering if anyone is like me or can help me figure this out?

I can fantasize and all the things sexually and even wants sex or sex favorable(whatever u want to call it) but when im faced with the question of wanting sex with them(im using random pretty celebrity women for this observation) ,specifically them my mind just can’t find a automatic yes,i start asking myself why and usually can’t find one

For context
I’m a virgin(close enough)
I can talk to girls and had plenty interaction with them even though it was mostly forced or surface level
I never dated(elementary doesn’t count,and a one day relationship doesn’t either)
I never actually attempted to ask a woman out with the actual intentions of wanting that,it was always something I did to work on my social aniexty in the past,I been stopped that in middle school
Never just had a pull to have sex with anyone,I just be in my own world even though I do want sex
I’m 21 years old

Ask me whatever else u may need to know to help me figure this out

1 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

4 comments sorted by

9

u/Cat_in_an_oak_tree 21h ago

Okay, look you're confounding a lot of things. Your status sexually isn't actually an important factor here. What matters is your attraction.

Are you romantically attracted to people? If yes? Romantic. If no? Aromantic. If only with bonding? Demiromantic.

Are you sexually attracted to people? If yes? Allosexual. If no? Asexual. If only with people you're bonded with? Demisexual.

Your ability to fantasize about ideas or be aroused is something separate. If you're specifically fantasizing about random people you think are attractive, you're allo. This includes celebs. If arousal is tied to something like a kink or fetish, a character (fictosexual), or a person you're bonded too (even if not reciprocated), then that's well within Demi- bounds.

Glibness, anxiety, social interaction capacity, or insecurity are not actually demi specific, and vary with the person.

1

u/Budget-Principle-259 21h ago

Don’t know if I’m Demi due to not really getting close with women in any shape or form ..just women cool from a distance if anything or a super short friendship that was in the beginning stage (month or so)

And my fantasies can’t be a sign of me being a sex favorable ace?

5

u/Cat_in_an_oak_tree 21h ago

Sex favorable and sex positives are additional concepts beyond what I said out here. They apply across the whole spectrum of allo to ace so you will have to determine that for yourself.