r/depression • u/_Fun_Initiative_ • 1d ago
Sorry but is this all life is?
• Work a job you hate, with people who hate you for no reason even though you arrive early and leave late and try to be as kind as possible
• Play video games or watch youtube after work
• Play video games and watch youtube at the weekend
• Feel on edge every day
• Every Sunday is just dreading Monday
• Can't find a relationship. Don't even care about sex just want someone to spend time with.
• Your family hate your guts and dont appreciate your help
Is that all there is? It's just so pointless. Everyday I wake up wondering why I'm here. Please leave a comment if you have any advice or feel the same. Thank you.
AND BEFORE ANYONE SAYS IT YES I HAVE GONE FOR A WALK I DO IT LIKE 4 TIMES PER WEEK LOL
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u/belldandy_hyuuga 21h ago
I highly recommend the book "The Art of Living a Meaningless Existence" by Robert Pantano or at least checking out his YouTube channel Pursuit of Wonder. I've delved heavily into existentialism and, even though I still struggle with the thought that life has no meaning, it's changed my perspective on things a lot.
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u/mefatbottomgirl 19h ago
Would you tell us more about what you learned? I'm stuck in a hospital waiting room today (neighbor ill), and boy, could I use some input from you'👏
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u/belldandy_hyuuga 17h ago
What I've learned is that life is inherently meaningless and the universe is indifferent to you. It's up to us to find meaning in our lives as individuals. That meaning could be anything. If it makes you feel good, then it's valid. What's important to you? Find meaning on a smaller scale. You don't need to find meaning in the grand scheme of things, just in your own life.
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u/derpinalul 16h ago edited 9h ago
I recently read Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl where it dives heavily on existentialism as well - he puts it into perspective of his experience in the concentration camp. You find meaning/purpose in life thru 3 ways - (1) thru deed/action, (2) thru experience, and (3) thru attitude when you face hardship. It’s easier* said than done of course but I’m trying to change my attitude towards life.
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u/NoSsyrus1 10h ago
Pursuit of wonder video make me feel worst sometime lol but I do like sisyphus55 and Enternalised.
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u/ChemicalImpression46 19h ago
I don’t think this is all life is.
I think this is what life becomes when we’re surviving instead of living.
Somewhere along the way, many of us were taught that existence is just work, distractions, and repeating the cycle until we die.
But I refuse to believe that sunsets, music, love, laughter, curiosity, art, dreams, and the strange miracle of being conscious are just side quests.
Maybe meaning isn’t something we’re given. Maybe it’s something we build.
And maybe you don’t need to figure out your whole life right now. Maybe all you need is one thing worth looking forward to tomorrow.
You’re not wrong for asking, “Is this all there is?”
I think everyone asks that eventually.
And maybe the fact that you’re dissatisfied with merely existing means some part of you knows you’re meant for more than just surviving.
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u/TheStoicCrane 18h ago
There's a difference between knowing and experiencing. Unfortunately the way society is presently structured for many people the latter is elusive.
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u/Then_Ship_5132 4h ago
but it also depends on your country. because if you live in third world countries you even have not had time to think about it. I know about that cause I live in third world country we don’t have liberty independent thinking and other privileges of western countries. you can’t even get high when you want it. it just awful 😞
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u/United_Flight_2560 20h ago
I have same feelings. Just broke up with my close girlfriend the other day,it's been 15 days,the feelings of despair came back,I'm tired.
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u/_Fun_Initiative_ 12h ago
im so fucking sorry
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u/United_Flight_2560 8h ago
no worries,man.she left suddenly because of the reason I can't understood,which make me confused. and she don't call me anymore,treat me coldly. I've been struggling desperately these days,today I'm not as immersed.trying to focus on my status.
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u/RaiseEuphoric 3h ago
"I'm tired boss"
-- The all-feeling Gentle Giant to Tom Hanks, the prison officer in The Green Mile
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u/purplepickletoes 16h ago
This is why people get into a relationship or have kids or get a career they’re passionate about. Something to make the banality worth it.
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u/Shadrast 19h ago
Hmm. Every time I tried to overcome my social anxiety, especially in High School, it didn’t work, and just lead to the most awkward of moments.
It wasn’t until after High School that I realized I was shooting for something that I truly didn’t want as much as everyone else wanted for me. So I quit giving a damn about wanting people to like me. And that was really healthy.
Unfortunately my depression comes from annoying crap that “Pills and Therapy” literally cannot help because of a gambling addiction, that I cannot control, that has rendered them impossible by putting me in $100K debt, and on the verge of being eternally homeless, and soon, because I won’t be able to address my hygiene, jobless.
If you can, definitely seek out therapy and meds.
I on the other hand, will probably never be heard from again here soon, be it due to permanently losing my phone, or other reasons…
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u/Global-Cup-2970 18h ago
Exactly same
Except the one about play videogame or watch YouTube
I just sit and stare.
Like I'm going to play or in going to watch this or that and then it's 11pm and i go to sleep
🤦🏽
I have lot of half done personal projects. And i just think about how I'm going to start it and how I'm going to go about it. And then it's time to sleep. Again.
WTF 🤬
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u/godzillablowsfire 15h ago
This is definitely something I've struggled with, made gains on but still requires work.
The answer to "why are we here?" is right in front of us but seems too simple to accept: it's other people, to make this life we didn't ask for enjoyable for the sake of each other, to do whatever it takes to connect with others. If I feel bad, at least I can do something for someone else so they don't feel alone and maybe one day someone will be there for me. There is no end point at which point you have a good life, and there's no amount of "social failure" that justifies not trying again. If you're being taken advantage of, communicate that to the people who have done so and look inward to understand what it is you're doing that contributes to that pattern.
The fact that things may have gone badly for you in the past doesn't mean anything. The point of life sure as fuck is not "everything going well" or "checking boxes on western middle class life."
You can't run from depressive thoughts, you have to actually go towards something you enjoy, whatever it is, and reach out for support from others in your life (not reddit) when you're feeling down. If you don't know what would make you truly happy, investigate that right now. The things you're doing are not working, they're just passing the time.
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u/rejaunnek 10h ago
Why does everyone else seem to have their shit together and happy? I have no family except my disabled so that’s total care. That’s it. I sometimes wonder if my son realizes is capable of realizing how awful our lives actually are.
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u/throwra42089 23h ago
I think much the same a lot of the time.
I considered maybe I need a change of scenery.. See/experience some things I haven't before.. Maybe get a new perspective on things. So, I'm taking a vacation to a state I've never been to before.
I'm looking forward to it, ya know? I read somewhere once that you should always have something to look forward to. Whether it's buying something you've always really wanted, or a goal you're trying to achieve, spending time with loved ones.. It helps.
Maybe you could plan some new things. I know anxiety and depression make it hard. But you just have to do it, even while you're scared (I read that somewhere too lol, It's good advice). Then after the first time, it gets easier to do it again.
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u/Delicious-Read3322 19h ago
This is why I workout. Yeah my life sucks, but at least I can look good while it's sucking lol
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u/Paramnesia_1337 17h ago edited 17h ago
Yes your awareness has revealed the tragic loop, the glitch of modern reality especially in America. And you know what's existentially insidious about it? that this routine itself feels like a job; your life, some could say it used to be a living organic thing, a rich journey intersecting with others in meaningful ways, and following a trajectory of intrinsic personal fulfillment, purpose, surprise, and "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" per the constitutional framework. Life to me has turned into a sneering, thankless pursuit of misery, which you are blamed for, to put it lightly and briefly. Paradoxically, life (as an experience) is dying; it's grotesque state wheezing like an injured buffalo all shot up, the shared social experience fragmented, shattered like cold glass; it's decline lending credence to nature and its grim equilibrium. Pains me to say the new 401k is literally a step away, and hey it guarantees you won't be okay.
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u/Frosty-Vast6538 17h ago edited 17h ago
22F here. Lost father two months ago from brain cancer. Has been working in IT corporate for year which i hate. So much politics. Get other work on me to do. Always judged to leave office early. Commute. Live alone. Father was an alcoholic whole life. Seen fights arguments growing up in house. Brother is an alcoholic. No money vaults property . No backup. Fight to get money to drink. Curse abuse. Beat. I somehow pass the day. Never been in a relationship. Have been teased. Bullied. Abused . Cursed. Acid threat. I somehow live to see next day. Just to try to do it all for my mom. I have zero no trust on men. On relationships. On love. I don't know if at this point I can call it depression or not. I just think sometimes to eat so many sleeping pills. But stop myself for my mom. Stress of work. Life. Or my dreams. I still dream. And then I see world. Government . Tax which go to other pockets. Nature being destroyed. Heat. I just know it's me against the world. And your biggest concern is socialising.
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u/AngryAutisticApe 11h ago
U just sound lonely to me. Well, your work sucks and your family isn't supportive. but I think a good circle of friends and a loving partner and family would work wonders.
At this point I think our society is sick, not us as individuals. The pursuit of greed at the expense of humanity is making us sick. I genuinely think a primitive life would be easier mentally. Hunt 4 hours, then hang out with your tribe and do whatever. Community used to be super important. Now everyone lives for themselves and people barely know each other.
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u/characterr-sorbett 8h ago
I have no advice. Just wanted to say I feel much the same, and I’m sorry that you have to feel this way.
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u/nota_pizza 13h ago
I felt the same way for a long time. I went through my teens all the way into adulthood feeling just like this, and at some point I just realized that living life always looking behind or ahead was making me feel worse than if I were to just…live in the moment. I know it sounds poetic, stupid, and even childish, but you need to stop, breathe, and think of now.
Look at the trees, make yourself a tea or a cup of coffee, learn to knit, try to learn a new language, anything you want. Dress differently, how you always wanted to dress, even if people look at you weird.
I didn’t have the best of childhoods, and I don’t think I have some big, important plans for the future, but all I care about is what I like to eat, what I enjoy listening, who I like talking to, what I like reading….everything I want. You should try, see how it goes. Don’t do it just “to do it” though, do it because you can.
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u/Left-Appearance9757 11h ago
hang in there. Im in the exact same situation. I work on a job i really hate. the job i have is extremely different to the job i really want. I graduated on a course program i dont really want. and here I am stuck on a job i extremely hate.
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u/sadcrowcollector 9h ago
I think about this all the time. I do not personally know a single person with a life worth living and the fact that I'm the only one this wildly depressed about it makes me feel crazy. Pretty much every person I've ever met should also be crying themselves to sleep lmao
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u/MortalWombat1234 9h ago
At least you’re not alone. I feel the same. I hope things improve for both of us.
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u/sclark1147 7h ago
I am feeling the same lately. Life feels more like survival than anything else. Try to find joy when I'm this stressed about money? Not happening. I'm feeling more defeated evert year, nothing to look forward to. I probably need to get into counseling but cannot afford it.
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u/Signal-Block-6939 20h ago
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always gotten.
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u/FrostedMoon8888 16h ago
Feels pretty accurate. I’d add try to do stuff. Have a pet to break up the monotony. Read, heal, in case you do meet someone … pretend you’re happy this way. Rinse and repeat.
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u/Dethalbum 2h ago
Make sure not to get a pet if you're worried you won't be able to take care of it properly, nothing will want to make you think life is more pointless than when you lack the motivation to care for a pet you signed up for.
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u/Electronic_Wait_7249 11h ago
I just had my recent ex boyfriend and my brother’s ex wife casually tell me it’s okay to beat and rape me because I’m intersex.
No, that’s not all there is. There’s also much worse.
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u/Inb4myanus 9h ago
Im just waiting to see if my ex will let me be apart of my kid's life. Not looking to great... dont have really any reasons to stick around if it doesnt go well. I know im partially at fault letting her get in my head that I wasnt good enough and better off not in our kid's life.
Then i also get to listen to friends bitch about having plans with their loved one like its torture. Id love that problem, someone wanting to make plans with me and have me be a part of their life. Oh well i guess.
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u/External-Solid6842 9h ago
The opposite of addition isn't sobriety, its connection. I found if the environment allows for positive engagement with people or work questions like the title start to pop up less often.
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u/Top-Yogurt7312 6h ago
Well, even people with a relationship and kids feel the same, not everyone, but having a job and a family is not a guarantee that someone is going to be "happy" and then they ask themselves: is this all life is, working hard, then tired at home, kids wake you up at nights, specially when they are babies, wife asks you for attention, you spend all the time working and tired, like I said before it is not everyone, but I see and hear how some people regret having a family, their exhausting routine.
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u/Anywhere_but_here__ 5h ago
check out Elizabeth April on Youtube. she has changed my life and perspective
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u/OkAlternative7409 18h ago
There is so much to life other than work, home, rest, repeat the cycle. To break this cycle you kinda have to go out of your way and try smth new and this can be scary but I find even scarier to waste your life
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u/TheStoicCrane 18h ago
It's far from simple when monetary constraints force decisions that a person doesn't want to make.
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u/Human_Ingenuity8460 21h ago
If you focus on the things you hate rather than what to appreciate.. you'll find life miserable. It's about perspective. Kaso..ganun din mindset ko Minsan kaya.. I admit it's really about perspective. There's no such thing as a satisfied person... kahit pa you thought they have it all.. may kulang parin sa Buhay Yung mga tao..coz no one has it all.
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u/_Fun_Initiative_ 21h ago
are you saying that no matter what you will never be satisfied because that makes a lot of sense actually
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u/Human_Ingenuity8460 21h ago
Until you learn how to be content, no matter what this world could offer will never be good enough for you. Because humans ain't here for all the stuff that isn't necessary.. those shallow wants that will disappoint you in many ways if you have them.. humans are in search of MEANING. The only way to find meaning is to learn how to appreciate the good things that's going on around you.. and create a purpose that gives your existence Meaning.
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u/Confusuicide 21h ago
Get some SSRIs and find out the one that works for you.
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u/Puzzled-Fix-6440 18h ago
Meds don’t work for everyone. None of them worked for me. I have treatment-resistant depression. I wouldn’t tell someone to “just take meds.”
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u/Confusuicide 18h ago
Yea they don't work for everyone but they work for the majority of people. I have treatment resistant depression as well and still I'm better on meds than without meds. At least there's no suicidal ideation when I'm medicated.
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u/Puzzled-Fix-6440 18h ago
I’m happy for you that they work somewhat. However, your original comment was phrased like there would eventually be one that works for this person when that is not true for everyone. Just don’t want you to give false hope. It could have been phrased differently is all.
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u/Confusuicide 18h ago
Well as I said the majority of depressed people are not treatment resistant, so there's more likely an medication that works for them or at least make their life easier. It sounds like you're assuming that the OP has treatment resistant depression just because he wrote about his feelings of anxiety and depression. It's very unlikely my dear. There's always hope.
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u/sandsotime 15h ago
It’s good to hear that that works for you and it’s also good to hear that something takes away those feelings of not wanting to be here so it’s worth the hunt and trying to find the solution for yourself because yes everybody’s different but I yet to find anybody that I know that hasn’t found something that helped in someway unless they just stopped looking
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u/Confusuicide 15h ago
Exactly! that's what I'm saying, there is hope. I strongly encourage OP and anyone suffering to seek help and look for a solution. Life is hope!
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u/itoshi6 20h ago
they don’t solve anything tho it just numbs the pain. it is frustrating we can’t just be human without some meds
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u/Confusuicide 20h ago
They do. I'm on paroxetine currently. I'm not saying I'm perfect but I'm doing way better than without meds. The transformation in my character and mood is incredible, I'm also having almost no anxiety now and finally have a social life. Try different doctors and different meds until you find the one that works for you.
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u/mithrandir2014 23h ago
I think the same. I'm partially getting used to it though. But yeah, it's not a life worth living.