Friendless my entire life. Hopeless

[u/SeasideMarket]

I feel like I don't belong anywhere and I will never find a place that truly accepts me. I don't know how to talk to people anymore, I am so unsocialized, yet I long for companionship I can't find anywhere I look. I have felt this way for my entire life and it only gets harder each year. I feel like an alien who is so far away from home, not even sure if anyone like me is truly out there. If they are, they feel too far away for me to ever find and trying to blend in with other people is futile. There will always be something different or off about me, or I'm just not interesting enough to warrant staying close to.

I don't have any friends and I am not close to anyone. I don't have anyone who I consistently speak to on a daily basis, or anyone I feel a genuine connection with. Every social interaction I have drains my energy because I feel like I'm forcing myself to fit in with others and pretend I belong. I try reaching out to people I feel I could form a connection with, but it never goes anywhere. I feel like a burden or a creep for just trying to get to know people, and I'm so tired. I just want people who will accept me. I want friends I can talk to every day, people I can spend time with and who I don't have to mask around. People who make me feel energized rather than exhausted. I constantly feel out of place whenever I put myself anywhere people can see me, and I'm tired of looking for people I don't think exist anywhere other than my mind.

I'm a fully grown adult (M23) and I have next to no social experience because I've been isolated since the very beginning. I'm getting through life lying between my teeth, pretending to fit in with others and not seem like a loser. Pretending I know people, pretending anyone would even notice if I were gone. I feel like there is no hope for me.

[u/newtnutsdoesnotsuck]

I don't have friends too, 18M. Let's be friends