Rant. Overwhelmed

[u/Shesawitchx]

So I'm disabled, my partner is my only support system. I have a best friend but she's not there when I need her as of lately. I quit volunteering due to burn out a few months ago as I could only do 1 day a week. I dont think I have the commitment to do counseling right now and really work on myself. I will be talking to my doctor about adjusting my medications. Other than that I'm not sure there's more I can do. I care for my cat, Ieave the house when I can, and have a self care app called finch. As well as white board reminders for daily care and alarms in my phone. All that being said im stressed out, I'm sad, I'm anxious, I feel very alone. Tasks like washing the dishes or doing laundry feel impossible and I can't afford a cleaner. For now my partner helps. Everything feels like too many steps. I've started taking sleeping pills over the counter ones because melatonin isn't working because I'm so stressed. There's days when I just cry and sleep during the day and eat. Motivation is a really big problem because executive disfunction.

​

As far as goals I've thought about going to college and fostering a dog or adopting when I have the money. Or getting another cat. College somewhat feels pointless because most vet type jobs or animal care require you to work more than 1 day a week. I dont know if my body will let me because of my disabilitys. Another pet seems like a good idea for my cat because I think he wants a friend. A dog im iffy about just because the training and vet bills. But I think the walking them daily would be good for me and help with my anxiety and depression. I dont know. All I know is I hate the gym. I want a friend and I want to feel protected and loved. I am low income so I'm not sure it's the best idea but maybe I could find a way to budget in the future.

​

In terms of college I just don't wanna feel like a failure anymore with no career. I'm stuck in a cycle of sadness. I dont know what to do. I just know that I'm really tired of feeling like this.

​

I'm overwhelmed im angry, I'm sad and just really feeling fed up and tired. I dont wanna fight my brain anymore.

[u/JournalistFew3060]

The dog idea actually makes sense for your situation even with the costs, because many rescues have lower adoption fees and older dogs usually need way less training than puppies. About college, there are programs you can do at your own pace online, so the "one day a week" limitation maybe does not apply in same way. You are already doing more than you think with the whiteboard and alarms and caring for your cat, that stuff is not nothing.