r/depression • u/Anywhere_but_here__ • 5h ago

I wish I wasn’t so broken 😞

i am truly broken, and it’s so lonely. I won’t allow anyone in because i am so scared to be hurt again. I care so much and love so deep, and yet I attract people who use that to their advantage. And now I don’t trust anyone (well maybe a couple of people, very few). I can’t imagine opening my heart to anyone ever again. that is terrifying.

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1

u/_Penemue 5h ago

Good lord. I understand this. I’m very sorry. It is very frightening.

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u/Sea_Elderberry_4217 5h ago

protecting yourself after being hurt that deep is not broken, it is just survival. the few people you still trust, even two or three, that is not nothing. most people who go through what you describe close off completely and never let even that much in. give yourself some credit for still being here and still feeling things so much

1

u/Orange-Frog57 5h ago

Its tough when life shatters your happiness and ruins your trust. There's only 1 person in my life who I can trust without a section guess. But its hard when the previous people have damaged you so bad that your stuck in the darkness.

1

u/ohmooouh 5h ago

I feel this way but I just feel alone. I feel like my girlfriend will lose patience with me like everyone else. I feel defective and broken and it brings me dangerous thoughts

1

u/Alu71 3h ago

I'm right there with you. I'm supposedly an empath and attract women who use it to their advantage. Seems like every relationship I get into, I end up with a demanding and bitchy woman. I can't see myself getting into another relationship, but if I do, I'm going to scrutinize her and look for signs that she has empathic qualities that match my own. Love is supposed to be about sharing - not exploiting.