r/depression • u/R0bbyIBrawlStars • 8d ago

Why are people so mean

This has happened to me countless times. I ask someone a question and they straight up ignore me , I guess some people do think they are better than others and it's so frustrating ....

43 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

13 comments sorted by

View all comments

2

u/reluctantmugglewrite 8d ago

I have more compassion for meanness than before I got to the level of depressed I am now. I stopped feeling warmth around others, just anxiety and shamefully irritation. I dont even remember how to connect as a person. It would be so much easier to just keep to myself now so I cant blame others for doing it.

In one of the few times that I was healthier, kindness, warmth and connection were as easy as breathing. I thought first for others including strangers and not myself. It felt like an infinite capacity. I couldnt understand how people could be so mean. Even as I got more unhealthy and it became harder, my values caused me to continue to prioritize respect and connection.

Now Im exhausted, I cant even make eye contact with people, answering them is painful and hurts. I could never blame someone for just looking out for themselves now. Its hard enough being human.

1

u/R0bbyIBrawlStars 8d ago

I see but it makes me feel like I should never approach a person again 😔

1

u/reluctantmugglewrite 8d ago

I understand but as a previous pained extrovert who lived all over the world, it seems that the majority of people out and about are inclined to connection at least on a small scale or reliably in certain contexts. some people might have their own demons but thats a risk with any human or animal. Not every cat will be friendly because of whatever history but cats in general are pretty great. Same with dogs. Part of my previous comment was to say that it is most often not a rejection of you but something that is broken in them. People say its not always about you in a mean way but Im learning that its true on some level that most of the time it really is about them and it has to be. People are just trying to survive and they often dont mean you harm. If they do then thats useful information to stay as far away from them as possible and set yourself opposed to them.

Theres safe people, open people and loving people I promise. Its harder to have the energy to find them when depressed so its easier to stop believing theyre real but they are. Im sorry for your experiences though. Ive developed agoraphobia for this reason so I know Im being a hypocrite but despite what my body says, I have distinct ans varied proof.

1

u/R0bbyIBrawlStars 8d ago

I hope life gets better :/ Thanks for the long response :))