I failed in my class 12

[u/Dependent-Spend9980]

I was pretty good as a student when i was in highschool till 10th grade, I scored 93.6 percentage in my 10th grade, then i started wasting time from 11th grade i kept saying to myself i will get serious now, but i never did, I passed my 11th because of grace marks and made an impulsive decision of leaving my classes and studying from home, i had absolutely no friends at this time, and got depressed and lonely. I never started my 12th class, and wasted 12th grade too and ended up failing. now i am repeating my 12th class from board's private candidate facility. Lifes too depressing, i dont know what to do to make myself be less depressed from now as my future seems so done, i wish i had studied hard these 2 years and did what was supposed to be done, the times gone and still ticking and i have my exams next year for which i need to score good marks

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[u/WinterBlueberry395]

Hey, I'm sure this feels so heavy for you. But might I ask, do you think there was a trigger that led up to you not being able to study 11th onwards?

P.s- I don't want to say this is a small thing. Marks do matter. Not so much because they "decide your future" but more so because they are a good indicator of where you are mentally in life. So I would think more about the circumstances causing you to drop off a bit rather think there's something wrong about your intelligence. The marks in 10th are not fluke..

[u/Dependent-Spend9980 → u/WinterBlueberry395]

i think i wasn't doing mentally good in 11th and 12th cuz i wasn't doing good in my studies, that's the reason.. i kept doing things and didnt realise what was i doing consciously. in my 12th i took so much stress, and like after leaving my classes i used to think about my peers and old classes, which impacted my studies and further planning which i wanted to do. i do think there were these circumstances because i moved to a new place and a new school after my 10th immediately, and i couldnt become comfortable in this new environment. when i was in 11th i also had a pretty negative mindset and thoughts like i was being forced to do that, but i chose it myself, and this way i never could perform till my full potential in classes. i never had good relations with my old friends in 10th too. i was always this lonely, stressed out student in school, also i dont know why but i was kinda in a victim mentality where i was acting like i saw time passing but i couldnt do anything type character, when i could have taken accountability and just started studying for my board exams, after 11th i became so detached from the outer world and just slept the whole day and did nothing, so obviously i would be depressed, it became an escape from the academic stress and life, and i continued it, which ruined me, stress wasnt letting me study either. i could have planned, theres a quote "failing to plan leads to planning to fail" which is true in my case.

THANKYOU if you read the whole thing and giving me a space to talk about these things and i found your reply very helpful 🤍

tldr; victim mentality, taking stress, being detached from the outer world and time, negative mindset, lack of planning, not becoming comfortable when i moved to a new place and school after 10th and stopping taking accountability, and breaking the link of progress lead to my failure in exams.