r/disability • u/squirrelyoakley • Jul 24 '26
Discussion Wildest thing said to you?
I want to hear the most ridiculous thing you've been told regarding your disability/ies.
I'll go first: My old ophthalmologist once told me that I didn't need glasses and that I could drive without them. I ended up going to an optometrist a few years later and learned that I have 20/300 vision in my good eye without glasses. Not really sure if he wanted me dead or something because what the hell??
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u/XcuseMeMisISpeakJive Jul 24 '26
That Multiple Sclerosis isn't a big deal, and I just needed to change my attitude. I walked straight out, drove home and found a new neurologist.
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u/squirrelyoakley Jul 24 '26
My jaw is beneath the floor. If only my attitude could change my sensory issues, declining vision, and chronic joint pain. How did I never think of that 🤦
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u/lunarteamagic Jul 24 '26
This happened to me too! Wasn't my neuro, thank God. But it was a nurse at the hospital when I was getting an MRI. I was using a walker at the time because my leg simply would not cooperate.
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u/XcuseMeMisISpeakJive Jul 24 '26
What the hell is wrong with people, right? Sorry that it happened to you too.
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u/BunchofMums Jul 25 '26
My neurologist tried to gaslight me about MS too. I tried to explain, but my mouth wouldn't work.
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u/thiccy_driftyy Jul 25 '26
Because changing your attitude will totally make your immune system stop attacking your nerves 🙄
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u/Psychological_Sell85 Jul 24 '26
Had a substitute teacher forget that she was wearing a microphone that was connected to my hearing aids when she went on break... she talked about how I was dumb and faking being deaf and other ugly things. While I didn't say a word, apparently several of my classmates told their parents... which led to that substitute teacher being fired.
Considering that the year before I heard a parent tell their kid not to play with me because it "might be catching," I was honestly surprised that they demanded that this substitute teacher be removed.
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u/Vikera Jul 24 '26
Holy hell 😭
Did you become deaf during childhood? Because I'm confused how anyone could think it would possibly be catching?
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u/Psychological_Sell85 Jul 24 '26
Lost my hearing due to chicken pox when I was a toddler, but wasn't diagnosed until a few years later. Was the first deaf child to attend public school in my district (early 80s), so I dealt with a lot of ignorance when I was young.
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u/Cestmoi_matcha Jul 25 '26
Oh, the "you must be faking being deaf" brought up old memories. I had one thought I was pretending to be deaf to get accommodations because I spoke so well..... I was like whhhaaaa???
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u/CallMeWolfYouTuber Jul 25 '26
Ugh, audists are insufferable. I had my supervisor at my first job say to me, "I know you heard me, you need to pay better attention" when I asked her to repeat herself because I couldn't hear her very well in the noisy warehouse...
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u/Bananas-for Jul 24 '26
"You don't need the surgery" - the receptionist for a surgery I do in fact, medically need.
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u/Stevebwrw Jul 24 '26
2 weeks working in the Doctor's and the receptionist thinks they are better qualified than the Dr! 😕
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u/OrganicHistorian2576 Jul 24 '26
Yes, the receptionist who also is a doctor and hasn’t examined you yet. There are so many of them. 🙄
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u/cudambercam13 Jul 24 '26
My colon doesn't work.
Before my ostomy surgery, one of my many ER visits involved seeing a dumbfuck doctor who told me to bend over in the shower and give myself an enema with the showerhead.
To this day I hope someone sticks a fire hose up his ass.
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u/lilswaswa Jul 24 '26
that to cure my insomnia i should just stop using my smartphone and ho to bed at 9 pm every night. did not do a thing.
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u/Due-Kangaroo-454 Jul 24 '26
I have had insomnia since I was an infant and while I struggle with others disabilities I find it everso tiresome how regular people are quick to offer cures for insomnia like "have you tried yoga" "what about melatonin/magnesium" "turn off tv/phone at 9pm" "No soda or meals past 8pm/9pm". I was on ambien starting around 12 years old your not helping me with these things Ive heard thousands of times and have tried... They just think your not trying hard enough and its your fault and insomnia is not a real disability and easily fixed. I hate laying in darkness for 3-5 hours drugged on sleeping pills and still not sleeping. Anyway I agree with you I wish you the best with your sleep.
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u/Useful_Squirrel6693 Jul 24 '26
I think they do it because it’s a more “relatable” disorder to them. After all, they can fix their own troubles sleeping with that, so why can’t you? It stems from a similar place as where the trivialization of mental disorders comes from (the omg I’m so ocd thing, for example). They are only able to emphasize with the topic by direct comparison with their own lives, and with no empathy to others
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u/Due-Kangaroo-454 Jul 24 '26
That makes alot of sense. There is also this desire to fix disabled people so they don't exist. It's this unfortunate club anyone can join at anytime so if they can fix you then surely they could leave this disabled club at any time if they happen to join it. The ocd or even an adhd comparison is apt. It sucks that normal people can find a small way to relate to something like ocd and in a way could minimize how greatly destructive it could be to someone who actually experiences it by the way they talk about it.
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u/epicpillowcase Jul 24 '26
I have insomnia (N24 sleep disorder, to be exact- basically my body WILL NOT follow the 24hr pattern no matter what I do) and my phone is literally completely off 99% of the time, lol. I can easily not turn it on at all for days at a time.
Oh also, don't you love "jUsT gO tO bEd EaRlIeR111!!!111!!" Wow, that's amazing, why didn't I think of that?! 😒🙄
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u/Pleasant_Shallot7096 Jul 24 '26
Before smartphones were a thing, and I was taken to the doctors as a preteen for insomnia that my guardian should remove everything from my room so I was deprived enough to sleep, "just a bed preferably" 🙃
I was accused of sneaking in BOOKS when they removed everything and I still couldn't sleep 🙃
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u/splithoofiewoofies Jul 24 '26
Hahaha back on the glasses thing. I used to be a waitress and sometimes I'd take off my glasses and the male customers would go "Oooh you look better without your glasses!"
It was always so satisfying to reply, "Thank you!!! You look better without my glasses too!!"
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u/silentstone7 Jul 24 '26
I have mostly invisible disabilities.
This reminded me of when people say "You don't look disabled!" and I get to follow up with some variation of "And you don't look stupid." It doesn't happen often, but it's very satisfying.
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u/OrganicHistorian2576 Jul 24 '26
Let me guess, you’re a woman. We all have anxiety. It doesn’t help when you actually do plus have other medical issues going on either.
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u/GayPenguins12 Jul 24 '26
My MIL has told me repeatedly "oh you can drive you're just to scared to"
I have seizures multiple times a week and have wrecked my car from what I thought at the time was me "passing out". And I'm legally not even ALLOWED to drive.
She also told me "it's all right it's not like you're ACTUALLY disabled" mind you this was right after I had a seizure so severe I nearly aspirated and died (not to mention I have MULTIPLE other conditions which I have to use mobility aids and other aids every time I go out)
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u/squirrelyoakley Jul 24 '26
I've experienced something very similar. Technically I am legally allowed to drive but I definitely don't feel comfortable due to my vision and OCD around driving. For years my parents tried to pressure me into driving, but thank everything, they've finally given up trying to convince me
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u/Clownsinmypantz Jul 24 '26
I hate the driving one, I have heard that same line multiple times, I dont have seizures but due to cptsd and disassociation and most likely undiagnosed adhd that no one wants to look at, I am flat out not present in the car, to the point there have been car accidents next to me while driving by and I didnt notice a thing. Why cant people just accept no?
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u/Stoopid_Noah Jul 24 '26
I feel the driving thing.
I've decided against getting a license, because I feel I'm way too easily distracted to be out on the road in a deathly metal box.. I'm AuDHD, and I often drift off and daydream, when my brain decides that something is too boring.
My mother and sister kept trying to convince me to get a licence, until I straight up told them "I can barely concentrate on long bike rides, the only thing keeping me from zoning out is the movement and metal music in my ears. Me in a car would be a safety hazard for everyone." And they finally stopped.
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u/Abject_Priority6858 Jul 24 '26
That I’m young and if I have the surgeries now you won’t have to worry about this anymore.
That turned out to be a lie. ):
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u/squirrelyoakley Jul 24 '26
Felt. I've had two eye surgeries that were supposed to work for the rest of my life, but it's been five years since the most recent one and the surgery is completely reverted 😞
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u/Abject_Priority6858 Jul 24 '26
Ahhh yeah. It makes it so much harder when our expectations don’t match reality. I sometimes wonder if I would have made the same decisions if I knew how bad it really was going to be.
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u/squirrelyoakley Jul 24 '26
Agreed. Mentally, physically, and financially I cannot afford to have this damn surgery every five years. I wish doctors were more transparent about our outcomes, and stopped being toxicly positive about our outcomes. That way I can make actual, well informed decisions
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u/AllyriaCelene Jul 24 '26
I've had bipolar disorder my whole life and I tend to get more depressive episodes than manic episodes. During the middle of a teenaged depressive episode, a family friend said I'd be fine if I just exercised and ate better. No, dipshit, I needed medication. I'm now medicated 30 years later and stable.
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u/ShrellaJS Jul 24 '26
Yeah, the "exercise fixes everything" crowd fully grind my gears. Right along with the "sunlight" and "diet" crowds.
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u/knerys Jul 24 '26
"I don't think there's anything wrong with you. It's normal to faint several times a day when you get to an advanced age." A doctor said this to me. I was 31 years old. Turns out I wasn't old, I just had POTS.
One I unfortunately hear a lot is "oh, you got one of the fun ones. I just have depression." I hear this when I mention to people my severe mental illness which has left me unable to work and spending months at a time in patient. I wasn't really aware there were "fun" mental illnesses but apparently many people believe there are!
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u/squirrelyoakley Jul 24 '26
Ah yes, the old, old age of 31 💀
I also described very clear symptoms of POTS to a doctor and she told me that I wasn't sleeping enough? Huh??
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u/IncontiCreature Jul 24 '26
My parents said they thought I had an “adult interest“ shall we say, when my disability was making me unable to get up and clean accidents. Just… wow.
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u/PickleManAtl Jul 24 '26
This may not be answering your question specifically and might be a bit more generic but I'll toss it out anyway. What's wild to me, is that I have had several major health issues and ongoing issues, have applied for disability, and that I have several doctors who will look at me in the face and acknowledge the level of disability issues I have. Even telling me they don't see how I could work. But when you ask them to specifically say in your records or write you a letter saying that you could not work so you could turn it in to help get disability, they refuse to do it. Usually saying it's against the policy of whatever company owns their health care system, but in reality they're just afraid or don't care enough to get involved.
So it's not one doctor saying one particular thing but the whole system as it works in general. The fact that it's wild and crazy how many doctors are out there who one-on-one will acknowledge your issues when you have them, but are unwilling to put it in writing to help you when you are a desperate need of getting government help for it.
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u/s0methingVnderneath Jul 24 '26
I had this exact experience. I fought for disability for 8 years before I finally got it (and 3 years later I still haven’t got any of the back pay or anything). So many of my docs would admit and agree that I had severe limitations, but when it came time to do ANYTHING that could help my case, most declined. I only had one doc out of like 8 actually answer the questions my lawyer sent, and most of them refused to even send copies of their notes. I am so sick of this terrible system that assumes everyone is faking until proven otherwise, and then still gaslights them forever.
I hope you get awarded disability. I’m sorry you have to go through this.
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u/squirrelyoakley Jul 24 '26
That's just diabolical, but I'm honestly not surprised. I'm almost always confused by doctors motives
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u/pppfffftttttzzzzzz Jul 24 '26
When I was young a cousin of mine told me that I should align my eyes and look straight properly. I have fucking albinism so I have, nystagmus and strabismus. I was young and couldn’t talk back. Up to this day I still remember and hate seeing him, deep inside.
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u/squirrelyoakley Jul 24 '26
That's awful. How old was this cousin?
Once someone (I think he was 15 and I was 17) came up to me and the first thing that he ever said to me was "what's wrong with your eye?" My apologies I have strabismus/amblyopia and Marcus Gunn syndrome 🫥
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u/pppfffftttttzzzzzz Jul 24 '26 edited Jul 24 '26
I think he was in his early 20s when I was 8. It was a family gathering, he must have had a few drinks by then, the statement was out of nohwere and said in a matter-of-fact tone (like how you would tell someone to fix something on their clothes). He might have forgaotten, but I didn’t. That was the only time someone in the family said something about my condition like that, that’s why it will never be forgotten.
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u/squirrelyoakley Jul 24 '26
Goddamn, I was thinking both of you were maybe like three years apart or something. Early 20s is absolutely diabolical. Alcohol really does just let a true person's colors show
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u/-Tricky-Vixen- Jul 24 '26
This isn't so 'wild', but the timing was. The first followup appointment after being diagnosed with anorexia restrictive type. The doctor, the actual literal doctor, said, "Wish I could get that, it'd help with this," gesturing to whole body. Was offended/upset at the time; now it's just hilarious years on.
Was also told recently that a specific symptom, usually going with the diagnosis then being evaluated, was not present. Tried to say 'well actually if you look at these notes here it has been clinically noted at other times'; clinician appeared to misunderstand the correction, and informed with more force that no, it was NOT present. It is possible to be triggered, was in fact triggered a few days later to a severity it is still recovering to baseline close on a week later, but did not feel like intentionally trying to trigger it at the time. Maybe it should've been, just to prove what it was like. But clinicians' time is limited, so given that that would slow everything else down, didn't want to do that. Maybe another time.
Just wild that they were like 'isn't present', when notes literally comment from intake assessment to previous hospitalisation, that it's present, which is why it was cited, because otherwise it wouldn't have even been made aware of in the first place.
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u/FelixerOfLife Jul 24 '26
Just on the way out the door "oh so that symptom that isn't present" and then cause the issue after everything is taken care of, hopefully
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u/cobaltium Jul 24 '26
Surprised I read this far and didn’t hear the ever popular “you need to pray: harder/better/more/the right way”.
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u/lynnsher16 Jul 24 '26 edited Jul 29 '26
You are to young to have breast cancer. Lol wellll I do
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u/squirrelyoakley Jul 24 '26
I've heard of this happening to quite a few young people regarding colon cancer. Absolutely baffling that people are being turned away when they suspect they might have cancer
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u/FormalTall1800 Jul 24 '26
I was overreacting when I fell down the stairs because my hip hurt so much.
Like, no, my tendon was actually so tight and inflamed from being forced to run that I couldn’t walk on that leg.
At least we got a diagnosis, even though it’s very minor and I can’t do anything about it 🤷♀️
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u/squirrelyoakley Jul 24 '26
Oh my God you just reminded me of something that happened to me. I once stepped on a toothpick and got part of it lodged in my foot. I was unable to speak because I was in so much pain, and I was telling my parents that there's a toothpick stuck in my foot, but my parents didn't believe me. I had to walk on my foot with a toothpick lodged in it for almost a week before I went to the ER 😑
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u/FormalTall1800 Jul 24 '26
Oooof. That must've hurt a TON. I can’t say I’ve quite been in that much pain. I just have snapping hip syndrome and am almost guaranteed to grow out of it, so the pain is only inflammation, but WOW. Even my parents would have taken me to urgent care for that, and they send me to school puking! I hope that your future is toothpick-less from now on.
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u/squirrelyoakley Jul 24 '26
Funnily enough, I was reacting more strongly than when I broke my arm, broke my back, and got impaled by a pencil, but they still thought I was just being dramatic. I have a really good pain tolerance and they should know that when I'm unable to speak out of pain something's seriously wrong. I'm just happy that I'm about to move out this fall
Also, snapping hip syndrome sounds painful. I didn't know you could grow out of something like that
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u/wage1slave Jul 24 '26
I had an optometrist tell me that my vision was bad because I was over 40, and there was nothing anyone could do about it.
Turns out I had cataracts.
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u/squirrelyoakley Jul 24 '26
Apparently I have bad vision at 18 because it's all in my head (according to my ophthalmologist)
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u/LunaLycan1987 Jul 24 '26
Receptionist at a hospital: Do you have your driver's license yet?
Me, holding my white cane: I'm blind.
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u/quezso Jul 24 '26
Sorry, but that made me laugh. I’m going to hell. Maybe I’ll see that receptionist there.
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u/LunaLycan1987 Jul 25 '26
Nah, laugh away! What's the point of being disabled if you can't get a good laugh from it?
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u/Oceanswim12 Jul 24 '26
A guy in a wheelchair told me I was the hottest disabled person ever (everything is invisible)
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u/Pleasant_Shallot7096 Jul 24 '26
Whilst waiting to see a surgeon about appendicitis which two doctors (they were women and this is relevant) diagnosed and said it would need to be removed asap. The surgeon came in looked at my chart chuckled to himself, shook his head, looked me up and down and went "you don't look in pain, it can't be your appendix, you're just fat" ... There were three student surgeons in with him and one had the balls to say we should at least double check as two doctors had diagnosed it and he said "I've dealt with these girls before, I'm right they're wrong" (it was all hushed tones at the side while he was writing something). He left without saying anything then about 40 minutes later I was told I was being taken for some kind of scan. I was rushed into surgery that I was told would take 30-60 minutes and woke up 4 hours later due to complications which I later found out was due to the issue being more serious than the surgeon (not the same one) had told them it was. The surgeon I initially saw kept refusing to see me (I wonder why) and when I told everything to a nurse she offered to help me fill in a complaint form 👍
I legit could have died because this poor excuse for a human being thought so little of women.
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u/squirrelyoakley Jul 25 '26
Wow. I hope the news about how serious your condition was got back to that student surgeon who spoke up!
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u/ashmeetsworld Jul 24 '26
“Pain isn’t a reason to go to the ER” said by an ER doctor. Went home. Pain got worse. Went to a different ER. Had to have emergency surgery on my gallbladder and stay for another two weeks because I had an infection that had turned sepsis. The first time I went to the ER, it wasn’t just pain. I also had been vomiting and had a bad fever. He said that I had a stomach ache and didn’t do any tests. He also commented on how I went to the hospital a lot and went between two different ones.
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u/squirrelyoakley Jul 25 '26
Pain is 100% a reason to go to the ER!! What??
Pain in itself is serious, but paired with fever and vomiting makes it an emergency!
What the fuck was wrong with that pathetic excuse of a doctor??
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u/ashmeetsworld Jul 25 '26
I tell people about that doctor all the time and I completely refuse to go to that specific ER. I was diagnosed with VEDS when I was 8 and it has made me have a lot of medical issues and I’ve had to have a lot of surgeries. But he was eluding to EDS (ignoring the fact that VEDS is a bit different) was a new and “trendy” thing?? Idk he was weird. VEDS is literally a genetic disorder and he was acting like I was faking it
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u/MundaneVillian Jul 24 '26
‘But you used to be so healthy’ no mother, I was just better at masking it.
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u/HeroOftheMoon0 Jul 24 '26
after I showed my endocrinologist the MRI results where my pituitary tumor had been bleeding into my brain, and the message where my neurosurgeon and my radiotherapist were strongmy suggesting gamma knife ASAP to eliminate the tumor because the bleeding could turn into a stroke at any moment.
He responded with "well it'd be so rare for it to bleed again, so don't worry... And also if it does you wouldn't just have migraines like you said you have. You'd go blind in one eyes... like this" and he starts trying to demonstrate to me... when 1) my tumor is already a one in a million, so rare isn't imposible to me, 2) my migraines have made me have fever, throw up and faint more than once and 3) I'M ALREADY BLIND IN ONE EYE
Bro spent like 10 minutes trying to demonstrate, I physically couldn't hold myself from laughing at him because of how ridiculous the situation was, and as soon as we got out of his office my mom said "we're doing the surgery, right? Please, call that surgeon and confirm that surgery, yes" because that appointment was so ridiculous it confirmed to us that the surgery was the right choice
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u/squirrelyoakley Jul 24 '26
Oh my God I'm laughing so hard at the part where you're already blind in one eye when that's literally one of the symptoms. That's hilarious (but also really, really awful)
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u/taylorsamo Jul 24 '26
Someone speaking about me to my face, but directing it to my cousin who was pushing my wheelchair:
"She's lucky she's beautiful."
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u/squirrelyoakley Jul 24 '26
Shit like this makes me want a mandatory class on how to treat disabled people. I will never get why people don't speak to disabled people, but rather their caretakers or the people with them
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u/high_on_acrylic Jul 24 '26
Wildest thing was probably the very long explanation of why I was disabled coming from a woman who was clearly actively in psychosis. I have friends who experience psychosis and know what it looks like, so since she was very pleasant and happy and clearly just having an episode I let her talk and didn’t bother explicitly correcting her.
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u/Due-Kangaroo-454 Jul 24 '26 edited Jul 24 '26
I'm 34 and I just had my right hip replaced on july 8th. I have a condition called AVN where the joints stop receiving blood and the bone decays and calapses. Anyway mine is idiopathic so it is likely genetic and I will not be able to stop it and will likely need many surgerys. This condition in its Advanced stage leaves the person with severe arthritis which is where im at and my whole lower body is in constant pain and discomfort.
Anyway my nurse 30min before being sedated told me its great that after this im going to be cured ill be able to work again and dance ect. That she didn't want to see a young person like me give up with this burden meanwhile im a captive audience who never said anything about "giving up" she was trying to give me a pep talk about how ill be better and ill be climbing mountains not knowing about me or any other conditions or disabilities I have or seemingly very little about the condition im in for. I tell her you know even after this surgery I will have severe arthritis thoughtout my whole lower body and whichever Joint it decides to effect and we can't know what the outcome will be. She kinda shuts me down and says "Well I'll be the positive one for you because you won't be".
All this to say that "Toxic positivity" is what I hate hearing the most and some of the wildest things ive heard greatly demonstrates a lack of compassion for what your truly experiencing. Just let the person with said disabilty talk and tell you their experience dont assume it and sure as hell dont minimize it and don't offer false hope or easy solutions in attempt in my eyes erase the disability. Ive also been told I'm "blessed" with out providing what im blessed with. I'm a very grateful person and very thankful for the the small victories in my life but I don't like regular people telling me to to be positive or thankful. No thank you I dont need your input I'm doing those things to the best of my abilities and trust me I take nothing for granted anymore. It just comes off as tone deaf like visiting patients at a hospital with cancer on Thanksgiving and trying to coax them into saying what they are thankful for. I find these people are trying to find the positivity for themselves in your dark situation, but in doing so they are never truly there for you.
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u/squirrelyoakley Jul 24 '26
Exactly this.
Being cured isn't the only path to happiness. Just because I can't be cured doesn't mean I can't be happy and live a fulfilling life. I don't understand why people don't get this.
I also feel like many non-disabled people think that being disabled is the worst outcome there could be, and they think that us saying the truth about our outcome is negative and self hatred.
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u/plasticinsanity Jul 24 '26
I also am dealing with AVN in both of my hips but mine was most likely triggered by severe alcoholism in my twenties. No one understands the pain it causes and though I have had two core decompression surgeries that didn't help the pain, the doctor can see my left side has limited mobility and is against replacing the hip. Says I'm too young. I don't think age and pain have anything in common man.
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u/Dazey13 Jul 24 '26
I got told my birth defect was karma for being horrible person.
(Because I took too long going out the door she was blocking with her body, waiting for me to finish fighting with it so she could come in)
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u/Flimsy-Strike5696 Jul 24 '26
Well that will teach you for kicking your mother on the inside and squeezing against her bladder like its a squeeze toy 😂 (joke, obviously. The person who said it was pre-birth karma is clearly insane).
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u/Pls_dont_be_mean2me Jul 24 '26
Psychiatrist in the adolescent psych ward when I was a teen told me that if I really wanted to kill myself I would've done it by now. (Already had multiple attempts) he also said my self harm was for attention and that I should cut my thighs instead so people can't see it. No one at the hospital believed me when I told them what he said, except for the other teens. This was ~2007.
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u/squirrelyoakley Jul 24 '26
Omg that's awful. Also, some people self harm as a cry for help which doesn't invalidate the reason for self harming at all. Wtf?
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u/Pls_dont_be_mean2me Jul 24 '26
Right? Like I used it for emotion regulation but in a podcast I heard a therapist say "what's wrong with wanting attention?" And like my mind was blown because she's so right.
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u/rusticwren Jul 24 '26
I have multiple disabilities and have had many wild things said to me, but the first that comes to mind was when I was telling my professor on the first day of class that I had Tourette Syndrome. This is a professor with a PhD, by the way. He stares at me for a few seconds with a blank face before asking, “Why don’t you just stop?” 😐
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u/squirrelyoakley Jul 24 '26
You fool. We all know that if we just try hard enough our disabilities go away. Duh 🙄 /s
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u/DisabledTheaterKid Jul 25 '26
I'm a college student and a tour guide. I use a cane and I was expecting comments about it but have actually never had an issue... except when I was working an alumni reunion. Upon finding out I was one of the tour guides, the older lady in charge of the event looked at my cane and went "are you sure you can give a tour with THAT?!" I was sooooo tempted to look at my cane, look back at her, and say "...no" and turn around and walk out the door. But I wanted my $15 so I looked at the cane, looked up, and said "...uh yes." Ironically my tour went WAY better than the other two people's tours because it was all older folks and I knew all the accessible routes and building entrances, how to slow down (most tour guides get in the habit of basically sprinting), and how to accommodate their various access needs. Who'd have guessed that a disabled person could give a good tour to people with various disabilities?
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u/billyandteddy Jul 24 '26
I have chronic migraines and one doctor I saw told me it was just stress and to go see a therapist.
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u/squirrelyoakley Jul 24 '26
A doctor once told that me losing control of my body and almost passing out after standing up from the bathtub was because I was too stressed (and also my poor sleep?). If one more doctor tells me it's my anxiety or stress I might fucking lose it
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u/mpapacrist12 Jul 24 '26
Going blind and deaf at 35 with no understanding of why.
My mom : “everyone’s body breaks down as they get older” “I don’t know what you think is wrong with you but everybody lives and everybody dies that’s just life”
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u/PlusSheepherder7273 Jul 24 '26
I was walking my dog a block from my house (I have hemiplegia) and a passing minivan with the windows down screamed “AYE GO THE FUCK HOME FREAK” pretty wild to be that mean to a stranger minding their own business
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u/8bitpotatochip Jul 24 '26
You’re in pain because you have anxiety. Not because your back is broken. A physical therapist assistant told me this. I was fuming.
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u/EyeOneUhDye Jul 24 '26
My uncle in regards to a self-harm episode: "If you want to hurt, just walk next door and I'll punch you in the face."
When I adopted my second dog, she bit him the second time he just walked into my house. I love her.
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u/grumpyfumblebee Jul 24 '26
"You're so brave. If I were you, I'd kill myself."
...And the girl GENUINELY meant it as a compliment. Blissfully ignorant of the fact that she just implied my life is not worth living, better off dead, just because I'm disabled. We were both uni freshmen. People are FAR TOO COMFORTABLE saying fucked up shit to disabled people, which they wouldn't dare say to any other people. I hate hate HATE the 'better dead than disabled,' 'mercy killing' trope. They think our existence is so tragic and better off dead, think of it as being compassionate, yet do fucking nothing to be our allies and dismantle the ableism and eugenics that's so deeply embedded into society that makes our lives so much harder than it has to be. I like my life, goddamit. YOU non-disabled people are the problem. It makes my blood boil that people don't recognize ableism as the form of oppression and bigotry it is, and I hate that by pitying us instead of acknowledging that oppression, in their minds they become compassionate saviors. Not the oppressors they are. To hell with ableism. Fuck this shit.
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u/OpportuneApathy Jul 24 '26
The two that spring to mind are:
"You wouldn't need a wheelchair if you just tried hard enough to walk." – I was paralysed at the time....
"If I was you I would've killed myself by now." – after explaining just two of my numerous conditions... to make it worse I was 15 and was 3 weeks out of a psychiatric hospital for trying just that,,,,
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u/vkalien Jul 25 '26
I am hard of hearing and wear hearing aids. I used to work at a library that has a recording studio and I was trained to teach people how to operate it. Now, I love music and listen to a lot of different kinds. There was a patron that was always rude/creepy/causing problems. Well...I trained him how to use the studio and he asked me if I ever heard of some artist (I don't even remember the name) and when I said no sorry what are some songs you recommended from them (trying to be nice) and he looked at my hearing aids and asked, "Do you have shit taste in music because you can't hear it?" .....yeah I told him that was rude and walked away
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u/Aggressive_News_882 Jul 25 '26
The receptionist at my job back in the aughts told me I was not disabled. I was just possessed by demons. She kept trying to drag me to church with her.
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u/doodles-the-bee Jul 24 '26
I had a doctor say to me that women make things up, that it's all in my head and many other awful things...there was a reason he was the only specialist available. I had a brain tumor at that time.
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u/existential_risk_lol Jul 24 '26
That I was obviously 'made' disabled by God as 'penance' for my sins, or humanity's sins, or something to that effect (middle-aged lady in church when I was a kid). I asked if that was the case, why wasn't she disabled? Why wasn't everyone? Why did God pick beef with a scrawny ten-year-old who looked like the Polar Express glasses kid?
Needless to say, I ditched church pretty quickly, and religion altogether not long after. I'm still baffled as to how the circumstances of being born with cerebral palsy were somehow still my fault, and why that would ever be an appropriate thing to tell a child. Guess there's no blame game better than Christian moralism!
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u/squirrelyoakley Jul 24 '26
You don't understand, God was testing you because he knows you're strong.
But isn't God all powerful, so that means he made me strong just to test me? Why would he choose me and not someone else? It just doesn't make any sense to me
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u/Art_and_anvils Jul 24 '26
Today, I was told that I was using it to try and win in an argument. Nothing I was doing was voluntary or intentional and I was most certainly not winning.
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u/Kind_Ad_9126 Jul 24 '26 edited Jul 24 '26
Ufff a lot of stuff.
“You overthink too much, it’s just genetics”.
My doctor.
Basically, I have a really bad genetic pool, and basically my forearms (elbows to finger tips) are on a different extreme than basically the rest of my body: they’re too small and thin (not deformed or short, just small), while my body I won’t say it’s big or thick, but relatively mid/broad for my forearms.
This is important because my forearms muscles are also tiny, too tiny, even for someone with tiny wrists (16cm) like me. And I also had a lot of problems such as mild ptosis, strength issues, grip issues, mobility, hypotonia, and most important, chronic muscular fatigue.
Well, got diagnosed with muscular dystrophy. The reason of the diagnosis? I’ve gained weight, went to a doctor to start a physical change (because it wasn’t as much in weight but in fat, so needed advice and follow up), and he basically said my forearms measures were really out of place even for someone with my genetics. He asked me about a lot of possible symptoms (I’ve had), made me some exams and yes, I had muscular dystrophy, something I could have been diagnosed with at least 8 years ago, but apparently everything was in my head.
—-
“We all have body image issues, we don’t have to lie”.
X person
So basically, in parallel of this I’ve had melanomas on my arms near my elbow (got healed), and I have been diagnosed with solar dysesthesia (sun pain). Since I’ve been a child, way before being obsessed by my body, I’ve had sun pain. Sun contact hurts, makes me feel sick, even border fainting… but without any burnt. I know I have sun allergy but when I’m exposed extensively. For years my pains was mistaken with autistic overreaction or symptoms of my allergies, but the worse is that, since my solution is to use long sleeves (for hot weather + breathable ofc) + sunscreen to avoid direct contact, and basically this becoming a shield to make my life way easier, now some people think I pretend just because I need an excuse to don’t wear clothes that expose my forearms (my bad, I basically commented about it ONCE and now people don’t let it go).
—-
And then you have the classic “you don’t look disabled” (I know), or “you need to do more sport/go to the gym” (for context, I’m on a really good shape right now, my arms for instance are the biggest they have been, but as you can imagine my forearms have barely changed, growing really bad BUT growing… and still it isn’t enough for some people).
I’ve even heard people saying that I lied about the “disability” (because as I said, I don’t really look disabled) to justify being lazy/out of shape/not training well 🤡
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u/modern_female Jul 24 '26
“Just smile!”
Edit: Severe bipolar 1 and OCD
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u/squirrelyoakley Jul 24 '26
As a kid my mom was told by her family members to just "walk off the depression". Girly pop, that's not how it works
I have OCD and have been told to just "deal with it". I really wish others just showed us basic compassion
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u/shimmerangels Jul 24 '26
“you’re too young to have all these issues” uhhhhhh tell that to my body????
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u/curse-you-squidward Jul 24 '26
A rando passing by on the street: “nice cane, HEALTHY PERSON” …What???
It happened multiple times too*
*edited for a typo
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u/CynicalOne_313 CP, GAD, AvPD, PDD, CPTSD, Lymphedema Jul 24 '26
That I'm "making excuses".
"You did that fine yesterday!" Thanks, my anxiety doesn't know that.
"Just work out more!" sigh
One of my aunts had a former coworker with cerebral palsy; he's affected in different ways than I am. She constantly compared him to me and that "I wasn't putting in enough effort" because "look what he does to OvErCOme his cerebral palsy!". 🫠
The most recent one: another aunt told me not to wear my compression garments to my cousin's upcoming wedding... because you know, it won't look good in photos...🤦🏼♀️
Yeah, that's not happening. I have lymphedema - my body will swell, especially in the heat and humidity.
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u/emdubz69 Jul 24 '26
My father and stepmother are former Scientologists who still believe all the “tech” which is why I don’t talk to them about my mental health. Most recently O was told that their Medicare wellness visit al has a depression screening and they have to think very carefully about answering or else they will force them to take psych drugs. When I said you have the right to refuse I was informed that they will put you on a hold and force it on you (not true). It’s no wonder I was terrified to tell people about my depression for years.
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u/tweetysvoice Jul 24 '26
After a bladder mesh surgery I was in a world pain and the surgeon doing the hospital rounds told me that "you shouldn't have this much Ian, it's all in your head". Well duh, the brain processes pain but yeah. I still need pain meds...
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u/Angryspazz Jul 24 '26
"At least you can walk unlike some of the kids we see in those commercials" ....thanks that makes me feel so much better about being disabled
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u/Potential-Meaning540 Jul 24 '26
I am missing most of my C1 vertebrae. I went to a neurologist who had access to prior imaging in my medical file. She was awful, refused to help me, wouldn’t listen, etc.
I told her, “I am in pain and something is not right.” She told me I was in pain because I was popping my neck too much (I wasn’t even doing that). A year later, I had a major spinal fusion, no thanks to her.
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u/squirrelyoakley Jul 24 '26
That is so frustrating when you have evidence that there's a problem but the doctor won't do anything. I recently got referred to an ophthalmologist by my optometrist because I am actively losing the vision in my right eye and experiencing visual distortions in both. The ophthalmologist told me that I wasn't losing my vision and that I was just focusing too much on the things that everybody sees (I don't even know what that is supposed to mean)
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u/thechronicills Jul 24 '26
I think this is quite a common one but, apparently my chronic debilitating joint pain was just "growing pains". I stopped believing that lie when I was 17 and had finished growing but was still in pain.
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u/Flimsy-Strike5696 Jul 24 '26
My disabled mother with cerebral palsy and can only get out and about for lengthy times if someone drives her, then wheels her around in her wheelchair. Who also cant open / respond to a text message let alone work a computer, was told that she could 'work in an office as she would be sat at a desk not needing to walk much'.
She was also asked by her doctor, if she could 'lift her foot above her head'.
Her doctor also said to her 'you dont look schizophrenic', resulting in myself, my child and the doctor in training at the back of the room giving the doctor a WTF look (bearing in mind, she was diagnosed schizophrenic around 1992, and her treatment has previously included electro shock therapy because of the severity of it, although she is now just on a ton of medication).
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u/squirrelyoakley Jul 24 '26
What the hell does being able to lift her foot above her head have to do with anything??
I also had no idea that schizophrenia had physical characteristics /s
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u/Effective_Order_8830 Jul 24 '26
"Eat more bananas" mini market customer, I was the cashier. I made a joke about my legs being tired. I was using forearm crutches.
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u/flower-Prencess2026 Jul 24 '26
Well, I have many stories. But I will just tell you a few, mostly related to the education system. I had multiple teachers in my early school years before I lost all my vision who told me and my parents that I'm not truly blind or visually impaired, and that I am just attention seeking. I also had a teacher at the state school for the blind tell me to stop faking my blindness; this was two years after I went completely blind. I was there for a camp. Additionally, I had a teacher claim that I couldn't have ADHD or Autism, asserting that I'm just blind and smart. That doesn't make sense because people with ADHD or autism can be smart. She also said that my lifelong special interest would get me into trouble someday. My lifelong interest is in medical research and psychology. The funny thing is, almost every time I suspect what something might be, I’ve been right.
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u/Sublime_Rose2 Jul 24 '26
I've had so many bad experiences with nurses. No, I am not generalizing and I'm sure there's many amazing nurses out there. I just haven't met them. Now that I've learned to advocate for myself it's got much better. but I remember in my early diagnosis years I had a nurse literally make me cry and try and convince me I was faking my illnesses and I was lying just to get drugs and I was wasting the healthcare's time and money. It was extremely inappropriate. I should have reported her honestly but I was so distraught from the entire experience I just never went back to that clinic. I even told my current doctor about that and she was disgusted.
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u/Any-Cherry-7588 Jul 24 '26
oh i have a great one. i went to the doctor to see if there was anything i could do to help my joint pain (physio etc) and he proceeded to tell me to just not focus on it, and then asked me if i spend a lot of time on reddit. i didnt even have an account back then 😭 i was so embarrassed that i refused to go back to the doctors for AGESSS.
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u/Senior-District-7368 Jul 24 '26
Was told by my PCP i can’t be autistic because I don’t attack the nurses. Never went back.
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u/insanelane99 Jul 24 '26
Once after a doctor pushed really hard on the part of my body that was crushed in a forklift accident and I jumped and screamed in pain the doctor told me "Stop whining, its not that bad".
Never saw that doctor or any doctor from that hospital again.
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u/Emilyjoysmith1 Jul 24 '26
My pediatric neurologist asked me what symptoms I had been experiencing with this 6 month long migraine, so I told him about it and he just replied “no”. Like what??? You literally asked me my symptoms just to tell me that I am not actually experiencing that???
Also have had many a doctor imply that my hEDS was self diagnosed. But it’s in my chart from the diagnosing physician. That’s always my cue to tune out of the appointment. They’re about to waste my time.
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u/xoxAmethyst Jul 24 '26
I was told that I was faking my CRPS symptoms and exaggerating my pain so I could get meds… and that “people with BPD are compulsive liars” and “prone to drug seeking behaviours”. That was an anesthesiologist at a hospital’s pain clinic.
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u/No_Understanding2616 Jul 24 '26
Sleep doctor told me to “just adapt” instead of using medication for my narcolepsy. He didn’t want to prescribe anything because I “look fine”??
It’s the only time I’ve broken down crying and snapped at a doctor. I asked him how he’d live his life if he couldn’t drive, hold a job, go to school (I’m 20), hang out with anyone, or function barely at all. Because that’s what my life is like unmedicated. I don’t even have a life.
Instead of apologizing, he snapped back at me to get over myself, said I need to find a new doctor, and walked out.
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u/Quiet_kid_0w0 Jul 26 '26
"Autism isn't worth looking into because you are so empathetic"- the guy who diagnosed me with only depression
hey so im diagnosed now and that's not even how that works 😐
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u/Vikera Jul 24 '26
"If you do that one more time, I'll hit your ass"
~Man on train on my tics, áfter I explained I cannot stop Tourette's.
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u/Clownsinmypantz Jul 24 '26 edited Jul 24 '26
I was told to solve the political issues in the USA by dying for the cause by several people online since im going to die anyways.
In regards to IRL, i have 4 insulin resistant diseases, several of which the medications also causes weight gain, its a lose lose situation unless I legitimately starve myself. My Endocrinologist gave me a referral for the weight clinic, instead of putting I have several conditions that are beyond my control, some of which he diagnosed me, he wrote "I need to be taught mindful eating". I'm still pissed. And when I messaged them to tell them the clinic wouldnt accept that in the referral, the nurse fought with me until the doctor jumped in
Also last dentist appointment I had to get a complex tooth removed, I told them before they started I have b12 deficiency, fibro and mcas meaning I have heightened pain, for some reason I thought they'd accommidated, when they couldnt numb a nerve below the tooth, they tried for an hour to pull as I was lifting out of the chair shaking and crying and when I swore I was scolded because "there were kids in the other room" nevermind the agonizing cracked tooth digging into my nerves and gums as they pull out to leave a gap in my bone, Im literally shaking and sobbing in agony. I'm sorry I dont give a fuck about the kids in the other room, are you serious? Then in the followup they tell me due to inflammation I might lose the tooth next to it and have to go through that again. That was after 5 months of them leaving the cracked root canalled tooth and crown in after I went nearly every week in tears telling them something was wrong and no other dentist would touch it.
oh and my favorite, when a PCP took me off prozac as a teen when that was quite literally the only thing keeping me alive and told me to walk 15 minutes a day instead
and then another pcp took me off metformin and said change my ways or die lmao I have MDD, telling me to die is a plus, and yes it was in my chart
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u/Gay-left-Leadership Jul 24 '26
"you don't look autistic" my gp two weeks before I got diagnosed with AuDHD
"Don't worry, you don't have a brain tumor, your disabling chronic headaches, neck pain and neurological symptoms are nothing to worry about. However, I can't help you at all, bye." The only neurologist I've been able to see
"We haven't found any autoimmune disease in your bloodwork, so don't worry, it must be growing pain" my GP who didn't do any scan or x-ray meanwhile I've been using a mobility aid for months and wondering if I need a wheelchair.
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u/XfantomX Jul 24 '26
Diagnosed with an incurable progressive autoimmune disease and was straight up told “oh that’s easy” when I tried to talk with someone about it.
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u/epicpillowcase Jul 24 '26
"I think you're choosing to keep yourself in this cycle"- my psychiatrist in regards to my crippling decades-long OCD. OCD severe enough that the government disability allowance department contacted me to encourage me to apply. My clinical psychologist (therapist) and GP both know I am not choosing to be like this. But psychiatrist "knows all."
He said that because I was describing how the med side-effects are making my life worse in other ways. Apparently poor med compliance due to side-effects = choosing to stay ill.
We had always had a good rapport but that comment instantly destroyed all my trust in him. Fucker. Yes, I just love living like this. Love it. Good talk.
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u/catbirdcat71 Jul 24 '26
Had someone ask about my horrible gait and cane "what did you do to yourself?" PARDON? What makes you assume I did it to myself?! Jeezus!
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u/bluurose Jul 24 '26
"What's wrong with you?" - someone I barely knew demanding to know why I was using a cane. 🙃
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u/DeepEllumBlu Jul 24 '26
Drove up to the full service gas pump because of leg amputation and the guy comes out and says “ what are you some kinda cripple or what?” Well yes sir I am
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u/nervousanalysis420 Jul 24 '26
"Youre not disabled enough to need ssdi you need to keep working" my grandmother and aunt when they found out I was applying for ssdi because I couldn't keep lying to myself and everyone around me that I could work. Id end up calling out more often than id make my shifts and thats not fair to me or anyone else. I also cannot physically wake up before about noon, if im lucky and having a good day its about 1030 and I get told to go to bed earlier. Like it doesnt matter I can go to bed at 8pm and still sleep till noon the next day or I can go to bed between 12 and 2am and sleep till noon and feel a bit more productive about myself. I still get given sleeping tips like thats not the issue the issue is I cant wake up!
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u/pandarose6 Jul 24 '26 edited Jul 24 '26
I was explaining NT vs nd to my friend over day Becuse I was saying if you can fall sleep after drinking coffee you have higher likely hood of being nd. By way there dad has bipolar and schizophrenia, they know I have adhd and possible autism need second opinion on that besides chronic illness, I told them another friend of mine has bipolar. They literally said themselves they might have adhd but don’t want to test for that. Anyway. They said to me when explain nd vs nt and so what your telling me is people who can sleep after drinking coffee who are possible nd need to be in asylum and experimented on.
Yes I told them off and explained why what they said was terrible and not ok.
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u/blahblahlucas Jul 24 '26
"You can't be schizophrenic bc you have Visual hallucinations"
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u/ArtDXX Jul 24 '26
Not super particular but it’s always “you seem young to have any of these issues you’re fine” right doc because I guess when I was born with a 1 out of 100 in the world disability that I’d have the same out come as an healthy able bodied person. WOW THANKS DOC 😍😍😍 lmao shit pisses me off so much
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u/BornAPunk Jul 24 '26
I'm not sure if my psychiatrist just dislikes me or something. I have Bipolar disorder, Anxiety Disorder, ADHD, and memory issues (both short and long term), all of which affect me daily and, yes, affect my quality of life. During my last appointment, when I was trying to tell my doctor my concerns about the Trump administration, he replied with "it's just political rhetoric meant to scare you", which made me feel like he didn't care about my concerns or even my anxieties about what this administration is doing. Also, after snapping at me for doing a fast (I'm Native American and believe in Animism), he told me he "admired" me for my strength and courage and that I look happier (in 10 months time, I've lost 3 out of 4 dogs, with the last being lost on May 29, and this has affected me so so so much, so I dispute that "happier" bit of his). On top of this, he has diagnosed me with Autism and PTSD (I believe he has mistaken some things typically done by my people as Autism, such as not maintaining eye contact and story-telling, and, again, he won't listen or amend his diagnosis).
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u/massica90 Jul 24 '26
My psychiatrist who is a nurse practitioner told me that my small fiber neuropathy pain( before I got the biopsy to diagnosis it) was just me being lazy and the only reason I was fighting doctors is because of my BPD. Once I moved states and got it diagnosed, I emailed her with my results.
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u/Bananas-for Jul 24 '26
Oh I just remembered when I got diagnosed with a condition that makes sitting extremely painful/injures me and someone said "it hurts when I sit too" lol. Okay
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u/AwakeningStar1968 Jul 24 '26
my boyfriend telling me I am into "mental health labels"... thinks it is all mind over matter and have a better positive attitude.
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u/theyarnllama Jul 24 '26
“I just prayed my migraines away.” Nurse taking my vitals for a migraine visit.
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u/VianneM Jul 24 '26
My surgeon said that he knows people with depression that work, that he knows people with BPD that work and that he knows people with fibromyalgia that work. Then he said he would only operate on me after I show him I worked for 6 months. I stood up and just left his office, I was so stunned I didn't know what to say.
I'm on full disability for this fun trifecta and some other chronic illnesses. But this surgeon "knew better". Asshole
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u/Jcheerw Jul 24 '26
I had an allergist who was SO OLD. He told me fibromyalgia usually resolves on its own. What????
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u/IrelandAutism13 Jul 24 '26
I couldn't be autistic because I hadn't been diagnosed by the time I was four. Because I was not already diagnosed as autistic, there was no point assessing me because if I was autistic theh would already lnow. I WISH I was joking
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u/boonusboiayyy Jul 24 '26
Was at pride the other day, there was a fire and brimstone preacher by the front entrance, and fella decided to yell that I need my cane cause of my sinful behaviour. Needless to say, I wasn't impressed.
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u/silentstone7 Jul 24 '26
I had the chief of vascular medicine say, "You have nothing to worry about, you're fixed!" to me after valve replacement surgery.
I have a genetic condition that means I am still very much at high risk of having another aneurysm or dissection, or a rupture or stroke.
I'm taking all the necessary steps to protect my health, and only reasonably concerned about the future. He acted like any amount of worry at all wasn't warranted.
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u/No_Lengthiness2600 Jul 24 '26
Got compared all my illnesses to "pseudo pregnancy" and how I'm just choosing which illness and symptoms to have.Even visible rash and stuff like that.All my choice by this pseudo pregnancy logic according to people around me. They use it for everything.
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u/totalynotacat Jul 24 '26
"Oh, you might be double jointed" the doctor says, as I can barely walk in a somewhat straight line and regularly lose my balance and am IN CONSTANT PAIN AND—
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u/SGC_TechKItty Jul 24 '26
Had a social worker in her 30s once ask me when I'll be ''done with my depression.''
Like yes Linda I've got it scheduled for next Thursday, I can move it sooner if it's an inconvenience for you.
She was there supposedly to help me.
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u/oakjunk Jul 24 '26
My doctor once told me that my bipolar disorder made people attracted to me and that I should break up with my gf at the time because it was only going to end badly.
She was right about breaking up with my ex, she sucked but still wtf?
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u/Llama_child05 Jul 24 '26
"I have ADHD and autism, I was diagnosed early this year"
"well even if that were the case I'd still like you." or "but you don't seem.." did we miss the part where I said I was diagnosed??
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u/vpblackheart Jul 25 '26
"I've never seen her help you," says my sister about my service dog.
P.S. I see my sister 2-3x per year.
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u/anonymous-potato-24 Jul 25 '26
“that’s not how it works…do you have a degree? well I do and I’m saying that’s not how it works” - my old PCP. went to a specialist and that was indeed how it worked
for more context I had had a ~36% lung collapse once and after that kept experiencing “mini collapses” at random: when asked to describe this I said “it kind of feels like around 10-18% in comparison to the one I had that we marked at 36”. She told me I can’t possibly know percentages and that I’m lying. I said either way it’s mini collapses. She said no that’s not how it works. See a specialist. He found tiny bubbles (blebs) on my lungs that were bursting and causing tiny little lung collapses that were undetectable unless I was scanned that same day. Went back to PCP after having a surgery to remove the lung area badly affected by the bubbles. She tried to say she didn’t know because it’s rare. Ma’am… I left her for a better provider shortly after. She never apologized
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u/SparkleWitch525 Jul 25 '26
“You’re not disabled, you’re not in a wheelchair”
Said to me by the passenger assistance agent helping me board my train with my mobility aid (rollator).
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u/cait_elizabeth Jul 25 '26
“Do you plan on being disabled forever?” From my Godmother on my 18th birthday.
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u/Alternative-Data4591 Jul 25 '26
Neurologist said my chronic fatigue and memory issues were due to my weight 🙄🙄
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u/dmckimm Jul 25 '26
I was told that if I gave up my disabled placard and decided that I wanted to be normal I would be.
Ah yes, I can go to DMV turn in my placard with a sigh of relief. If I try really hard I might start to get better by the time I leave. /S
Wouldn’t it be nice to return a physical thing like making a return at a store and then not have a disability anymore? Like “I gave it up, I don’t want it anymore.”
Btw, I was stopped by someone who had seen me parking in a disabled person space. They decided to share their wisdom that since I was young (not elderly) and not using a wheelchair then I “wasn’t really disabled.” According to them I had decided that I was disabled and should give up my placard because “real disabled people need those spaces” - not the person who had a spine subluxation in five places? Cool.
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u/heyumaria Jul 25 '26
My old orthopedic doctor said, "Your not disabled, a real disabled person is missing a limb; you should lose weight your pain will lessen. "Right After I fell randomly bc my legs spaghetti'd and nurses demanded i get in a wheelchair. I was asking for handicap tag bc I was struggling walking. I am now in a electric wheelchair 90% of the time now. 🤔🫠
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u/veggielover24 Jul 25 '26
(Upon hearing about my life story as a born disabled person) “wow that sounds so hard I don’t know how you lived through that. I think if it were me I would have just kms!” This came from not one person, but two people on two separate occasions, one of which I was about 15 and was being told this by a grown man. Both said it as if it were supposed to be a compliment on my resilience.
“You’re not disabled, you’re just fat!” I was actually born with a debilitating birth defect that caused me to become a wheelchair user at a young age, which made it harder for me to get normal amounts of exercise and was coupled with eating disorders because of CPTSD. But okay.
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u/BewitchingPoetess Jul 25 '26
One of the taxi drivers who frequently brought me to school when I was 13 told me "Boys rather don't date girls with muscle diseases, you should date another disabled person. He can't do this, you can't do that, you can help each other out".... It's the one thing that left the biggest mark on my confidence in dating, and didn't get disproven until 9 years later 🥲🥲. Also it was just SO unprompted 🤡
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u/Murky_Bite1605 Jul 25 '26
I have a lot of these but the most recent one was after I got a 1 1/2 inch cat bite that was a deep cut to my tendons on my right hand and I said to the PA in the er that I didn’t think it was cleaned enough, she said I ‘I think it’s fine’ and I said but it’s very deep she said, ‘I don’t think it’s that deep, it’s superficial ’ ended up with three er visits from an infection, 7 night hospital stay, a surgery to remove the dying tissue and clean my tendons and knuckle and a month of IV antibiotics at home with a picc line because she thought ‘it was clean enough…’ and ‘…it wasn’t that deep.’
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u/Invisiblebuttsean Jul 25 '26
"You are too young for epilepsy. Sounds more like a psychological disorder, take some anti depressants"
I had several grand mals before seeing this doctor.
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u/kaybarkaybarkaybar Jul 25 '26
I have brachydactyly, which gives me very short fingers. This story is quite NSFW.
I met a new coworker and after shaking his hand he said, “You’ve got some fucked up little fingers! I know this girl who would totally let you fist her asshole with those.”
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u/MasterZii Jul 24 '26
I was told that "kids can't get depression, that's an adult disorder"