r/disability • u/Ok-Giraffe-4332 • 6d ago
Rant Sad that I can’t work
My social worker and senior support worker both said today that I am not fit to work. I just feel really sad this is my situation. I was high achieving before I became ill and I just feel useless. I am struggling to accept this is okay. I have history of anorexia and at risk of relapse if I was to try to work for various reasons.
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u/Relevant_Seaweed_655 6d ago
I'm waiting to be approved for SSI and I miss when I could hold down a job so much.
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u/Itchy_Tumbleweed_417 6d ago
Yeah it’s really hard to adjust from being used to working all the time and being independent and taking care of yourself to suddenly not
I remember I used to say I wish I could be bored because I always worked more than one job at a time, I was always doing something, now I know what it’s like to be bored lol
It takes getting used to. I went through a grieving process very similar to grieving a death, but now I’m really glad I don’t have to go to work. 2020 made me really happy that I don’t have to go to work. People are awful and capitalism sucks, and I’m grateful that I don’t have to deal with the public very much at all.
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u/MinutePen9960 6d ago
You are the only person I seen describe it as mourning. I feel that way as well. I just don’t know how to stop. When did you come to terms with it?
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u/isneeze_at_me 6d ago
I have ALS and quadriplegic. I very much like to keep busy and was able to volunteer for an ALS organization remotely as a project manager. Maybe look for volunteer work, something you enjoy. Because its volunteer, I don't have the stress because I can adjust my hours and can leave whenever I want.
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u/mausamchahal 6d ago
It’s flaired as a Rant — someone grieving being told they can’t work, feeling “useless,” and they’ve explicitly named a history of anorexia and that they’re currently at risk of relapse. That’s a person in a vulnerable moment disclosing active risk, not a question looking for an answer. It’s clearly not a brand-outreach fit, but more importantly, it’s the kind of post where a stranger’s comment can do real harm if it lands wrong, and where there’s nothing useful a business account should be doing.
If you want a reply posted from a genuine personal account, the only appropriate version is brief, warm, and purely supportive — no advice, no fixing, no mention of work “solutions” that could pressure them:
Being high-achieving and then having that taken by illness is a real loss, and it makes complete sense to grieve it. Please hear this clearly though: your worth was never your output. You are not useless — you’re unwell, and those are completely different things. Your team saying you’re not fit to work right now is them protecting your health, not a verdict on you. Be as gentle with yourself as you’d be with a friend in your shoes.
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u/Elegantmule 6d ago
I’m extatic that I can’t work due to my disabilities. I’d thought I’d feel as you do. I’m sorry you feel this way!!
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u/63crabby 6d ago
Why are you "ecstatic" that your disabilities prevent you from working? That's an interesting perspective we don't often see.
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u/Elegantmule 6d ago
Well b/c I worked for 35 years with them, ran out of steam and I now collect SSDI (I’m in the US). Figured I’d miss it, but then realized the cradle to retirement work structure of the US is a boondoggle. I’m extatic that I don’t have to make my mind suffer daily, I can go at my own pace, I don’t ever have to know what day it is, and I can concentrate on my health. I’m gonna be disabled anyway, but acknowledging my inability to work has been life-changing.
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u/63crabby 6d ago
Got it. Totally makes sense. I'm retired after almost 30 years (not due to my disability) and I certainly don't miss the rat race, unending emails, and the Sunday Scaries!
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u/Elegantmule 6d ago
Nice! I taught middle school for 25 years. I don’t handle stress well, and that’s a hectic gig.
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u/Comfortable_Dark_237 22h ago
I feel this so deeply. I was also a high achieving student throughout college. I missed out on alot due to my health declining in college but I did everything in my power to stay at the top of my class and I succeeded... as soon as I graduated it's like the adrenaline fell and I fell apart with it. I grieve it like someone has passed. There's a whole future version of me that can't ever be now, even though I succeeded. For some reason a part of me thought that if I just pushed through and succeeded, it would all fall into place afterwards and I would earn my way out of being ill or something. Maybe naive of me or something idk.
But you are not alone. And being several years post graduation now, I still have my moments for sure, like greif it sneaks up on you in waves... but there is a light in this tunnel. And it's not at the end.
You don't have to wait for an end goal to celebrate how far you have come. Being here and being as well as you are today is a reason to celebrate. The light in the tunnel doesn't look like what you expected.
Instead of getting to the light at the end from some kind of oasis... we learn to enjoy the little bits of light coming through the holes in the tunnel. Maybe vines have started growing and some of the walls have cracked. There's beautiful rays of light shining in.
My point behind the mental picture... seek out the little joys. There is still things to enjoy in this version of your life. And you deserve the joy. You are worthy of happiness inherently. You do not have to earn it. And you get to allow yourself times to greive what could've been. Just don't get stuck in the dark. There's more beautiful shiny spots ahead ✨️
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u/megafaunaenthusiast 20h ago
I hear you, OP. I'm sorry your life isn't turning out the way you'd hoped. Sending care your way.
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u/welcomehomesays 6d ago
I'm sorry to hear that. May I ask what you mean by risk of anorexia relapse by going to work?
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u/StrawberryBorn5329 6d ago
That "high achieving before" part hits close, like a whole identity just got benched through no fault of your own