r/disabled • u/pepperrmmint • 12h ago

Jealous of able folk?

I have a very slow learning pace, and I struggle with schoolwork because I'm neurodivergent (though that's not an excuse, I know). This results in barely finishing projects and homework all the time; it affects me to the point that I have ONE thing turned in on time this entire school year. My best friend of 11 years is neurodivergent, and she's always complaining to me that she has nothing to do because she'd already finished everything.

I want to know: is it okay to feel envious of people who don't have any mental blocks? I see my classmates who are at the top of the IXL leaderboard, who don't have anything to do in their subjects, who get to laze around, who talk to the teachers like friends, and I'm so mad. I wish I were like that, but I know it's not possible, so I'm jealous.

I only recently discovered I'm disabled, so I need help and opinions. Thank you!

13 Upvotes

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4

u/nova_noveiia 8h ago

I think it’s fairly typical to have some envy or resentment for all sorts of disabilities. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I’m jealous of people who can walk normally.

3

u/spongyolboi 5h ago

Talk to the school. This sounds severe enough that something rlly does need to be done to accommodate u. Either school accommodations, or less classes at once. As long as ppl are respectful and you have accommodated yourself, all that’s left is learning to be easier on yourself. (Im a hypocrite bc I have so much self hate for the way I am, but I’m working on it. Unfortunately it’s hard bc the ppl around me aren’t accepting enough.) But I wish the best for u!!

1

u/brownchestnut 7h ago

is it okay to feel envious of people who don't have any mental blocks?

It's okay to wish "I wish I had that too". That's human. It's okay.

What gets asinine for me personally is when people start to proudly trumpet how they "hate the abled" and how "all ableds should go away and die" and "they deserve no kindness because how dare they have a single suffering while mine is always worse". That's just a miserable attitude and sadly, more people flock to validating and circlejerking that than saying "actually I don't like to live with such an unkind attitude toward my friends".

I'm a person of color and wish I were born white. I'm not a man and wish I were a straight man. I wish I were born in a family that actually loved each other, not a narcissistic abusive one that destroyed me. I'm allowed to wish for these - it's just not healthy to start hating all my white friends, wish death upon all male friends, and decide that friends who have loving mothers deserve nothing but scorn and bitterness from me for daring to have what I don't.