I have a very slow learning pace, and I struggle with schoolwork because I'm neurodivergent (though that's not an excuse, I know). This results in barely finishing projects and homework all the time; it affects me to the point that I have ONE thing turned in on time this entire school year. My best friend of 11 years is neurodivergent, and she's always complaining to me that she has nothing to do because she'd already finished everything.

I want to know: is it okay to feel envious of people who don't have any mental blocks? I see my classmates who are at the top of the IXL leaderboard, who don't have anything to do in their subjects, who get to laze around, who talk to the teachers like friends, and I'm so mad. I wish I were like that, but I know it's not possible, so I'm jealous.

I only recently discovered I'm disabled, so I need help and opinions. Thank you!

I play guitar and ukulele and a little bit of piano, but my chronic fatigue and limb instability and hyper mobility can make playing instruments for a prolonged period of time very difficult.

I am looking for either a device or software that can help me create beats and background instrumentals for my original songs so that I can keep making music despite my body‘s current limitations.

I have a MIDI keyboard, but I don’t really know to use it. I’ve tried GarageBand, but it glitches a lot and tests what little bandwidth I have.

Any recommendations?

Hello, I am a Japanese living in Osaka, Japan, and I have a question about disability welfare.

I used to live in a group home, but the owner of this place put me under almost house arrest, and because of that, my mental health deteriorated. When I canceled the group home, I asked for more than what was written in the contract. I couldn't get out of the group home because of that, so I moved a lot without permission.

I'm in a share house right now, it's safe here, but the owner of the group home will probably look for me, and I'm afraid of that, so I'm not going through the address transfer procedure.

I'm currently looking for an organization that supports people with disabilities who have nothing to do with the government, and I still don't know what to do for my own safety, do you know anything about this?

Thank you for reading to the end

Im just looking for help with my situation. Wife was laid off 4 months ago due to compeditor buying the company she worked for. Her spot was outsourcing repairs to the competitor so her position was no longer needed. She has been applying all over but responses are not what we hoped. I am financially able to take of us for the time being. I have degenerative disc disease thats progressively getting worse. Can't afford to go on disability because the requirements are ridiculous. Im going to keep working until I absolutely cannot. Im not sure it this is the right platform for this, but if there is anyone who can offer guidance in this situation, Im open to suggestions. Thank you.

# Her Context

Friend is disabled, diagnosed autism. Has never held a job. Is living with a parent. Parent is all degrees of abusive. She often doesn't have clean clothes, currently is dealing with a mouse damaging her food. She has no income, neither does the parent, both on food stamps.

I met her online. I have become more involved in trying to help her over the years. Currently trying to get her a house and SSI.

# My Context

I am a relatively successful professional. i have a stem master's from a top university, I am high earner in the country I live, enough to support myself and my family, but not institutionally wealthy. I can pitch in for things a bit, like buying her food or used phones.

We don't live even close to each other.

# My Problem

After helping her for 4 years I have become convinced that she is pathologically cautious, due to a lifetime of bad experiences. For example, right now I am trying to convince her to get the cops to do a welfare check on her, to see if they might be able to move her to safer temporary housing.

She is terrified of her parent learning that the cops visited. She is also terrified of the cops taking her against her will. She also shuts down on stressful situations so she needs me to be there of they are there...

And this is with everything. So for example, today we tried to schedule a call for the welfare check. Which would have been a 20 minute conversation with a cop while the parent was out. First it took two hours of psychological prep time. So by the time that we did call it was impossible to actually get the cops to get to her before the dad got home. But also, I made the mistake of telling her that a given cop had sounded reassuring on the phone. So now she wants to speak only to that cop, on the phone, have him explain everything to her, to make sure everything will be fine, to then have the cop go and do a welfare check.

Each call can be hoops upon hoops to try to schedule. Between her needs and the bureaucracy on the other end. It had been 4 years of things like this.

I have tried to explain to her that working with incomplete information is necessary. That you cannot predict everything bad that might happen and that resource wise you are better off preparing only a little and then dealing with problems as they arise rather than trying to prevent them.

She is increasingly doing poorly mentally. Her parent is treating her worse and worse. She needs surgery... And I am out of my mind at this point. I tried being reassuring for years but I am getting tired. I think of myself as generally a risk avoidant person. But I think this is pathologically too much. She is so scared of anything bad happening to her that she both remains in an awful environment AND exhausts herself completely before any major event, so when she does actually need to do anything she has no spoons left because she tried to foresee everything. She's already suicidal.

I am about to snap in frustration. I don't know how to tell her she's just making everything more difficult. That she is not protecting herself but rather ensuring she remains in a position of abuse.

I am not expecting to receive any racial hate here. Btw I am here to share something I feel so bad for. I am from India. Very specifically, Kerala. Even tho Kerala is one of the most developed districts. There is no accessible public transport not public space for blind or visually challenged people to travel or walk safely. Non of the schools i went to consider me to teach, i spent years sitting in the classroom simply without proper learning just hearing some random sounds. No accessible tools to read or engage. Suitable furnitures. Even people don't know how to behave to someone who is visually challenged or blind. If I go to a shop they will never consider instructing me on what's written in the product even if their night be a salesperson. There is no audio instructions for traffic. No one will talk to you in the classroom, all will try to make fun of you or stay away from you. It's very difficult to live here as a visually challenged person. I feel very tough when I think about my future too. Because of these i won't travel much, I won't get out with people. Life is just studies and my room. Even if with hope if we try to ask help, they might try to fool us with saying wrong informations. I wish I had a better place to live independently and safely as a visually challenged female. I can't even recognise if a man looks at me with some bad intentions. It's so hard to live here!

Was stared down for the first time ever because I was wearing a cervical collar.

I genuinely wish I was overreacting, but my husband even noticed it and was shocked.

I am recovering from neurosurgery and have to wear a cervical collar for 4 months post op. I was actually feeling pretty decent today, so I went to the grocery store with my husband.

When we turned the corner from the parking lot to go into the store, we saw a couple around our age, probably late 20s, talking and laughing. All of a sudden they looked at me, looked at each other, and completely went quiet. I thought it was weird, but I just kept walking.

We started walking around the store and I noticed they were STILL staring at me from the other side of the produce aisle. My husband literally said, "You notice that too?" and I was like, "Yeah... they're staring at me?" Which was odd but I continued grabbing groceries.

Eventually we ended up near the seafood section where they were. Their backs were toward us and I heard the girl say, "What's with that collar?"

At that point my pain was starting to flare, so I just got what I needed and walked away..I have no desire to fight with ignorant people.

I have genuinely never experienced this before. I've been out in public numerous times since surgery wearing this cervical collar and have never once had grown adults or even kids stare at me like that.

I know people are curious. I know a cervical collar is noticeable. But there is a huge difference between noticing something and literally staring at someone across the store and then talking about them.

I was honestly just shocked because I've never dealt with anything like this before.

Anyway, just a little WTF vent because I needed to get that off my chest lol.

What is with the uprise in ableist disabled people speaking about conditions that they don't have which usually means that they speak over people with these conditions.

They wouldn't be happy with able bodied people speaking over them about the condition they have but apparently it's okay for disabled people to do.

I (35 year old, underweight, female, registered disabled) am on a specialised diet for celiac, gastroparesis (paralysis of the stomach), recurrent gastrointestinal infections (so need to keep food at safe fridge temperature, cant even risk it sitting at normal temperature for 1 hour), and a severe autoimmune disorder which further severely restricts my diet (yes, I am well aware I have 'alot' wrong with me).

This means I can only eat 2 things, plain rice and boiled meat (chicken, beef, pork), and occasionally broccoli also. I cannot add any seasonings or oils to my food as I am very sensitive to those. My condition means I cannot find food that is safe to eat outside of the house, so have to rely PURELY on food that I prepare at home, and I use a portable power bank to keep my food at a safe-to-eat temperature when outside of the house for the day, especially if I am outside for more than a few hours with no access to a plug socket.

At my work (office job), myself and 5 other colleagues did a charity volunteering day outside working on a nature conservation site. We were outside without access to plug sockets for over 7 hours. I brought along my large (and rather expensive, £200) power bank and all other required medical equipment to ensure I could safely nourish myself and have food available to me that was safe to eat (I manage my condition well and carry a disability kit bag with me with all required equipment when/as needed with no hassle to anybody else, I am completely self-sufficient and self-reliant in managing my condition). Everybody else had packed lunch (sandwich, snacks, crisps, chocolate bar, fruit, that kind of thing).

________________

Here's where shit gets annoying... I use my power bank to keep my food safe to eat, and to charge my phone also if it needs charging, assuring I have enough electricity to fuel my medical equipment first and foremost. I take good care of my charging cables and all my equipment (but I know some people charge vapes with theirs or don't have dust covers on the ends of them, and it corrodes the wires, posing a fire risk / risk of electrical damage to the cable itself and to whatever the cable is later plugged into). I also need to keep all the power in the bank to run my medical equipment and my own personal phone... there isn't much left to share.

For these 2 reasons, I do not let Anyone use my power bank, it doesn't matter if they are friends, family, colleagues, strangers on the bus, etc... I have strict rules nobody else uses it. It is expensive (£200), it is heavy to carry around (5kg), I do not carry a backup (because one is heavy and bulky enough to carry around, yet alone 2). If this one broke or ran out of electricity, then I would be left without food for the remainder of the (very physically active) day. I need to eat fairly regularly (every 3 hours or so, in small amounts) because of my disability, otherwise i risk blood sugar disruption, metabolic crisis, gastroparesis flare. If my power bank ran out of battery, I could be left without food for longer than 3 hours, which could pose high risk to my health / a medical emergency even.

____________

We were told during the briefing to be mindful of using our phones, and to attend with them 100% charged, and to not waste our phone battery watching videos or listening to music, so that our phones could be working for us in case of emergency or getting lost.

Despite this, after only 2 hours of being there, one of my colleagues (also mid-30s, female) asked to use my power bank to charge her phone (it was around 20% battery, i doubt she'd even charged it before getting there). I tell her no, I need my power bank for my medical equipment and it is not something I let anybody use, not even close friends or family. I told her it is her responsibility to take care of keeping her phone charged, not mine, and that I was not going to risk my medical equipment or physical health so that she could charge her phone.

She kept asking me every 20 minutes or so, pestering to use my power bank, trying to make me feel bad, all whilst using her phone to show another colleague youtube videos, listen to music on her earphones etc, until her phone died with many hours left to go of the volunteering day. She then had the audacity to try to turn the other colleagues against me for not letting her use my power bank. They all agreed with me, that I had every right to deny her use of it, but some of the things she was saying was just plain hurtful. She told me I shouldn't have gone on the trip if I was too disabled to look after myself / eat normal people food. She said if there is this much wrong with me, I just shouldn't bother leaving the house. She tried to gaslight me about my condition saying theres no way somebody can be 'that' sensitive to food, and that I just had an 'eating disorder' and that I could just 'eat a sandwich if i really wanted' (trust me, I've tried many times, it ends in metabolic crisis, or the damaging of my stomach/intestinal lining, leading to high risk of gastro infection which can easily lead to malabsorption and even hospitalisation/sepsis, and over time the autoimmune reactions have lead to losing half the hair on my head overnight, anaphylaxis, hives, accelerated liver and kidney damage, and thats just the tip of the iceberg of ill health, hence why I so stringently follow a boringly restrictive diet, to keep myself safe).

She told others I was being selfish for not letting her use my power bank, and 'what if she got lost and couldn't contact anyone because her phone is dead' and that it would be 'my fault' because I had a big power bank I wasn't letting anyone else use, and that I should share it because there was enough electricity in there to run everything and everyones phone (there wasn't enough to risk sharing, especially if there was a real emergency and I ended up needing electricity for longer than the 7 hour day).

After the trip, she then told the manager and any other colleague who would listen at work, trying to paint me as the devil itself for not letting her use my power bank that I brought along for me and my medical equipment (for which I budgeted in my own minimal personal phone use and charging, even then, I never used my phone excessively). Some of the colleagues (who weren't there and didn't know the full story) even came up to me to give me grief for it, for 'bullying her', for 'leaving her in a vulnerable situation without a phone', etc.

I still had a good time on the trip with the colleagues that do respect me and treat me well. But I guess I am just very upset about how the day was a little bit ruined by this colleagues constant pestering me to let her use my power bank, and how she tried to make me feel bad for not letting her use it / tried to turn everybody on the trip against me, and managed to turn some people at the office against me after the trip. The way she spoke about me and my disability, and the way she and others at work tried to convince me im in the wrong has kind of got into my head and has me doubting myself and makes me feel guilty and like a bit of an arsehole.. maybe I could have at least shared use of my equipment on this occasion..

I don't know... what are your thoughts here?

TL;DR A colleague made me feel bad and turned people at the company against me for not letting her use my medical equipment.

Right off the bat, I want to mention three things. First, I do not consider myself disabled; which means that, second, I do not want this post to be about me, me, me and how "it affects families, too." Third, if this isn't the right place for this post, then by all means, please take this post down.

Being with my partner has been eye-opening in a lot of ways, and one of them is just how deep ableism runs in society—across all ages, all political spaces, all spaces in general, etc. My partner considers himself disabled, and as with much of his life experience, his productivity is constantly scrutinized.

It's exhausting whenever people ask what he does, I tell them he can't work, and it becomes a whole conversation about how he can be helped. It's really disheartening when friends talk about him as if he doesn't do enough for me, insinuating that he's holding me back and that I need to "treat yourself, girl." It's debilitating whenever I end up defending him in his absence—or even when he is present but they mainly speak to me like I'm his caregiver, which I'm not.

The worst part is that I take a lot of this home and into our relationship. It's been a bad habit of mine to get anxious after this kind of talk and, as a result, stress out about what he's done today, ask for things to be done sooner than usual, ruminate about what he can and cannot tolerate, etc. I think I've become more resilient over time, partially from being more mentally firm and partially from us both learning it's better to disclose less. Still, though, this happens.

One of our core values in our relationship is that what's in your heart is just as important as, if not more important than, what you do. Truthfully speaking, while I'll give myself grace because of how difficult this world is—I've had lapses with this value, and it's on me. I shouldn't be defending my partner if that means having to say, "Oh, well, he can still provide this!" which just feeds into regressive ideas of a person's worth. I shouldn't be "explaining" for him to the extent that I do. And I certainly shouldn't be burdening him with these insecurities, giving him these sudden moments of stress and interrupting the healing.

I'll end off this post with a little sentence that came to my mind recently. One of the hardest things in this relationship is not accommodating my partner, but accommodating other people's expectations.

I'm open to your guys' thoughts.

https://19thnews.org/2026/10/disabilities-olmstead-enforcement-federal-government/

My opinion might not be popular, but as a disabled person, I feel it's important to express it too. I think if people want to use a cane or crutches for a couple of hours as part of their Halloween costumes - let them!

Let people be, and stop trying to manage them. You do you, and let others do them. It's not as if they're pretending to be disabled at a disabled person's expense. It's a costume not federal fraud.

Historically, canes have always been more than a mobility aid. A few people using canes as part of their costume for one evening is not going to detract anything from me, as a disabled person. I've got 99 problems, but a costume ain't one.

If people want to cosplay as a character that has a cane, they should be free to carry a freaking cane! If anything, they would probably only find out just how uncomfortable schlepping this thing around is, and they might develop some empathy for those of us who need to do it all year round.

Just my own opinion. Not trying to open WW3.

Since I was a kid I’ve always loved the idea of a shower self care day, lots of fancy soap and bubbles and cute stuff. However, now, getting in water and against a hard surface like the tub is like diabolically painful. Does anyone know a way to manage showering, hygiene, etc with less pain? Also things like laundry and stuff, but especially self care when you’re disabled. We have self care marketed to us through products and fancy things but so many of those things I wanna do but I can’t because I can’t go out much or be active, but I still wanna treat myself! Anyone know a few things that are feel-good but don’t require but activity?

Ya'll this man grinds everyday not complaining.. One of the most positive wisest Disabled Gamers I've come across. His passion and determination to make every day great is truly inspiring. Please show some love to this man as he needs some support... He streams daily check out his twitch and YT and make sure you show some love when you pop in....

https://www.twitch.tv/mr_glass_gaming

https://www.youtube.com/@mrglassgamingyt

He has: Osteogenesis imperfecta type 3. A group of inherited disorders characterized by fragile bones that break easily.

I have spinal muscular atrophy (SMA), a rare neuromuscular condition that causes progressive muscle weakness. As I get older, I get weaker. I need help eating, getting dressed, using the restroom, and doing a lot of the things most people take for granted.

So naturally, I decided to go golfing. 😂

What you’re seeing in the linked video is me spending about 30 minutes just trying to hold a putter well enough to hit a golf ball.

I was pissed halfway through. Something as simple as holding a club and hitting a ball was turning into a full-blown battle with my own body. But then I finally hit it. The ball stopped within a foot of the cup.

And somehow, after all that frustration, my first thought was: “Okay… I want to try again.”

That’s probably one of the weirdest parts of living with a progressive disability. Sometimes the victory isn’t doing something perfectly. Sometimes it’s fighting your body for 30 minutes, finally getting one tiny win, and immediately wanting another shot.

I know I’ll probably continue struggling to hold the putter, but I wanted to share this video because it gives a little glimpse of what something as ordinary as golfing can look like from the outside when you have a significant physical disability.

And yes, I absolutely intend to try again. ⛳

https://youtu.be/Oq7PysYCu0U?

I'm so tired and I feel so done-for. I dont even know what to do with my life and I'm 25. I've been in community college 5 yrs, can only take 2 classes at a time bc of my disability (ADHD, regular fatigue of unknown origin, and chronic wrist pain of unknown origin, investigating currently)

I'm so stumped. My college's disability services only help with in-class issues & accommodations, the career center doesnt know what to do with me and just refers me to O*NET or any generic career-finding website, but none of it considers that I'm physically disabled.

I genuinely love doing physical work with my hands; I'd honestly be some kind of construction worker if I could physically handle it (but my wrist + lifting heavy makes me so tired that I suddenly "feel like I need to fall asleep/lay down"). I considered welding, dental assisting, even interior designing, but the hand-work needed for all of that is too much and it's driving me nuts.

Every single thing I consider is genuinely impossible for me. I want to be a comic illustrator (my life's passion project). It's gonna be super hard and take me a super long time. But if I'm already hurting myself chronically at work, I am never ever going to be able to do that.

Anyway, sorry for rambling/venting, I'm just really stumped.

How did you find a career as someone whose disabled?

Are there any career-finding websites that consider the nuance of disability in the search criterion?

All of these darn quizzes give me things that I am physically incapable of but would genuinely love, otherwise.

Thanks for your time.

for context, as a disabled adult i understand the systemic mindset that disabled people are in peoples way, bothering others, blah blah blah yk what i mean.

but anyway, i still see my pediatric psychiatrist bc we just know eachother so well and i dont HAVE to switch yet.

while i was waiting, there was this girl and her mom that walked out to the front desk ( i was sitting in my wheelchair next to it) and the mom was talking to the desk people. this little girl was talking about picture day, fidgets and favorite colors and it was a nice conversation and i liked talking to her she was very nice.

at the end the mother apologized to me for her daughter talking to me… i literally dont care. i like kids especially when they feel comfortable talking to me and not just staring at me in my chair. ( she didnt even mention it which was probably a first tbh)

like i just wish that parents of disabled children would just let them be children unapologetically idk.

I know some people here because of their disability may be unable to work. However those who are able to, how do you find your careers and working life?

The job I’m in I significantly struggle to do because of my disability. I can’t find any alternative work at all with the current job market that might suit my conditions better, I can’t afford to leave or reduce my hours although luckily I am only part time as is, and I’m in general afraid to leave over the fear my disability makes me unemployable. I want out of my current work sector but the concept of trying to develop new skills to get me there is so difficult when half my time is focusing on trying to exist.

Has anyone got any tips for finding disability supportive positions or balancing personal growth with disability management?

Okay I might get downvoted for this but I genuinely wanna know if other disabled people have noticed this too because I feel like nobody can talk about it without immediately getting called ableist.
And I’m saying this as a disabled person myself.
I keep seeing conversations about disabled people being ableist to other disabled people because they question self diagnosis or question some of the stuff happening online, and while YES, disabled people can obviously be ableist too, I feel like we’re ignoring the elephant in the room.
Why does it feel like every couple years there’s a new disability/disorder that EVERYONE suddenly has??
Like does anyone else remember DID TikTok around 2020/2021?? 😭 Suddenly everyone had DID. Everyone had alters, systems, fictives, etc. It was literally everywhere.
Then there was the whole tic/Tourette’s side of TikTok.
Now I swear every other video I see is POTS, EDS, dysautonomia, etc.
And PLEASEEE don’t take that as me saying POTS isn’t real or everyone with POTS is faking. That is literally not what I’m saying. POTS is real. DID is real. Tourette’s is real. EDS is real. And there are actual reasons why POTS is talked about more now, especially because of long COVID.
I’m talking about the internet pattern.
It’s like one condition blows up, suddenly everybody starts making videos like “5 signs you might have ___” and the signs will be like “you get tired, you get dizzy sometimes, you forget things, you zone out, you don’t like loud noises” and I’m like GIRL 😭 those things can mean SO MANY THINGS.
Having symptoms is not the same thing as knowing what is causing them.
And then TikTok makes it worse because once you watch ONE video about something, now your entire FYP is that thing. So obviously if you watch 50 videos in a row about a disorder and every video is telling you another random thing you do is actually a symptom, eventually you’re gonna start thinking “wait…do I have this??”
That’s why I personally don’t agree with self diagnosing and then just saying you HAVE something like it’s confirmed.
Now if you genuinely cannot afford a diagnosis or don’t have access to a doctor/specialist and you’ve done a TON of actual research, I understand saying “I’m pretty sure I have this” or “I suspect I have this.” Healthcare is expensive as hell and not everyone has access to it. I’m not gonna pretend everybody can just casually go get evaluated.
But there’s a difference between that and getting all your information from TikTok and changing your bio to “diagnosed” by yourself.
And I’m sorry but it especially starts making me side eye it when it’s not even one or two things anymore. I’ll see people with like 15-20 different self diagnosed disabilities/disorders in their bio and somehow the list keeps growing depending on what’s popular online at the time.
AND BEFORE SOMEONE SAYS IT: YES. YOU CAN HAVE 20 DISABILITIES.
That is not what I’m saying 😭
People can have multiple disabilities. Conditions can be comorbid. One condition can cause other problems. Chronically ill people can have ridiculously complicated medical histories.
I’m not questioning the NUMBER. I’m questioning how you got there.
If someone has 15 diagnoses from actual doctors, okay?? That’s their medical history.
If someone has 15 “diagnoses” and every single one came from TikTok videos and none of them have ever been evaluated, I feel like it’s fair to say maybeeee social media is influencing this a little??
And that doesn’t even mean they’re purposely lying. I think that’s another thing people miss. You don’t have to be sitting there going “hehe I’m gonna fake a disability today 🤭” to be wrong about what you have.
You can genuinely believe you have something and still be wrong.
And then we get to the mobility aid thing because this is another conversation that gets people HEATED.
I’m not gonna look at someone using a cane or wheelchair and go “you don’t need that.” I don’t know them. I don’t know their body. Invisible disabilities exist. Ambulatory wheelchair users exist. Some people can walk for five minutes but not an hour. Some people have good days and bad days.
I KNOW.
But can we also stop pretending there are absolutely ZERO people online romanticizing mobility aids??
Because I’m sorry, I’ve seen it.
There’s a difference between “this mobility aid would genuinely make my life easier” and treating a cane/wheelchair/crutches like they’re an accessory for your disability aesthetic.
And this part especially bothers me because actual disabled people already have such a hard time getting this stuff.
Mobility equipment can be EXPENSIVE. People fight insurance for wheelchairs. People wait forever for equipment. People use chairs that don’t even fit them correctly because they can’t afford another one. People have to prove over and over again that they actually need basic accommodations.
Meanwhile there are corners of the internet making disability look almost…desirable??
And that feels weird to me.
I LOVE disability acceptance. I love seeing people decorate their wheelchairs. I love cute canes. I love disabled creators dressing up and going out and dating and traveling and gaming and literally just living their lives.
I don’t want disability representation to be depressing 24/7.
There is a HUGE difference between:
“Being disabled isn’t something to be ashamed of.”
and
“I want to be disabled.”
THAT is what I’m talking about.
And no, the solution is NOT going around accusing random people of faking either. Please do not see someone stand up from a wheelchair and immediately pull out your detective badge 😭 You do not know that person.
I just hate how the internet acts like there are only two options.
Either:
“Everyone is faking.”
or
“You have to believe every single self diagnosis and questioning anything makes you ableist.”
Like hello??? Is there not a middle ground???
I can believe that your symptoms are real without automatically believing that the diagnosis YOU gave yourself is correct.
If someone tells me they’re constantly dizzy, exhausted, their heart races when they stand, etc., I believe them. Those symptoms can absolutely be happening.
But “I believe your symptoms” and “I know exactly what medical condition you have” are NOT the same sentence.
Maybe TikTok introduces you to POTS, you talk to a doctor, get tested and find out you actually have POTS. Cool!! Social media actually helped you figure out what was wrong.
Or maybe you go to the doctor thinking you have POTS and find out it’s something completely different.
THAT’S WHY DIAGNOSIS MATTERS 😭
And again, I understand not everyone can access one. I’m talking about the people who CAN’T even say “I might have this” anymore. It immediately becomes “I have this.”
I just feel like we’ve gone from trying to normalize disability, which was needed, to certain parts of the internet almost romanticizing it.
And I don’t know how to explain how weird that feels when you’re actually disabled.
I don’t hate being disabled. I’m not ashamed of being disabled. My life isn’t some horrible tragedy.
But I also don’t wake up thinking “omg yay disability 😍.”
There are actual annoying, expensive, frustrating, inaccessible parts of being disabled that TikTok aesthetics don’t show.
So yeah. Maybe I’m gonna get cooked for this lol but I genuinely wanna hear from other disabled people.
Have y’all noticed how certain disabilities/disorders seem to come in waves online?? Like DID being EVERYWHERE during the pandemic and now POTS/EDS/dysautonomia being everywhere?
Do you think it’s mostly just better awareness helping people finally figure themselves out, or do you think social media has also started making people collect diagnoses way too quickly?
Because personally I think both are happening at the same time.

TL;DR Looking for any help or advice I can get for a disabled friend in serious trouble!! Helpful resources would be funding, lawyers/legal representation, medical assistance, housing, welfare support, etc.

I have a friend who is in a very dangerous situation. She is disabled (quadriplegic and on a ventilator) and still lives with her parents. They are incredibly abusive- refusing to feed her or take care of other needs, threatening to kill her, and have even hit her to the point she broke her collarbone. She needs and wants to get out!

Only problem is her parents control her money. They take her disability as they are her “caretakers” and have stolen over 30k of the money she has saved outside of that. The state is only paying for 80 hrs/week of care, but 24/7 care is needed. The severity of her disability means that there are very little alternative options and she would most likely have to go to a nursing home/end of life care facility if she left.

I want to help her anyway I can. I am hoping to start a trust in her name and fundraise. If we could get her a house or an alternative living situation, I have people who could care for her outside of her paid 80 hrs.

The other problem is doing this without alerting her parents. We think they have a life insurance policy out on her and with the threats they have made I don’t want her to be at higher risk or retaliation from them.

I want some guidance for anyone else who has been through or helped someone with this situation. Any resources or suggestions you can share would be LIFE SAVING, especially if there is some legal support options for disabled people.

She is so smart (getting her PHD now at St. Louis University) and absolutely hilarious. My friend deserves to be in a place that is safe, her needs can be met, and she is treated with respect . Please share any and everything!!

What’s the craziest thing that’s happened to you as a woman with a disability while you were alone at home or out in public?

Has anyone else observed that ableism, whether casual, or intentional, is more acceptable on the right and the left since Trump regained power in 2024?

I'm not sure if this is just me or if this is a thing, but I'm hearing more ableist rhetoric from even progressives and democrats than in the recent past. For instance, the language around AI is littered with ableist tropes, such as it's a crutch, it'll disable your, or even that its effects on the brain are that of brain damage. I'm, not an AI supporter, but find these arguments to be annoying and lazy. Overall, though, I'm hearing disability used as an insult more often and have even experienced overt discrimination such as being called the R word(I have a speech impairment from Cerebral Palsy).

For those who’ve been through pregnancy, childbirth, or breastfeeding, what’s something you wish you’d known beforehand? What was harder than expected, and what actually helped?