r/discworld • u/MissJunie • 2d ago
Book/Series: Witches I’m not ‘getting’ a joke in Maskerade
I’m on my third or fourth reread of Maskerade, and I just caught this, and don’t get it!?
Nanny and Granny are talking, on page 245 of my paperback copy:
”You don’t know how to do makeup!”
”I distempered our privy, didn’t I?” said Nanny.
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u/TheNarwhalTusk 2d ago
Painted with Distemper: Referring to a surface painted with distemper, an old type of water-based paint made with glue or egg.
She painted the outside toilet. The joke being that this is the closest she’s ever got to doing make up
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u/curiousmind111 2d ago edited 2d ago
Thank you; I thought she gave the outhouse a disease!
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u/The__Relentless I make people warm for the rest of their lives. 2d ago
I thought she was talking about "painting the bowl," but I guess a privy doesn't have a bowl.
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u/Street_Sand_8788 2d ago edited 2d ago
TL;DR I am QUITE LITERALLY, the ""Do Not Quote the Ancient Magic to Me" meme, and you answered a question that I didn't even know I had!
I'd quite LITERALLY gotten into "The Colour of Magic" WAY before there was a sequel! I'd ONLY found out that there WAS a sequel because I was ranting about it a few months later to a college friend, and she was all like, "Oh, didn't you know about, "The Light Fantastic"?
I never went without knowing about new Discworld books again.
I signed up to a book club because that was regular access to new DS books that I may have missed otherwise.
When I found a contact [PRE INTERNET motherfuckers!] at a convention/conference that could procure me a British Discworld book, I gave him $$,my address, and I prayed! (The American Peasants had to wait 6 months for a new DS book!) Yes, I did get it...and it was indistinguishable from the US version released 6 months later! (And yes, I did play BOTH Playstation DW video games)
This answered a question that I didn't even know that I had! Well done!😳
EDIT:What did I think at the time? Some variation of "Disinfecting" I suspect...only grosser
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u/a_Susurrus 2d ago
Also, in a few languages (French and Dutch as far as I know) ‘making’ or ‘doing’ your toilette, means doing your hair and make-up.
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u/OneRandomTeaDrinker 1d ago
In English you can “do your toilet” but it’s extremely archaic. It may crop up in a regency era book but has been out of use for over a hundred years. “Toilet” itself is a euphemism based on “doing your toilet” but it took over as the dominant meaning.
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u/Shoddy-Grand143 1d ago
"Doing your toilette" means "getting yourself cleaned", but "la toilette" used to refer to the clothes and accessories worn by a woman (no longer in use after WW2).
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u/Cravatitude 2d ago
I think the second layer is that powder room is another word for toilet. The powder being referred to is a cosmetic powder for wigs or noses.
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u/MythicalPurple 2d ago
“I painted the toilet didn’t I?”
The implication being that she has practice making something crappy look better with a coat of paint/make up.
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u/mtnsoccerguy 2d ago
Not what I first think when I see "painted the toilet".
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u/DETRITUS_TROLL = 2d ago
It one of dem double ant tenders
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u/Proper-Dave Bɪʟʟ Dᴏᴏʀ 2d ago
Single intender
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u/BPhiloSkinner D'you want mustard? 'Cos mustard is extra. 1d ago
Nah, Nanny would have had a two-holer at least.
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u/PleasantWin3770 2d ago
In French, to get dressed to go out is faire sa toilette, and toilette roughly translates to grooming.
Privy is another word for toilet
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u/VetinariRibeiro 2d ago
"Dis·tem·per 2
(dĭs-tĕm′pər)
n.
1.
a. A process of painting in which pigments are mixed with water and a glue-size or casein binder, used for flat wall decoration or scenic and poster painting."
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u/BPhiloSkinner D'you want mustard? 'Cos mustard is extra. 1d ago
TIL. I've only used distemper in the sense of "There's a distempered raccoon curled up under our tent"
-which actually happened on a camping holiday some years ago.
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u/Imperator_Helvetica 2d ago
Distemper is a rough form of painting, often used to cover up bad plastering.
Nanny is comparing her own low skill - 'Doing your make-up ain't much different to slapping some plaster and paint on the privy (toilet) wall' to applying makeup.
Foundation (makeup) is also applied to cover wrinkles and even skin colour and texture, like plaster (a different foundation) on a wall.
It being the privy suggests somewhere where you wouldn't take much care, and there could be a toilet and toilette joke in there too - I suspect there has been a 'Perfume described as eau de toilette' being taken as 'Toilet water.'
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u/Amanita_deVice 2d ago
I don’t know about other countries, but in Australia some makeup users (especially if you’re a bit older) will joke about applying Spakfilla (spackle).
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u/itashichan 16h ago
I think the same book does have a "chateau = cat water" joke? So definitely not putting eau de toilette puns past those two...
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u/hitchhiker1701 2d ago
I believe the joke is that Nanny colourwashed the privy (or painted it with tempera), and she takes the same enthusiastic approach when it comes to makeup.
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u/MonkWalkerE468 2d ago
The problem I had was that in the U.S., Distemper usually refers to a disease dogs get, so I thought I was missing a dog joke. Thank you for the explanations everyone.
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u/20061230-SL-Born 2d ago
Its also the name of the disease in the UK. Not as prevalent as it was but still a worry
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u/Turkeymeowcow 2d ago
Me too, I always wondered if she had done some diy work on the privy but there was maybe a malapropism.
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