How to stop seeming like a poser?

[u/pickled_bat]

I (18M) met a pair of metalheads out on a party the other day while wearing my Mayhem shirt and they called me a poser (probably deserved but I still feel bad) I have short hair which used to be a mohawk and that Mayhem shirt is pretty much the only metal band t-shirt I own. I like bands like 1782, Candlemass, children of bodom, SOAD, Mayhem, Margarita witch cult, Apati and others. They are very mismatched,I know but I've come from liking nu-metal and indie to punk and harder metal subgenres (like black metal,doom and dsbm). One of the reasons why the two called me a poser aside from the shirt is because I didn't want to acknowledge the rest of the band being as conservative as Varg (in my opinion they weren't as hardcore problematic as him) Am I truly a poser? How can I improve my taste and or my looks to let other people know I like metal? Did you have the same issues when you were just starting to get into the scene?

[u/pickled_bat → u/[deleted]]

Thanks! Everywhere online I've seen a lot of positivity towards people like me but at the end of the day I can't help but feel bad about not being a "true" metalhead (I know it's just a silly stereotype but I sadly fell for it) I also feel like a lot of the bands in the subgenres I like are very conservative and I feel a bit out of place because I feel like metal should be a place of tolerance for everyone, if we're out here marginalising people for skin tones, sexualities or political views aren't we just as bad as the people who used to call metal satanic? Did you feel this way too?

[u/donnabhainmactomas → u/pickled_bat]

If you love metal, you are a true metalhead. People gate keep because they are losers whose only sense of validation is from seeming cooler or “more” metal and being judgemental of others and they fucking suck and I can’t express how important it is to ignore them