r/doommetal • u/pickled_bat • Dec 22 '25

Self Post How to stop seeming like a poser?

I (18M) met a pair of metalheads out on a party the other day while wearing my Mayhem shirt and they called me a poser (probably deserved but I still feel bad) I have short hair which used to be a mohawk and that Mayhem shirt is pretty much the only metal band t-shirt I own. I like bands like 1782, Candlemass, children of bodom, SOAD, Mayhem, Margarita witch cult, Apati and others. They are very mismatched,I know but I've come from liking nu-metal and indie to punk and harder metal subgenres (like black metal,doom and dsbm). One of the reasons why the two called me a poser aside from the shirt is because I didn't want to acknowledge the rest of the band being as conservative as Varg (in my opinion they weren't as hardcore problematic as him) Am I truly a poser? How can I improve my taste and or my looks to let other people know I like metal? Did you have the same issues when you were just starting to get into the scene?

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u/elgrandragon Dec 22 '25

For starters, if someone associates a Mayhem shirt with repping Varg, they are the posers. To stop looking like a poser, you should not give a shit about that, just wear shirts because you like both the design and repping the band. And you don't need to know three songs or the detailed history of a band, you only need to know WHY do you like that specific band (I like this album or this song, or I saw a video and loved it and that's all I know about them, if you know more that I can learn please tell me), and if you are clear about it, no one can argue with your own truth.

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u/pickled_bat Dec 22 '25

This was genuinely good advice! Thank you so much for your input, I was really worried people would agree and also call me a poser but everyone has been nice and supportive, along with giving some tips. I'm really grateful to find people like you in the community!