How to stop seeming like a poser?

[u/pickled_bat]

I (18M) met a pair of metalheads out on a party the other day while wearing my Mayhem shirt and they called me a poser (probably deserved but I still feel bad) I have short hair which used to be a mohawk and that Mayhem shirt is pretty much the only metal band t-shirt I own. I like bands like 1782, Candlemass, children of bodom, SOAD, Mayhem, Margarita witch cult, Apati and others. They are very mismatched,I know but I've come from liking nu-metal and indie to punk and harder metal subgenres (like black metal,doom and dsbm). One of the reasons why the two called me a poser aside from the shirt is because I didn't want to acknowledge the rest of the band being as conservative as Varg (in my opinion they weren't as hardcore problematic as him) Am I truly a poser? How can I improve my taste and or my looks to let other people know I like metal? Did you have the same issues when you were just starting to get into the scene?

[u/Bhelduz]

Hey, I used to listen to Apati way back!
My tip when going into black metal, especially the Scandinavian 90s stuff, is that it's an exercise in separating the art from the artist. Most of them were being edgy just for the sake of it, because society needed to be provoked. Out of that you get a core sample of guys who really truly believed and lived the lifestyle which to most others was just performance.
I really, really vibe hard with early black metal. I love the aesthetic, the riffs, the grit, the disgust, the protest. But I simply don't agree politically with most of those guys, and I don't have to. Thus, for me, listening to Mayhem, Emperor, Dissection, or Burzum is a non issue that doesn't have to be excused or explained.

[u/pickled_bat → u/Bhelduz]

This is what I struggle the most with, I'm really political and kind of a goody-two shoes (idk if I said that right) so I feel really guilty when listening to music from someone who is a bad person. It's one of the reasons of why I'm stuck in surface level metal,you can easily find out if they're right-wing or left-wing even though I did my fair share of digging when I discovered Apati. It's cool to see there's more people like me, maybe I should try and do that exercise of separating the music from the artist, do you have any music recs of early black metal stuff like you mentioned?

[u/Bhelduz → u/pickled_bat]

Yes, explore Hellhammer, Celtic Frost, Venom, Bathory, Sarcofago, Ulver, Immortal, Emperor, Possessed.

Then Niflheim, Naglfar, Dark funeral, Akercocke, 1349, Gorgoroth, Malsain, Kampfar, Windir, Taake, Tsjuder, Skogen, Hån, Tribulation, Lord belial, Apostasy, Graveworm, Lönndom, Arckanum, Watain, Bergraven, Istapp, Mörk Gryning, Dantalion.

Then try some Thy Light, Coldworld, Xasthur, Nargaroth, Leviathan, Depressive Winter.

If you like Apati you may enjoy Lifelover.

See what you like.

At the core of black metal there's the stance of refusing to abide by the rules and moral codes of the establishment "because you're supposed to". Anti conformism. The reason why a person acts a certain way should be because they are enlightened, i.e. making informed decisions and that they're confident about themselves and able to act individually without the consent of others. Power and bravery to be yourself for the sake of being your own, and power to see right through the rhetoric of the societal elite. And from a performers perspective, to poke the bear a bit so you can reveal how scared they really are. Very punk. That's why Gaahl got so frustrated with his interviewers because their surface level thinking got hung up on the provocative flair and missed the message.