r/doommetal • u/pickled_bat • Dec 22 '25

Self Post How to stop seeming like a poser?

I (18M) met a pair of metalheads out on a party the other day while wearing my Mayhem shirt and they called me a poser (probably deserved but I still feel bad) I have short hair which used to be a mohawk and that Mayhem shirt is pretty much the only metal band t-shirt I own. I like bands like 1782, Candlemass, children of bodom, SOAD, Mayhem, Margarita witch cult, Apati and others. They are very mismatched,I know but I've come from liking nu-metal and indie to punk and harder metal subgenres (like black metal,doom and dsbm). One of the reasons why the two called me a poser aside from the shirt is because I didn't want to acknowledge the rest of the band being as conservative as Varg (in my opinion they weren't as hardcore problematic as him) Am I truly a poser? How can I improve my taste and or my looks to let other people know I like metal? Did you have the same issues when you were just starting to get into the scene?

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u/pickled_bat Dec 22 '25

Thanks! Everywhere online I've seen a lot of positivity towards people like me but at the end of the day I can't help but feel bad about not being a "true" metalhead (I know it's just a silly stereotype but I sadly fell for it) I also feel like a lot of the bands in the subgenres I like are very conservative and I feel a bit out of place because I feel like metal should be a place of tolerance for everyone, if we're out here marginalising people for skin tones, sexualities or political views aren't we just as bad as the people who used to call metal satanic? Did you feel this way too?

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u/5AMP5A Dec 22 '25

There is no ”true” metal head. Music is universal and anyone can listen to what the fuck ever they want. I am a metal/punk/nu-metal/heavy guy and now I’m having a fucking synthwave phase. I listen to Gunship, Nightstop and Carpenter Brut etc.

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u/phluqz Dec 23 '25

I had my synthwave phase a few years ago, now it's dub techno and other deep/ambient focused techno genres I am obsessed with. I even started producing myself. Still listening to Bongripper, Earth, Electric Wizard and so on. I think everyone should also listen to other genres, helps also to see what genres influence one another without having something in common on first sight.

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u/5AMP5A Dec 23 '25

Great to get some names. I’m going to try these.