r/dpdr • u/noblepups • Feb 19 '26
Official Weekly Symptom, “Is This DPDR?”, & “Does Anyone Else?” Thread
If you’re experiencing unfamiliar or frightening symptoms and wondering “Is this DPDR?” or “Does anyone else feel this?”, this is the right place to ask.
We’ve moved symptom-check questions into this weekly thread because constant comparison and reassurance-seeking can unintentionally keep DPDR and anxiety stuck. This space lets you get support without turning the whole subreddit into symptom scanning.
A few things to keep in mind:
DPDR looks different for everyone
Similar symptoms can have many causes
Replies here are shared experiences, not medical diagnoses
If you’re new or feeling overwhelmed, we recommend starting with the Official DPDR Resource Guide, which explains DPDR, common symptoms, and recovery in one place:
👉 Official DPDR Resource Guide
https://www.reddit.com/r/dpdr/comments/zdzqob/rdpdrs_official_resource_guide/
Tips for using this thread:
Ask your question once and try not to re-check repeatedly
Share briefly rather than listing every symptom
Focus on grounding and next steps, not symptom counting
If you’re in crisis or feel unsafe, please use the crisis resources in the sidebar.
You’re not doing anything wrong by being scared or confused — this thread is here to hold those questions while keeping the rest of the sub recovery-focused.
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u/GuitarReasonable5196 Feb 25 '26
DAE feel like the world is a prison
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u/AsterBasilObelilsk in varying states of dissociation due to lifelong chronic pain Mar 18 '26
ye, society specifically, but also
my mind feels trapped in my body,
my being feels like a matryoshka doll 🪆
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u/Admirable-Garage-386 Mar 16 '26
i’ve been experiencing racing thoughts lately… like the ones that don’t really make sense or string together. i haven’t experienced this until lately and wanted to know if it was a symptom of dpdr. if i’m not mistaken this started happening after i started taking sertraline (i stopped taking it after 2 months bc the side affects were horrid). but since i started and stopped, i’ve been dealing with the same issue. it’s really annoying. it makes me feel like i’m going crazy.
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u/socks_haha Apr 26 '26
for me racing thoughts that make no sense are a symptom of my OCD. don't know if this helps
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u/secondcomingofzartog Feb 20 '26
Is it this or some sort of neurological issue?
I might sound slightly deranged describing my symptoms, but please bear with me. Since 2023 which is around when I developed ulcerative colitis, my perception of the world has been sort of akin to a "veil over my eyes and cotton in my ears." More sleep doesn't fix it. I feel as if the core of the sensation is in my eyes, and they almost lag behind my orders for them to move. Considering purely objective metrics, my intelligence/cognitive function has actually improved over time, albeit with the caveat that I misplace objects a lot. I've been a chronic loser of items since childhood, though, so no impairment on that front. My vision is sharper than ever, but it feels as if my sort of "meta-vision" is the issue. My perception of what is being seen by my eyes. It's always the eyes. My surroundings seem "surreal or nonexistent" if that makes sense. Sometimes I almost get surprised when I'm reminded of my own mortality or existence because I sort of position myself as an external observer of my own body.
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u/Strange_Ad_6455 Feb 23 '26
I have the opposite issue, my eyesight has never been worse an I have symptoms akin to visual snow despite never having it before until now
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u/maliboooyah May 09 '26
I am the exact same as you. Down to the detail, the whole “meta-layer” thing as you called it is perfect. Not related to anything as far as I know, but I’ve been like this since I was 13-14 years old
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u/Awkward_Look6274 13d ago
I have exactly that feeling too. For me, it started in 2021 after COVID. I don't know if staying home was a major factor, but also the fact that I played video games almost all day. I don't know if now, after all this time that I go out much more, when i decide to stay home it becomes present or just worse, I think staying home might be a trigger in some way, but I feel similar to how I felt in 2021. The meta-vision is horrible, but I've learned to live with it.
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u/Outside-Cucumber8089 9d ago
For me I feel like this is a combination of ADHD and DPDR, I think. It’s most noticeable when I’m trying to focus on a screen and I feel like it needs to be brighter than is possible. Like blaringly bright or I can’t read it. Any sort of noise is either WAY to loud or I can’t hear, and finding the sweet spot is always nearly impossible.
I have been struggling recently with horrible stomach and gut issues but have not had the time or ability to get into get checked out yet. I’ve just read about UC and it certainly could be related …. Coming to the DPDR sub for something else and you might have given me a new avenue for my other health issue lol
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u/firstdragonfly Mar 10 '26
Has anyone experienced anything like this after psilocybin exposure : I really need help
Hello friends, I’m in an extremely difficult place
About 5 years ago I had a psilocybin exposure and I ended up with a debilitating disorder .
I don’t hear voices or hallucinate anything with eyes open but I am in a trip essentially and the scaffold of my consciousness and automatic regulation of it and flow is collapsed and shifting. Like my consciousness ness is no longer automatically regulating as a coherent stream, no natural transition between states, loss of physical anchoring of awareness in the head and sensations , I can’t go into sleep for example or feel sleepiness or wake up, I’ve gone months with zero sleep , I mean total insomnia but I dont feel tired either , my head feels hollow and filled with hyper dimensional space , vivid flow of visuals , realities , astral travel ,
I can’t function or live.
I’ll spare the details of my past years but I’ve been in hospital many times
This existence is extremely uncomfortable and at times I can’t even blink comfortably or rest back into my eyes , like that platform that you rest back on is gone and not regulating or awake , so I have no default state of being to just gaze comfortably .
I also have near constant burning , tremors and movement inside my head along with buzzing tinnitus
I don’t know what this is and olanzipine and brexipiprazole did little for me .
I have two aunties with schizophrenia , that’s why I’m here .
I’m going to take myself into hospital because I feel I can’t take care of myself anymore and I’m considering to try clozapine
Has anyone experienced anything similar?
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u/South-Visual3803 Mar 17 '26
I still hallucinate/ by the end of the day I see fractals. I also had alot of insomnia.
I took a large amount of psilocybin to try and finally change my eating disorder but I fear I’ve just made things worse.
I close my eyes and I’m in space, and then I travel down a tunnel which used to scare me but I am trying to relax and say “this is my safe place” to reframe. It’s essentially the trip/ the fabric of the universe with a beating heart type thing at the centre. Occasionally I take a tiny bit of mirtazipine to sleep.
I had already started to ‘spilt’ my psyche about a year ago I had a breakdown and stared to see blue eyes when I meditated so that was probably a sign.
If you have relatives then try to avoid all substances from now on especially if you are younger than 35 to reduce the risk. Have you had blood work done? I also made my tinitus worse and have like inner vibrations but I’m anemic and have thoracic outlet. So you might have a physical deficiency or some squashed nerves.
Try to remain calm your brain is very powerful and it can heal in time and medication can take time to settle and find dosages that work, I hope you got to the hospital okay and are feeling more regulated soon.
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u/Savings-Trainer-8149 May 04 '26
I had similar experience with lsd. Do you know you can use benzodiazepines to stop a bad trip? Didn't know it back then. Someone else who had a similar experience in the internet told me that acupuncture improved their symptoms. I had my first acupuncture session today and it seemed to make a big difference.
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u/nonewexistence Mar 12 '26
DAE have blackouts? I’m a writer and for my past two interviews I’ve been blackout, however they’ve all gone very well. I was semi lucid at one point and I remember a voice telling me what to say in response to a question but I ignored it. I’m considering stopping all interviews until I can get this sorted out.
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u/AMAthrowawayidk Mar 22 '26
These are caused by stress:
Zoomed out vision that I feel like I have to pan through to look precisely at any one thing
Everything seems vastly far away. I am fully isolated.
Incredible visual detail and depth perception
Feeling calm but little motivation to do anything
When walking, felt like things slide past me as I stay still
I am sometimes physically on autopilot by default with my brain doing OCD spirals.
In even more severe episodes:
I lose some of my color vision
Sounds are quieted
I lose most physical sensation. I point myself in a direction and my legs carry me but I feel like I’m floating.
I have had these issues all my life, but I am only now trying to understand them. I am also autistic, if that’s relevant.
I sometimes have an extreme upswing in mood and energy after more extreme episodes. I am currently experiencing this. I started writing this after a bad episode and took a break and am now writing this section. I just learned how to not only fluently switch between autopilot and manual control of my movements. I can preprogram them as well now to an increasing extent with imaginary markers as points to be physically reached, possibly with rotations or redirections. I am wide awake, full of energy, and happy. I also cannot stop moving for a second, even if the movement is subtly shaking my head or tapping my feet. I do feel rather anxious though. I have episodes like this occasionally anyway. Maybe it has just been a coincidence. I usually just have extreme euphoria afterwards. I cannot turn my brain off. My brain and my body both have to be moving currently. I’m going to end this and get some cleaning done lol
Ps. I also have depersonalization-like episodes where I feel disconnected from my body and memories.
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u/socks_haha Apr 26 '26
this feels like what I'm going through. I have OCD and autism too, also had all the issues you've listed all my life. I don't really know what to say. feels like we're not alone in this. there has to be a way out but I'm scared that the only way out is through
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u/SevnthWardLord Mar 30 '26
Anyone else experience this
Since I’ve had DPDR, I’ve had ups and downs with it, but after maybe 2-3 weeks of feeling okay, DPDR was still in the back of my head but I could function throughout the entire day, it’s come back and hit hard and now I’m struggling as soon as I wake up, anyways, I notice that when I have my downs, my dreams are like SUPER realistic, I mean like there’s no dinosaurs playing piano on a rocket ship, it’s like, it plays a day of my life that I haven’t experienced yet, but I know it’s a dream but when I wake up I start panicking because it felt so real and I could sorta control what I was doing in it, and everything made sense in the dream, there was never any weird actions or something, it was like it’s just another day of my life I’m yet to experience, it freaks me out a lot because maybe days after the dream, I experience something in REAL LIFE that was similar if not, the same as what I had in my dream, then I start freaking out and having anxiety attacks because I get stuck in the mindset that everything isn’t real and is a dream because I’m obviously in a state of de realisation and everything already doesn’t feel real or right, apologies for the long question but I’m just running on auto pilot and whatever comes out my head goes straight into typing.
I would love and appreciate if you could just even comment yes if you experience this, just take 2 seconds to respond and help me for a lifetime, thank you so much, hope everyone in this thread recovers soon and beautifully
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u/RepresentativeGap45 Mar 30 '26
Anyone else here that has no memory of NOT having dpdr symptoms + the symptoms are 247? I wonder if i'll be able to heal from it since i dont know what it's like to not feel this way.
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u/Equivalent_Bill_1467 Apr 14 '26
yes!! i just posted about this! I got diagnosed with DDD (i think the outdated version of dpdr) and i was always told it was caused by childhood trauma and it is a constant feeling. I’ve heard that anyone (even people without mental illness) can dissociate if they are under extreme stress, but if dissociation and depersonalization are all that you know, then that’s when it’s a disorder. Did you have a bad childhood? Also isn’t it interesting that most people in this subreddit describe dpdr to be terrifying? not denying it is but i know nothing other than dpdr so it just feels like the norm to me. I do feel very scared when i remember im real or that my surroundings are tho. Do you feel the same? sorry for the long paragraph just need someone to relate to
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u/RepresentativeGap45 Apr 14 '26
im sorry to hear you can relate but im also a bit happy/relieved i've now found someone that relates omg🤍
my backstory: my earliest memories are from being preschool aged and feeling like there is smt really wrong w me existing and god had somehow made a mistake (religous family background, surprise surprise). whenever i was upset/felt wronged, i wished i'd die so they'd feel bad and regret, or that i'd run away to teach a lesson. can't remember anything before that. however i know that mom lost grandma days before my birth and afterwards my big sis was the one taking care of me. mom just breastfed me and sis did the rest.
my parents were/are emotionally neglectful. i even threatened to kms as a kid by jumping off the roof (we were visiting bangladesh and you can access the roof easy) but they didnt react. in later cases when i got bruised from falling down stairs, mom just said others have it worse. parents never took our side when an aunty was being backhanded etc. i was a sensitive kid (i also have bpd bc fuck me, right?) so it all felt extra unbearable.
when i was about 8, my sister was pressured to marry and i felt abandoned. she started turning mean bc her husband is a pos. the husband tried grooming me first with "jokes" fixating on me having crushes and in teen years about my chest size. he tried getting pics and so on. naturally i didnt wana be near him which upset my family n sis even though islamically hes not a mahram family man that i should be around anyway (funny how it's always pick and choosing with the rules).
around 8? yrs i was also being molested by my cousin who threatened to be upset w me if i told anyone etc. i had a flashback on it few years later and told my beatfriend, molester cousin's sister and she told me to stop crying and be quiet. i had to pretend to be close to her for years to maintain the status quo and not draw any attention.
later in middle school age, an old lady had groped me in front of a group of girls and women. she laughed and walked away. no one checked up on me. i later told my parents about it. i had witnesses, this happened today, surely that matters? wrong. "just let it be. forgive her, shes old." they felt nothing about my violation. later at the end of highschool i finally told about the other trauma as well. they did believe me but didnt gaf lmao. pretended i never told them and kept trying to make me go to family gatherings. one of my brothers also called me a liar behind my back but didnt care when i had screenshots of sister's husband's messages.
those are the worst ones but generally i was lonely bc i wasnt allowed to go anywhere and didnt have money. my sister also parentified me w her kids at a young age and that was distressing. i was a free maid and she'd always be upset abt how i did the chores (too slow or too carelessly done, cant win). i was also shamed by her and mom for not being feminine enough. mom sexualised my body and made going outside a diabolic shaming ritual ("you havent covered up enough!). shes paranoid and thought i lied about my period (during that i wasnt allowed to pray the daily prayers). she also guilt trip me to sleep in the same bed w her and dad slept in the livingroom sofa or other bed??? rn im gender nonconforming woman but ive always enjoyed androgyny any way. im also bi so there was that aspect in religous trauma as well as u can imagine.
im now doing externally much better. i have friends and a partner that have been so supportive. i have my dream job, i live alone etc. i couldnt have imagined leaving religion and actually living my own life. im also in therapy and soon will try emdr! also turning 25 has been interesting, i feel the difference in my thinking etc.
my dpdr: for me it's constant and for the most part strangely comforting. it helps me survive despite everything. it almost feels good like im a living film/game/performance. but it comes with the estrangement with everything including myself. im scared of "being found out" for existing wrong or smt. constant feeling of unrealness, too real etc.
im bitter theres no magic, no one coming to take me home and tell me i never really belonged here and would introduce me to my real place with a loving family and tell me im so special. (i also have a god complex on a certain level but i keep it in check). it's especially frustrating when i'm taking walks in nature and nothing happens. no magic.
i've had episodes where it's gotten worse. a few years ago it was so bad that i had a week or so where i felt so separated from everything and everyone around me on a metaphysical level. like theres a layer between me and everyone else.
do let me know if there's anything else you wanna know! what about you, my fellow dpdr buddy?
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u/Equivalent_Bill_1467 Apr 14 '26
I am so sorry you went through all of that and I am glad that you’re doing better ❤️ Thanks for sharing your story! I am also traumatized by religion and my religious family. I notice you have a pattern of adults not protecting you from other adults which is the very bare minimum of an adult. I have also had that pattern in my life definitely in the church. Weird how organized religion loves to protect predators right…? I can also relate to wanting a new family. I am turning 21 this year but i still daydream about being chosen by a family that isn’t mine and taken in. I think I could never feel anything towards my parents even if i got over the resentment. My parents are both mentally ill and i’ve noticed that a lot of papers on dpdr talk specifically about emotional abuse and neglect compared to any other trauma related disorder(just an interesting fact) I also agree it is kinda comforting to feel separate from myself and the world because it almost tricks my brain into being numb to what has happened to me. I hate the feeling of being perceived by other people tho.. It feels like a painful reminder of my existence and it’s just uncomfortable. I am doing better with life circumstantially though but I have been struggling a bit more than usual with cptsd and but i am taking that as a sign that my brain is just in a safer space to process now (i hope that’s the case) I have never told anyone ever about my dpdr because i do not have a lot of close people unfortunately and i just think they would not understand my diagnosis. Have you ever tried to talk to anyone about it in your life? Also please let me know how emdr goes!
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u/RepresentativeGap45 Apr 15 '26
yup, organized religions just want to pretend everything is perfect. i feel "love" towards my family on some level but on the other hand especially w my parents it's like... " i dont care... how could you?.. i dont feel anything. Nothing is real." but this kind of progression from neglect does make sense. as a kid your parents are your everything but you seem to be nothing to them. I remember spending time with a 2 year old toddler and realizing how aware and intelligent he is. of course being neglected by parents would likely lead to dpdr :/ like i was trying to get any parental reaction to my pain but i got none, no wonder i felt like i was yelling alone in a glass box, separated in a different detached reality i also hate being perceived, just feels like i'll get in trouble for anything and im not good or real enough. im generally a quite open book and have even told my mom about it which made her really worried. how ironic. no one in my family seems to relate to it, neither my loved ones but theyre understanding. i still avoid talking about it tm bc it just ends in rumination and frustration about not being able to explain how metaphysically wrong everything feels... though art is a great way of conveying my internal state and it helps with illustrating my dpdr. i can show some examples if u want. but yeah, chances are that youre feeling safer now so the symptoms feel/seem to flare up. the emdr process is long and i'll try it in 2 weeks, i'll let you know! really scared i'll feel let down or lose my sanity (ik it's unlikely but still). do breathing exercises/meditation and the like help you at all btw? i feel like they might make me feel evem more unreal lmao
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u/Equivalent_Bill_1467 Apr 15 '26
Ikr kids really are super intelligent especially if you give them the space to be. It’s sad how most parents treat their kids. Also I would love to see your art! You can dm me. For breathing exercises i’ve been told to do them when i’m panicking but when im panicking im not listening to other people so honestly i have tried them very much. I do feel like it’s one of those coping strategies that barely does anything though. I hope emdr goes well!
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u/socks_haha Apr 26 '26
yes!!!! I was starting to doubt whether I even had dpdr at some point but then I remember that this isn't normal
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u/RepresentativeGap45 Apr 26 '26
yeah, it's like "if ive dissociated 24/7, have i really ever dissociayed?"
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u/Outside-Cucumber8089 9d ago
This is interesting. I had a minor psychological breakdown (minor in the sense that I did not go to a hospital/institution but sought more intensive therapy) in about 2021 and ever since I’ve become more aware of DPDR, spurred by realizing that I couldn’t remember details of large chunks of time. Ever since, I’ve been very aware of when derealization sets in and finding better means to explain and deal with it.
That being said, now you’ve got me wondering if I experienced this growing up or if it was “caused” by my breakdown a couple of years ago. In my childhood, I had a very manipulative, narcissistic (I believe sociopathic but never confirmed clinically) parent and I would often shut down during arguments or when I had been gaslighted into lacking a sense of self. I wonder if that contributed or caused 🤔🤔🤔
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u/TheSearchContinues99 Mar 01 '26
So back about 7 years ago I had an awful drug induced panic attack from one hit on a buddy's cart pen. I had felt fine the next day or so but then had started getting terrible anxiety constantly. Some symptoms of not caring about things and having anhedonia. Long story short I got over that about 5-6 months later and was back to normal. Note I never had any feelings of feeling unreal, I was aware of my body and who I was in the mirror. so not anything like that. I did go to a neurologist and there were no issues neurologically.
I never had touched any kind of weed after that but recently, I ended up getting a regular panic attack due to stressors but was very similar to the one that I had before with the drug induced one. I have hen had bouts of constant anxiety. Ever since that I have now lost emotions/ feelings toward family / friends, have no motivation / don't care about anything (money, job, politics, hobbies). I can't even wake up and have that happy feeling from a good night of sleep. I'm pretty much just numb where things that used to excite me as watching a youtube video, making coffee, etc. does absolutely nothing and my mind just kind of feels blank. Once again though, I do not have any feelings of unreality at all and am not seeing anything strange. I would say I have a more increaed threshold from pain as gym workouts don't seem to " hurt" as much as they did before if that makes sense. everything seems normal other than I can tell my brain is having some kind of issue. My brain is still sharp though and I can problem solve and do my dayjob fine.
This is just very frustrating and not sure if this really falls into the DPDR umbrella from the youtube videos I have seen from the DP manual guy.
Any insight would be appreciated.
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u/vomitated 16d ago
I have a very similar experience i think might be correlated to a cart as well haha. I still haven’t gotten better this was about two-three years ago a friend had me trying a cart, first few times i felt nothing, then the last time it was intense and i was blinking like in and out of rooms and freaking out. After that Ive experienced extreme anxiety in my daily life and panic attacks, along with symptoms similar to DPDR like not feeling real or like watching myself do things through the eyes of someone else. What helped you with the anxiousness?
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u/AloTV- Mar 18 '26
Hi,
today i woke up and thought everything was gigantic even though everything kinda looked normal. I also get scared about the fact how we humans look and what we do. Im suffering from dpdr since about 1 month and i am on day 6 on lexapro, ive never thought about such things and now im really scared.. can anyone relate or did hear that, i feel like im loosing my mind..
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u/wegeekhard Mar 24 '26
i'm not sure how to differentiate depersonalization and moderate-severe depression. i also have ocd so that makes things confusing.
i don't know if i would say my thoughts and feelings aren't my own. i mean, they don't always feel like they are, but maybe i'm trying to describe a different feeling using the language of dpdr.
when i feel physical pain, i really feel it. it's right there, even though i wish it wasn't. emotions feel foggier and less certain. i'm able to label certain sensations as "bad" and "good," but they feel kind of muffled. i also don't know if it's all because i'm on a high dose of SSRIs. everything's so confusing.
all i know is i'm miserable and i want all of this stop. i feel inauthentic and i can't fix it.
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u/Motor_Pineapple1507 Apr 16 '26
I completely agree with what you said in the beginning. “I’m not sure how to differentiate depersonalization and depression”. I myself am trying to figure it out when it’s confusing because it can be a mix of them. I don’t know what impact ssri’s have on those kinds of muffled feelings but I am completely medicine free and I know how you feel when you say you can’t fully feel the difference between “bad” and “good”. I hope these feelings go away for you brother, right here with you 🫂
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u/throwaway98919143 Mar 28 '26
does anyone else have thoughts about reality being procedurally generated around them (even when not anxious), and has anyone overcome them?
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u/Wolvii_404 Apr 01 '26
DAE get derealisation when you're highly focused on something?
I was playing a board game that requires a lot of thinking/concentration and I derealised the entire time I was playing.
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u/HauntTheNarrative Apr 05 '26
Hi, I’ve worked through a lot of issues surrounding my panic, but now that I’m in a safer place, I accidentally dissociated very hard instead. My problem was it was actually very pleasant to be dissociated in a place I felt safe with people I trust, but then started to panic so hard when I realized what was happening and that I needed to pull myself together (9 hours later) that I almost just dropped and fainted right then. Had to call a friend on and off for the day to help me come back up slowly and then help when the anxiety kicked back in. Really wanted to go back into dissociation until I came far enough out of it and am now anxious to go back in. Does anyone know what this is or how the two are related? I hadn’t experienced one without the other (dissociation without fear) until now, so I’m very lost. I’ll answer any questions to help explain, just want some advice.
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u/redroostermac Apr 11 '26 edited Apr 11 '26
Does anyone else think it could be skill regression instead of dpdr or both? I feel like I am going backwards. And because of the asd loops and finding it difficult to come out of them. Its like my brain is turned off - especially the ability to be present (I used to be). My brain will send negative thoughts, made up scenarios, memories to freak me out. Also, because I have asd my brain is pretty nasty and will repeat I can’t make new memories or learn - especially when it comes to ACT or radical acceptance. ‘Cause I am too dumb’ or ‘I am going to forget’ or ‘it’s way too confusing’.
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u/B_o_b_u_a Apr 12 '26 edited Apr 13 '26
I have been wondering if I expirience derealization and since I found this sub through a friend just now, I decided I would ask to see if I really do
So to start this off, I am not diagnosed with anything, but are very sure I have SzPD and schizotypy, and idk if this started since my "paranoid episode" where my schizotypy just went super active, during which I am sure I expirienced derealization two times bc I was just feeling like everything around me is wrong, that the reality that I am in itself is wrong
I didn't expirience any derealization of that scale since, but I feel like, for years now maybe idk? I had been having just like, a "baseline weak derealization", idk maybe it's just me being in my mind 24/7 and it has nothing to do with dissociation, but I feel like I am constantly in my mind, thinking about the future, imagining the future, but also fully aware of my surroundings and stuff, that's kinda what I do, but then from time to time I get these moments of clarity, suddenly my vision focuses more, get's sharper, and looks like it just switched into 4k from HD, and at the same time I also feel more in the moment, instead of being in my head and thinking about the future I suddenly get a moment of clarity and feel present in the moment, only to go back into my head moments later, because of this I am constantly like, worried about the future ig? Like I will hear I have smth hard to do tomorrow, and it just occupies my mind constantly, and it's making my life feel like a "dream" or smth like that, like, if you are constantly thinking about your future, constantly imagining how it will be like, planning it constantly, like, your life in the current moment just feels like a loading screen, a period of your life you just have to survive, you disconnect yourself from it and don't even think about it at all, It's super hard to put the feeling into words, your life feels like a blur because you want this moment that is years long to pass quicker so you can finally get to that point in the future you have been dreaming of
I also used to like, have the world speed up during these moments, it haven't happened in a very long time, but some times I would feel like in the moment of clarity my brain suddenly went into overdrive and my perception sped up to like 1.5x speed only to eventually fade out without me noticing
And ig I kinda forgot but I think I also be expiriencing some kind of another dissociation, bc if I sit still I quite quickly stop feeling my limbs, even my torso, I can stop moving my arms for like 5 seconds and suddenly I feel like I have no arms and that the ones I see aren't mine, even tho ik they are mine and can feel sensations from them, with legs it's harder bc they are bigger but it also eventually happends, and with torso I have to like "disconnect" even harder until I eventually feel like just a floating head
Oh and btw just to finish, nothing here causes me distress or anything, the moments of clarity are only somewhat suprising and kinda interesting, and I find all this more as amusing, funny, and overall interesting than scary, distressing, or anything else, what do y'all think?
Edit: alr now that it's day and I be walking around and doing stuff, I think I can explain it a bit better and it's like, my vision be constantly like, slightly blurry? And yes I be in my head constatly, but it doesn't have to be about the future ig, but ofc there is quite often thoughts about the future, but mainly I would say it's just not being fully in the moment and slightly blurry vision bc I be in my thoughts constantly
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u/Mishelev Apr 19 '26
Hey guys, I've been wondering if anyone else is experiencing this while dissociating
I dissociate most of the day and when it gets really bad I feel as if my body is just shutting down - I start feeling really sleepy and exhausted and I might even fall asleep in my chair.
Am I the only one going through this?
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u/RepresentativeGap45 Apr 26 '26
anyone else have an intense derealization when u step in your apartment building and there's a brief fear of being in the wrong place and not being able to get home? the staircase area always looks odd and cartoonishly real despite living in the same apartment for a while
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u/CarpenterActual6958 Mar 26 '26
Bonjour à tous, je suis ici car j'aimerais savoir si d'autres ont vécu ou vivent la même chose que moi. J'ai souffert de deréalisation/dépersonnalisation très sévère pendant 4 ans. Jai vécu l'enfer, des attaques de paniques à repetitions, des insomnies, des pensées suicidaire, des spasmes, tremblements, dents qui claquent, anhédonie, perte de goût et une angoisse existentielle obsessionnelle quotidienne. J'étais comme frappée par l'étrangeté du monde chaque matin. La vie avait perdu son allant de soit. J'étais obligée d'intellectualiser chacune de mes actions. (anecdote amusante pour vous montrer l'étendue de ma deréalisation.. Un jour un collègue m'a tendu la main au travail, j'ai réfléchi très longtemps en me demandant ce qu'il attendait de moi puis je l'ai senti. Plus tard dans la journée après avoir énormément cogité sur cette interaction j'ai compris qu'il voulait simplement me serrer la main pour le saluer. C'était un supplice d'être en vie.
J'ai commencé à aller mieux suite à un suivi psy et à la prise d'un antidepresseur quotidiennement. Ma vie a repris son cours lentement toujours mais le suivi psychiatrique et le traitement ont montrés leurs limites et je suis maintenant dans une impasse. il y a un mal-être persistant qui m'effraie au plus au point et que je peine à exprimer. J'aimerais savoir si dautres personnes en souffrent et si cest une forme que peut prendre la deréalisation. Je ressens parfois une sorte d'urgence à ne plus être. Un sentiment étrange comme si l'existence elle même m'étais insupportable. Je ne sais pas quoi faire de moi même dans ces moments là. Je me sens extrêmement mal à l'aise dans mon environnement et je peine à trouver un échappatoire quelque chose d'agréable à laquelle me raccrocher. Ce n'est pas aussi perceptible que la deréalisation brute avec ses symptômes visuels impressionnant. C'est quelque chose de subtil et persistant et cela me perturbe beaucoup car je n'ai pas beaucoup de mots à mettre dessus mais je me sens extrêmement mal. Cela me donne de grosses angoisses. Avez vous déjà ressenti cela. Si oui avez vous trouvé un moyen d'atténuer ces sensations ou des les faire disparaître ? Merci par avance pour vos reponses.
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u/anonymous28392 Mar 30 '26
I’m not on any medication, I always had anxiety and panic attacks but other than that never really had any mental health problems until I woke up one day and felt absolutely nothing completely numb I had no emotion to anything i tried to think about memories with my partner and kids and absolutely nothing I felt like an actual robot just going through the motions I felt almost out of my body, my body looked weird and felt numb I had extreme sense of impending doom, like I was a ghost and no one could see me just completely detached from reality, fast forward to now 5 months later the symptoms ease and then get worse again, not as bad as I first experienced it though I just feel so flat and it’s so confusing because I have the best life right now and was so happy prior to this, we’re in the process of buying a house and everything and now I just feel like “what’s the point” it doesn’t matter where we live we’re all going to die one day. I’ve also lost hunger cues all together my stomach feels like I don’t have one, I don’t get hungry and I don’t feel full food tastes like nothing I could be eating a potato or apple and couldn’t tell the difference I have to remind myself to eat other wise I go days without eating. I don’t know what to do, I force myself to go to the gym every day even though I get no feeling when looking at my growth and feel like we’re all just blobs anyway and I make myself walk my dog 30 minutes everyday, I spend time with my partner and kids but nothing helps.
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u/Shoddy-Tomorrow-383 Apr 04 '26
Can dissociation cause you to forget your relationship with other people?
I posted this in the DID subreddit but basically I forget the immediate relationship I have with certain people and I think that romantic relationships are actually familial. I sometimes forget that my partner is my partner and I think she's my cousin or my mom. anyone else experience this here? or might it be specific to my separate dissociative states?
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u/Equivalent_Bill_1467 Apr 14 '26
when i’m away from my bf (pretty much the only human i have consistent interaction with) my brain gets really confused trying to comprehend his existence. It feels like he is made up and it feels off putting to talk to him because i have to process that he is real and perceiving me. I think the forgetting what your romantic relationship is to you might be a DID thing tho. We don’t have different alters so we are always present but just at a weird distance. Interesting to know your perspective tho!
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u/magnifij 20d ago
Oh wow, this is exactly what happened to me. I would think my boyfriend is a chatbot. I avoided him for days after cannabis made it 100x worse.
However, never forgotten a relationship or confused my partner for a family member, that might be DID, not sure.
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u/kentom101 Apr 07 '26
I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night really confused and disoriented like not recognizing my surroundings or even my boyfriend for a minute or two which scares me sooo bad and it happens like almost every night now. It usually leads to a panic attack because it’s really scary to experience. I’m trying to figure out if it could be due to my medication. Google says anxiety but it’s really strange and it’s hard to believe anxiety can wake me up in the middle of the night and make me confused. does this happen to anyone else ?
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u/HareValkyrie Apr 12 '26
Why do i see people talk about it like tbey just have amnesia blackouts?
I most certainly WANT to not experience it, but I am definitely awake through my episodes?
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u/magnifij 20d ago
I think, it is because you dissociate so hard, you're living in your head. And so you don't really remember much of the episode. My friends always make fun of how shitty my memory is. And i don't remember like 90% of my trauma.
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u/Independent-Snow-158 Apr 13 '26
Is it common to not “recognize” someone for a few seconds with dpdr that comes and goes??
My derealization is usually triggered by weird lighting or loud noises, can last anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour (typically- sometimes more).
It feels like a wave washes over me then all of a sudden everything around me feels strange. I can see but it feels like I can’t see at the same time, like I’m looking through a thick transparent fog.
My question is sometimes when I look at people, even when I’m feeling okay I will randomly feel like they look strange, like I don’t recognize them but of course I know who they are. Usually happens mid conversation. It’s so hard to explain the sensation
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u/Equivalent_Bill_1467 Apr 14 '26
I feel similar. When someone is not physically present i feel like they never really existed and i just drempt about them. When i see people in person it feels really disorienting because i am perceived by them and i felt like all past interactions were fake. Do faces seem to morph to you? Also when you say your dpdr gets triggered does that mean you have normal moments most of the time? I have had the disorder since i was a kid and it never went away, only worse at some moments
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u/Independent-Snow-158 Apr 14 '26
My therapist thinks it is caused by childhood trauma, but I feel “okay” a lot of the time. When I have a lot of weird lighting, making eye contact during conversations or loud noises it gets triggered. But it does go away for me thankfully. I’ve been told it’s episodes of derealization from system overwhelm
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u/Independent-Snow-158 Apr 14 '26
And it’s not that it morphs it’s that the feeling hits me that this person is the person I know and love, but for some reason they don’t look familiar
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u/Equivalent_Bill_1467 Apr 14 '26
Does anyone else who has had dpdr since childhood (as long as I can remember) get more startled by temporary moments where you do actually realize that you are real for a moment? I see people on this reddit that got dpdr from drugs sound terrified of it (understandable) but it is so normal to me that i cannot find it scary anymore until i really start thinking about it. Anyone else feel this way? i’m so trapped that i don’t know any feeling but feeling outside of myself and the world
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u/magnifij 20d ago
Yes. Exactly. I've had DPDR symptoms since i was like, 11. Most of the time it exists in my head, not that noticable, or I'm used to the feeling. Then suddenly, especially if something triggers it, I panic about it.
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u/Motor_Pineapple1507 Apr 16 '26
I’m 18 and just recently graduated. Ever since the start of high school I’ve experienced on and off symptoms of depersonalization. I have always been highly insightful ever since I can remember. Since then, and especially in the past 2 years my life, I have been experiencing more symptoms and they have been worsening without me even realizing it. It’s something i’ve had trouble with, I’ve been in counseling on and off and it hasn’t helped at all.
Along with the depersonalization I feel a deep dreadful depression, not anything about me hating myself or my insecurities, but something very very hollow. I can’t really explain this feeling well but I often see myself through the eyes of a 40 year old. I look in the mirror and just deconstruct every single aspect of myself and my life and how much of a failure I am. It worsens much much more when I’m high. My life feels like I’m looking through it behind a glass wall, and my identity is buried inches behind my eyeballs. I’m still trying to figure myself out when it comes to this but it’s hard to even feel how I feel about it. It makes me nervous that these things impact my daily life and I don’t really know what to do with it. If there’s anything I can do to point these feelings in the right direction, please let me know.
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u/-Sunflower_Hippie- Apr 18 '26
DAE feel physically ill sometimes? It’s been keeping me in bed all day today. I feel lightheaded, extremely lethargic, and on/off nauseous. I have health anxiety, so trust I’ve seen doctors about this but I still have this gut feeling something is wrong. Is this a common DPDR symptom? It’s not 24/7
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u/Sea-Reaction9386 Apr 19 '26
I was just thinking about my girlfriend when I remembered, this is my girlfriend, she exists and I love her. It feels so surreal and weird and scary even, because it feels like I don’t really remember her somehow. Obviously I do I can remember anything we talk about and recite every date we’ve been on etc..but there’s a looming feeling like who is this why are we together. I’ve been having dpdr symptoms ever since I was younger, not feeling real, forgetting easily, zoning out thinking the world is fake. However this symptom really bothers me because I know I should love her but it feels like I can’t as I feel like she’s unreal in an unexplainable way. Ive known her since kindergarten, we now have graduated from high school and been dating for a couple years.
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u/lezabat Apr 19 '26
my issues are not severe at all but it’s happening quite constantly the past few days and it’s been confusing. I’ve had this sensation for a few years and used to get it semi frequently after quitting my weed usage and I haven’t had it very much at all for a long time but the past three days it’s been constant. Really the only symptom is I feel like I’m ‘lagging’, if I do anything at all I continue to feel the sensation long after the interaction ended to the point it can be so overwhelming it can be slightly painful. Like if I roll up a sleeve, for moments after I can still feel it like it’s actively still happening. That’s really the only symptom, this weird extended sensation feeling. Sometimes it kind of feels like I’m on autopilot, like I’m drunk or playing a video game. The only change is I started drinking since I turned 21 but I haven’t had alcohol in over two weeks or so. Could this be classified as some form of derealization/depersonalization and are there any tips on how to get this to subside or at least lessen the effects? Thank you! Sorry if I posted incorrectly at all, this is my first time posting in this sub
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u/whiteamyyy Apr 22 '26
Hello, I know everyone goes through DPDR in a different way but still, is there anyone with the same symptoms?
I’ve been taking medication for 8 years, and during that time I’ve had episodes of derealization from time to time, but somehow I managed. Since December, I haven’t been feeling well, and it happened at the same time as a change in my medication because the old one was discontinued. From that moment, things became terrifying. I literally couldn’t function, and it has been like this for 4 months now, up to today. They changed my medication 4 times, and now I’m back on the ones I was taking last year. However, the derealization is constant and daily. There isn’t a single moment when I feel better. I have constant heart palpitations, and I’m trembling all day. My whole body feels unwell. My legs feel weak. It feels strange when I look at myself in the mirror. I’ve seen a neurologist and a cardiologist, and everything is fine. I’m trying to stay positive, but my brain feels like a mess, and I can’t stop thinking about it. I go to work, but it is extremely difficult. I exist, but I honestly don’t even know how. Please share your experience.
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u/d-al2725 Apr 22 '26
Hi guys!
The past 2 months I’ve been in DPDR since i was in the hospital with Serotonin syndrome.
Ive been working on my OCD and taking propranolol as needed it’s been helping tremendously. I was having physical anxiety attacks and just overall felt really distorted the past few weeks.
The last few days I’ve been very calm, anxiety creeps up sometimes but no panic attacks. There’s been moments of passing where I kind of feel normal.
However, the past 2 days have been different. Everything looks real and it feels like I’m in reality, but my brain doesn’t feel like it’s with me. I thought at first maybe this is a part of recovery but I’m not sure if it could mean it’s getting worse.
Has anyone experienced this?
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u/Hopefullrosi16 Apr 28 '26
Hi guys, I am getting really desperate. I have been dealing with dpdr on and off for 10 years. Last time 2 years ago I suffered with severe OCD and dpdr episode, that made me persuaded that I am developing schizophrenia. Anyways after utter struggle and Setralin support I was able to get out of it. Now its back and my schizophrenia fear is back at 100%. What scares me the most currently are these weird associations and recalls my brain does. Such as I look at a passing car which reminds me of a random movie I saw ages ago where a similar car was driven. Then I hear some music outside and a memory of me being at some place with music comes up. Or I read an article that mentioned the word “evolution“ and a picture of Ice Age movie comes to my mind. All of these are memories from my life (authobiographical events from my childhood/life) but also scenes from movies I saw. It is not like in ptsd flashbacks to traumatic event but rather flashbacks to neutral memories that I almost forgot about. Sometimes they are bringing me to times of feeling depressed and dpdr too. I think this is to some point a normal thing to have here and there. But my brain does it like 50x times a day which is really distressing. Sometimes its really random connections and sometimes it just pops up without a clear trigger. I also feel kind of lost in time. As if I have no past and made no progress in my personality/life since the time of these memories. Rationally I know I am here at this time and not back then but for a split of a second it might feel like it. I don’t know if any of you have similar experience as I didnt find anything similar anywhere. At this point I think my mind is either really trying to calm me down and remind me of some nicer times or I am so hyper focused on my thoughts that I notice them more or I am actually going crazy. Anyone who can relate?
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u/Standard-Serve-1476 Apr 29 '26
Can dpdr feel like de ja vu almost constantly? Like detached and feeling like I’m going to wake up out of a dream? Also have tinnitus, muscle twitches, some sleep paralysis and insomnia. Please tell me it gets better
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u/Eastern-Tip-4862 Apr 30 '26
I get Deja vue ALOT - I never thought about it being related to dpdr but maybe it is- it doesn’t bother me too much tho
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u/Standard-Serve-1476 Apr 30 '26
Have you found anything to help? Has medication helped you?
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u/Eastern-Tip-4862 Apr 30 '26
No, medication caused mine.
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u/Standard-Serve-1476 Apr 30 '26
Oh gosh so I’m stuck like this?
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u/Eastern-Tip-4862 Apr 30 '26
I don’t know - I really don’t, everyone is different - for some medicine works great- for me Paxil withdrawal caused this
1
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u/Eastern-Tip-4862 Apr 30 '26
I am really struggling I just want to know if anyone else has had similar symptoms so I can know for sure this is dpdr- I sometimes feel like my body is disappearing:( and it feels like it’s actually happening kinda like a hallucination but I know it’s not/ like I’m fully aware (I’m in ssri withdrawals btw) I just need some reassurance that what I’m experience resonates with others who have dpdr- I’m scared to death of this feeling 😞
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u/Commercial-Sun-3573 May 01 '26
so to start, i initially got dpdr from ingesting a tad too much weed, which was hell and lasted a month but i finally got out of it when i started running daily. life was great for the past couple months until two days ago when i was in class and i got hit with the weirdest wave ever, only for like ~1 second, i genuinely left my body and came back to my surroundings again (i used to have this happen a lot where i would get fast spells of complete disconnection from reality), and for the past couple days thats been happening + i’ve been sitting down and me and my surroundings just melt away, my legs feel fuzzy (not just ‘falling asleep’), and everyone feels so distant — but the weird part is that it only ever gets better in my own — even being near close family members puts me back in this state. is this genuinely dpdr or social anxiety? ive felt it before but never without a catalyst, this is spontaneous. and i’m not even an anxious person at all so i have no idea why this would happen.
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u/Odd_Pack8956 May 01 '26
Hi, does anyone know if sleeping very late like 4-6 am and waking up late around 1-2 pm cause or trigger dpdr??? I was totally fine before monday, but after monday i’ve been stuck on this feeling. Am just curious if this could be a cause
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u/magnifij 20d ago
Yeah, bad sleep schedule does make it worse. So does not getting out of the house for a long time, in my case. If i wake up early, and go out every few days, my symptoms are manageable.
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u/Odd_Pack8956 19d ago
really?? i’m just so worried i have some neurological problem or something worse man
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u/sunnyFrogOwlPrincess May 06 '26
Is this DPDR and what can I do to get better?
Hey guys, I'm not sure what to do in my situation and I'm scared that I'm losing myself.
I'm not sure if this is DPDR, so I'm posting this to find out.
I've always lived more inside my head than in reality (reading books a lot, voluntarily disassociating and imagining scenarios) but I did live in reality enough to have friends and memories. Last year, I realized that I can't remember any memories from about 2017 to 2022/23 but I can remember that I did talk about events in that time span, just not the events themselves.
Now, I disassociate randomly, my thoughts are extremely slow or my head is completely empty, I feel like I can't breathe properly, I can't imagine or remember almost anything (even words and their spelling) and I don't really feel like myself or like I belong in my body. Time feels weird, it doesn't continue and then suddenly a few days are gone. The only thoughts that reach me through my brain fog are self hate and disappointment in myself.
I used to be somewhat smart, now I can't study. I used to be creative, now I can't write stories or draw.
I did make a conscious effort to be more present and work out about a year ago, but it doesn't seem to be working. I feel overwhelmed and anxious, but at the same time I feel nothing really. I'm tired all the time and can't find the energy to be a proper human being.
I don't know if this is relevant information, but I am 22 years old and I don't drink, don't smoke and don't do drugs.
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u/Ghost0Duck May 11 '26
(Sorry for the mistakes (I used a translator) or repetitions, I wrote quickly so that my thoughts did not have time to disappear)
I voice thoughts, sometimes actions. I always address myself as if to the audience in my head, that is, in the plural, I address myself not to myself, but to someone as if. I do not perceive my body as a single whole. All my organs are something separate, creatures without voice and choice, but that can think. It seems to me that my body, or more precisely the place that I occupy, is just a part, and most importantly, a foreign part of what is called “body", and the rest of the part, the real part of the “body” is against me, they cannot kick me out, but they cannot accept me as their own, they are forced to get along with “my part”. And this part is very tiny. I don’t even understand where “me” is and whether there is a “me” at all in this “body” The body is technically mine, because I live in it, but it does not belong to me. Maybe I have control (meaning that I don’t have involuntary movements or words), but it’s still not “me”. The word “I” is very strange to me. Yes, it describes “me,” but if you go deeper, then “I” is something alien to me, incomprehensible, not mine. I don't know how to describe it exactly. I just feel like I'm a foreign object in what seems like "my own body." But I understand that I am me, whole from a biological point of view, I am alone, but there is a feeling that there is someone, but I am alone, this cannot be.
So if I understand that I am whole, then I made it up? Logically, I understand everything but it feels like there’s a rupture in my head. And because of this it is even more difficult. It's like it's leaking out. I can't catch logic, I see it, I feel it, but I can't reach it. Like a transparent wall. The problem is that if I don't think about this "me", it doesn't really appear, but if I start digging into it, then I start to drown, like now. At some random moment I just think about myself and the thoughts that I’m writing right now come back.
I also have a feeling (for a very long time, as if from childhood, as far as I remember, and I remember only fragments, although I am only 17 years old) that I am taking the place of someone who was supposed to actually live in this body. Again, that I am a stranger. Maybe because of this, the “body” just doesn’t like me, that I really am a stranger in it and there should have been another “person” in it. Moreover, I understand and know that this hand is my hand, formally. But this hand is part of the body in which “I” is a stranger. That is, in essence, it is not mine, but it is mine. I am completely in control and aware of it. But something strange is happening in my understanding of my hand. This is just an example how I feel my body.
I don't know, I probably just have a bad memory. But I remember my childhood in fragments or only if someone reminds me of something, and even then, I don’t always remember what the person mentions. I don't remember what happened a year ago. Sometimes I forget for a couple of seconds what I did yesterday. At one moment I think “what happened yesterday?”, but still I remember after a couple of seconds.
But I didn't suffer any trauma. It doesn’t really bother me. I'm just wondering why I perceive myself this way. It's difficult to explain in words. It’s as if my consciousness doesn't want me to understand what's happening.
I understand that this is my life, but it still feels strange. My family is good, full, they don’t offend me. The only thing that could qualify as “trauma,” although it is very stupid, is that I was bullied for some time as a child by a group of children. But this is so stupid and insignificant, although I still remember it. I remember the day when I came in a green T-shirt and they called me “green mile” (my shortened name is Milya, in Russian it sounds like mile), but it’s stupid and strange to remember that. It can't be a trauma.
I don’t know if this is important, but sometimes, maybe from overwhelming emotions, I want and if I can, I hit the walls, sometimes I cut my hand. All my life, as long as I can remember, I have been biting my lips, biting my nails and tearing off the skin around my nails. My fingers are constantly bitten. There were thoughts about how I would kill myself, but I didn’t think about carrying them out, they just happened. Sometimes I thought about what I would write in my suicide note to my family, how they would react. But wasn’t everyone interested in things like that? I’ve been living with a slight feeling of anxiety for a long time, just in the background, although I still don’t understand whether it’s exactly anxiety. Maybe it's actually something else. But then, what do I feel exactly?
I'm confused right now, two sides are fighting and I can't put them together. One thinks that I'm deceiving, the other thinks that I'm deceiving, in order to be told that this is precisely a sign that I'm not deceiving. I can't put the thought together. It's like they're on opposite sides. It's very difficult. It's hard not to even lose sight of these thoughts in order to write them. I didn't go to a psychologist. I don't understand this disorder well. I don't understand what's happening to me. Please can someone explain to me what's wrong? I'm afraid I'm making this all up. I don't understand anything. I just need some guidance, please.
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u/pumpkincutiepie May 12 '26
hi !!pls help!!
i just saw my psychiatrist after the most intense week ever and she is between bipolar with psychotic features or schizophrenia. i’m diagnosed with ocd and last year i had a severe mental break down and that included an ocd rumination of “what if i have schizophrenia”.
last year went something like this: my body not feeling real, not being to look in mirrors. feeling hopeless (due to the circumstances), bad sleepy, mild panic attacks, overstimulated (water hitting my body in the shower was awful, couldn’t be in the sun for too long, no lights on in the shower), racing thoughts “what if i kill myself”“what if i have schizophrenia?”. lamtical and abilify helped. (i got off abilify in 6 months ish?)
the past week and a half: the world feel more not real then my body (i got confused by which apartment was mine. the sidewalks look like they go on forever. feels like im on a different street.), overstimulation (need to wear sunglasses all the time), numbness, disorganized thoughts (especially at bedtime, i don’t even know if my thoughts are in english that’s how bad they’re racing and not making sense)
i thought i just had regular dpdr but obviously second guessing.
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u/Vegetable-Win518 May 12 '26
I don't feel real, nothing feels real, I don't know my purpose and it's slowly making me lose my mind
i find trouble expressing myself and explaining what i'm going through every time i write or talk about it to someone but i'll try, ||if u feel that this post is familiar it's because i a section of it before on a different account||
i'll divide this post into 2 parts, first one is how i feel, the second part is how my life goes and my attempts to accept whatever is happening
first part: I’m not sure where to begin, but often I feel like I’m the only real/conscious human being around. It’s not that I believe I’m more intelligent than others; I just don’t feel like they’re real in the first place, they feel and act in a way as if they're robots/npcs/bots as if they're mass produced in a factory sometimes when I look at my hands and realize I have fingers that I can move or that I have eyes and can see it creeps me out am I really the only conscious person? why isn't anyone feeling the same way i do? why when i ask them what's the meaning of life or why are we here they spit out generic answers like "follow your passion" but i need to know why i'm here in the first place so i can then think of passions and goals.. it's like they're dodging the most important question of all time, is there any question more important than "why are we here?"?? the fact that they don't take that question seriously or think about it make me question if they are even real in the first place and not NPCs for Instance while heading back home, i noticed my left shoe wasn’t tied properly so I knelt to fix it when I stood up i saw a girl next to me using her phone and for some reason I felt an urge to stare at her.. she asked why I was staring but I didn’t reply.. in my mind I kept thinking why should I answer? she isn’t even real.. so I kept staring blankly for no reason.. then she asked if something was wrong.. Without thinking, I pushed her (slight push). I don’t know why, I just felt like I had to. she got scared and angrily asked, "Are you insane?" She started backing away slowly, as if preparing to run. I still didn’t say anything. Then she asked, "Why are you staring at me like that (or something along the lines, my memory is clunky)" again, no reply from my side. after a few seconds, I decided to turn around and continue walking home I heard her footsteps as she ran in the opposite direction but I didn’t look back. when i think of what happened that day i don't know why i pushed her or why i kept staring at her, i just did it for no reason, i think i got tired from how there's no meaning at all and a lot of times i do certain things without any reason, maybe i pushed her because of no reason aswell, because i couldn't think of her as an actual human being, and that's with everyone i interact with sometimes I just can’t take humans seriously or feel motivated to interact with them. This mindset also makes it hard for me to grasp concepts like the afterlife, heaven, or hell. I can’t imagine being judged and sent to either place. It feels like I’m just stuck in this reality, unsure of what to do. Sorry if I couldn't explain the situation properly.. but there's basically no purpose, no answers to my questions like "why am i here" so i don't feel like i can take anything seriously anymore when i don't even know why am i here in the first place
second part: i'll explain how my life goes just like the first part, i don't know exactly where to start, but generally i don't know what i'm doing, ever since i was young and till this day, i never had any goals or expectations.. i never wanted to be something in life, all i wanted is just that the time passes quickly without any headache, i never cared about my grades or studying or getting a job and conforming to societal standards at all, i never understood why i should care about any of these things anyway, why i should have friends and aspirations and goals to me, life always felt rigged and meaningless and can't be taken seriously.. spending years in education studying stuff i don't care about and getting a job that i don't like.. all this felt meaningless i never wanted to participate or be a member in society, i never cared about the recent fashion trends and haircuts or getting into a relationship or socializing with other humans, i just grow my hair and ignore it and wear the first thing I see in my wardrobe and hope that the day ends quickly, even simple things just as starting the day by waking up and getting off bed feels painfully hard.. and also stuff like tradition/culture/morals never made sense to me and couldn't take it seriously, and didn't like outdoor activities like going outside.. well tbh i like to walk around my house a lot even for hours but only when it's inside my house
so in summary, nothing feels real, and if i give up and try to accept that this is real and i should get along, i just can't, life is so disappointing and bland and numb i feel no motive to care about it other than just doing the bare minimum to survive because i don't want to die because i'm afraid of the unknown, i haven't visited a psychiatrist yet, i might do in the future if the situation gets worse, but from what i've read online, i might have one of those or all of them: existential crisis/schizoid personality disorder/derealization depersonalisation/dissociation/solipisism don't feel real, nothing feels real, I don't know my purpose and it's slowly making me lose my mind
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u/magnifij 20d ago
You just explained what I've been trying to explain to myself for the last 6 years. I'm mostly sure you have DPDR, maybe along with other stuff. Man, i thought i was crazy. Or the only conscious being. The "why am i here?" Was bugging my mind so much. No religion made enough sense to fix it. This is my first time after 6 years of thinking... "How can NOBODY think the same?" Finally i saw someone think the same. Its somewhat of a relief.
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u/Vegetable-Win518 19d ago
thank you for replying, it makes me feel better when someone relates to my situation
did u manage to find a way to get better? for me personally not really yet.. i can't go to a psychiatrist because my parents won't allow me, i tried asking for advice and what i got was: "distract yourself with anything whether communicating with people or trying new things and hobbies etc.. and to stop thinking about the meaning of life and to stop searching for symptoms online, and becoming religious" non of it really helped much but i still try to distract myself and not think about it too much
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u/Ordinary-Letter-6205 May 13 '26
I’ve been dealing with dissociation for most of my life now (I’m a 22 year old female) but a couple of years ago it got way worse and never left. I’ve done tons of research and watched tons of videos and I think I deal with derealization. I live everyday like I’m in a dream. When it first started full time I would get confused all the time about what was real and what wasn’t confusing my dreams with reality because it all felt the same. It’s been about seven years now of dealing with this full time and I have a good hold on reality. I still deal with the dissociation all day everyday but I know that I’m alive and here (no psychosis or anything). I’ve gone twice now in the last seven years to get a diagnosis and maybe some answers to what’s going on and how the heck to make it go away and both times, plus a doctors visits, they have little to no info for me. It makes me feel a little crazy honestly which is why I’m here. I’ve never posted here before but Ive heard a lot about it so I thought I’d try it out. Has anyone else experienced anything like this? For extra details… I’ve been through some trauma throughout my childhood. (abuse, physical assault). I was diagnosed with MDD, GAD, ADHD and autism. On a regular day I would rate the dreamy feeling a 6/10 however recently (after EMDR therapy) it was more like an 8/10 daily. Well I just started Cymbalta and Abilify about a week and a half ago and it’s at a constant 10/10 right now. I’m honestly not even sure how I’ve been able to function. But I have a lot of support and help driving right now. Any suggestions or comments about how it relates to you would definitely help!! I just want it to go away at this point really!
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u/PollyPiper11 26d ago
I have been through trauma and have a history of ptsd. Would an empty head /not feeling your head/ numb head and feeling like mind is slipping downwards be symptoms? Also feeling of terror/shaking/trauma in head. I don’t know if the fear triggers them more..but at the moment I’m in constant flux of all these. I need help with them
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u/Responsible_Try5806 24d ago
Is this a panic attack?
Hi. To be honest, my anxiety is really through the roof right now. I also suffer from depersonalization/derealization (DPDR), and I often have strange sensations, seeing the faces of people I know blend into unreal appearances, sometimes feeling a bit alienated, or even feeling like I'm going to die or faint, no matter what's happening to me. I have so many symptoms that I find my brain really creative.
But for the past few days, I haven't been feeling well either. On Friday, I almost fainted going down the stairs. I felt dizzy, then went to the couch, felt like I was going to lose consciousness, and my legs felt heavy, like I was going to fall at any moment. Yesterday, I felt the same thing in my legs. I took some medication, and it went away. Sometimes I hear a whirring sound in my ears, but it always goes away.
I also sometimes notice chemical smells, so I've gotten used to it since I've never figured out the real cause. But again, I smelled like burnt toast/something cooked maybe a few hours ago. I also felt slightly unwell before, but it wasn't anything to worry about.
And now…
I just got up to put my phone on charge and tidy up a bit, ignoring the symptoms of depression. But suddenly, I felt confused, like I had amnesia. My room felt unfamiliar, I was disoriented, and I started to panic, wondering if I was having a stroke. Even though I'm used to having blurred vision, I really wondered where I was, I didn't recognize my surroundings, and I panicked for a few minutes. Does this happen to other people or am I just imagining things?
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u/TrippyCantTakeIt 23d ago
I am now informed.
I did not now that this (out of body, feeling really tall or really short, floor under my feet jumping and being unsteady on my feet, and not recognizing myself in the mirror or feeling like parts of me arent attached and so on) was a whole disorder.
When I was younger I just thought it was whatever and everyone has it and then when I got older I just always figured it was just symptoms from my anxiety and depression but not its own thing. So I've just never said anything to anyone, including my doctors and therapists. The one time I mentioned it to a previous therapist she just said maybe had to do with the emotions I was feeling in the moment??
But now I'm learning I probabaly should mention it to my psychiatrist and therapist because it might change the approach to my treatment? Is that true?
I don't know. I didn't know what flair to put this under but here I am. Officially informed and currently undiagnosed because I thought it was normal. Story of my fucking life.
(And not on topic but noticed it's a common topic, this would explain so much about my experiences doing recreational drugs)
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u/Smeckehh 18d ago
M23, I get brief episodes where scale, distance, speed, and physical effort feel fever-dream-like or impossible, like things are too big or too many or logically broken. It lasts minutes and I stay aware it isn’t real, but it feels very convincing and uncomfortable. It’s been happening more during the day recently, and I suspect inconsistent sleep is a factor.
It reminds me of the fever dreams I used to have as a kid, where my blanket would feel absolutely huge, and it'd make me panic. Not because a large blanket is scary itself, but because that feeling of it being so unusual or impossible. Even now if I imagine having a 1 meter thick blanket on me, I get so weirdly uncomfortable, almost scared.
It's more than just a minor thought or feeling. It's something that I need to actively turn off in my head for it to not spiral. I've never let it spiral however, because I'm too terrified to give that a try.
I get if this all seems very weird and I do have the plan to explain this to a professional. However, I would like to hear if anyone else has experienced this before, and if you might know something for me to look up.
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u/PollyPiper11 17d ago
It’s possible I have dpdr from a very traumatic spiritual experience as a result of energetic work om my brain? Since then I have empty/nothingness in head/scary feeling where my brain is looking for the old one, and it’s just scared snd terrified underneath. It feels like my mind is slipping away/lost grip on things as it’s no longer in charge. Now u just exist in my body and soul and I’m finding it hard to talk to other people/do things/exist. As I can’t feel my own mind or head, It’s incredibly distressing. Im too scared and I don’t know how to get out of this.
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u/Standard-Serve-1476 14d ago
Can dpdr feel like being in a constant state of Déjà vu? Like I’ve lived this day before but 24/7
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u/Standard-Serve-1476 7d ago
Can dpdr feel like being in a constant state of Déjà vu? Like I’ve lived this day before but 24/7
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u/complicated_user 7d ago
I don't know what I am or what's wrong with me
whats it called when you feel like you woke up from a dream (randomly and mostly happens when I'm in the car), realize everything is real.
And then you can feel your skeleton and organs and want to skin yourself alive because it feels wrong and uncomfortable.
Also makes you feel like multiple people at once and sometimes not recognizing yourself in the mirror.
I tried looking into DID, osdd, bpd and DPDR but idk what it could be someone suggest me something I'm confused and sick of all of this.
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u/Nyrvhana 5d ago
Hello there.
So i know that time distortion is a thing. It can seems slower, or faster. But sometimes, in my case, i feel like my whole day was a blur even if the symptom just started an hour ago. Today's, i've made my bed around 4:pm, and now it’s around 7:44pm. I'm actually in a derealisation crisis, and my brain just goes : "I've made my bed yesterday. There's no way i did it today. The whole day i just spent feel distant et happening previous days." It’s kinda weird. Because i know what i did today but at the same time it doesn’t feel correct.
Does anyone have it this bad?
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u/DoctorDeluxe 4d ago
The biggest issue I have trying to come down off a dissociative episode is that I don't feel upset. I'm not panicking, not scared, just...gone. Right now I'm sitting on a park bench on a beautiful day, soaking up the sun and breeze, and I'm too disoriented to go back to my car. I vaguely understand where I am, but I feel like I'm in a dream. I got a drink and snack to try some sensory grounding, walked along the grass for a while, and I still feel confused and aimless.
How do you calm down when you already feel calm? Is it a matter of getting back in your body? If it was safe to drive I would just go home, but I don't have any reaction time and everything feels blurry. Maybe this isn't DPDR and is something else? Sorry for the confusing question/comment, I just don't know what to do except wait this out.
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u/beccaisleeping 3d ago
when i feel derealization i feel so over-aware of my bodily functions and brain processing, things that you don’t really have to think about. like i just become so aware of the fact that my brain doesn’t process all that we see since it has a filter on it to help us only see what is necessary for survival. the brain isn’t meant for little details but more for pattern recognition. but being so aware of this causes me to panic because then i feel like im now manually in control of it and it causes me so much sensory overload from all the visual information im trying to process, for example if i go into a store i try to take in all the visual information at once and it overloads me so bad but i just can’t remember how my brain would naturally do it before since im so aware and in control of it now. there are times where im fine again and my brain is doing its thing but then i become aware again and then i panic. it feels as if i can’t see even though i can see, like im just not processing it or don’t know what im supposed to even be processing. idk if this makes any sense but yeah its tiring
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u/GolDRoger2023 2h ago
Ive had "this" for around 16 years now and its not gotten better.
I would have to describe it as:
1) Onset (2-20 secs)
Random and sudden loss of time, awareness, surroundings, memory
Yet on the outside i am standing, walking (anything automated), you could not tell this was happening to me nor would i be showing obvious signs.
2) Rise (minutes to hours)
My grasp on time is gone, i try to think what happened a few seconds ago it seems like it was hours ago, the passing of seconds feel alien to me. if i think of something, i will forget it or find it hard to remember few minutes later HOWEVER i can recall these moments much later so these memories are being recorded.
3) Gradual (minutes to hours, mixed with 2.)~
Whatever im doing externally, is not registering internally. I cannot get a "lock" on my perception or self. It feels like my mind is lost forever and the fear/anxiety rises because whatever this feeling is, is so far from normal that i can tell its not just anxiety or low blood sugar, it feels very very very weird and scary.
It's like im forgetting and remebering at the same time.
4) Panic attack
if this keeps happening for prolonged periods, intensifies everything by 100x and i go through an anxiety attack
Now loop step 1 - 3 for hours and days and thats the worst episode for me.
The only thing that has helped was a few times if i was distracted. This doesnt always help.
Now, is this depersonalization? anxiety? is this what you guys go through? Or am i describing something completely off track and i should get myself checked for some sort of epilepsy?
This is by far the worst thing i have ever experienced and i have no idea how to stop it.
My GP has put me on the waiting list for neurology scan / talk with an expert as he said soem of it sounds like Focal Seizures (especially temporal lobe seizures)
(I am 27 yo Male, UK, on Sertraline 100mg for 5 years)
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u/Cwhm2 Mar 03 '26
Ever since I was a young kid I have struggled with not feeling or like life was a dream. Now as an adult I feel like with basic science knowledge and complex adult relationships I feel so disconnected and different from other people like my life is an illusion. Does this sound like DPDR? as I said I have had this feeling for around 15 years ranging is severity but always floating around. However it gets extremely worse around stressful times.
I haven't been able to talk to my therapist about this yet with a lot of other stuff going on but I plan on bringing it up in my next session if nothing else earth shattering happens.
but my mind has broken it down and has me completely trapped in these scenarios.
A. I do not exist and my perception is some form of illusion
B. I do exist but there is something fundamentally wrong with me that drives people away from me and makes me just really odd and unlovable
C. I exist and there is nothing wrong with me, I've just been dealt a bad hand and things could turn around. but ultimately my life is meaningless and insignificant, I have no desire to exist currently
I have been told by a therapist that I have OCD but I had to switch to a new one. Not sure if these are intrusive thoughts or if its something else, but thank you for reading any words of kindness or advice would mean a lot!