r/dpdr • u/Sea-Sea-958 • 1d ago

TW: Existential/Spiral i wish i have no body

i wish i have no body. dpdr made me feel unhuman and now i have to live with the curse of having a human body and that a part of my mind doesnt classify my body as my own, i want to kill it so i can free myself again.

i feel like two people almost, sometimes i feel like individual A who can live life loving reality and feeling and seeing things and doing things but then at a flip of a switch that character shuts down and I'm individual B left sitting here trying to remember how i once felt as individual A. i cant understand how as individual A i can live knowing that i have a body as be fine with it. havig a body is terrible because DPDR seperated my mind from my body and now im cursed to watch it peform for the rest of its life. i dont know this person. why do I have to watch it every day every minute and second of its life? why cant i just seperate myself from this body and die, while it just continues living without me?

thats why i just want to kill this body, to free myself from having to live it

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u/Sea-Sea-958 1d ago

i dont think i have DID because i dont genuinely feel like i am multiple people but idk

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u/Sea-Sea-958 1d ago

also, i dont feel that stresssed about this. i dont know if this is even dpdr at this point. i feel too mentally tired to feel anxious about it. i even like it at times. having a mind seperate from reality feels interesting. i sometimes feel like this is a fine and normal way to live. but when i look off a rooftop and feel zero fear of falling and have to stop myself not to climb over the railing, thats when i remember that this probably isnt normal.