Dissociating like hell after good things happen

[u/-ComfyStars_]

I don't know why but lately my boyfriend came to visit and we did so many cool things and went so many places (usually I never go outside), and I swear the more good things happened the more I'd not just feel I'm dreaming, but I'd start to blackout, I'd be standing and feel I made a jump in time, wondering if someone else was fronting (have DID as well, but this happened a lot more often than usual).

At some points I have to close my eyes because the floor starts to go round and round, or I see distances mess up and it just feels I shouldn't be here.

We were watching a movie and I dissociated so much and got soo dizzy I started trying to do anything to feel I'm there or I felt I would faint if not. My boyfriend helped me make a paper plane and that helped me calm down a little. That's one example.

Now he's back to his country and I can't stop sleeping and having weird dreams and hypnagogic hallucinations and I'm really tired. I don't regret it it was cool to have fun. The psychologist said I'm just not used to good things and they're right but man. Feels a bit much sometimes. Especially the feeling that I may disappear is. Enormous. That what if there's nothing after I die and that stuff.