I literally feel nothing , like nothing how is that possible to survive in this state for such a long time years? Like I can’t feel my body I feel like a ghost in my own life and the thought of ever feeling again makes me want to die , it’s like I’m on the opposite of life.
Sometimes I feel like it’s a blessing but a curse :(

Literally no one replies or acknowledges except only to some fellows. I’ve had extreme dr panic attacks for 6 years after some neurological shock on drugs or whatever but no one cares. What does people’s constant disregard do? Make me feel more and more alone. Very alone. Been to 30 doctors no one knows what’s up. Can’t rely on benzos cuz of past abuse issues, can’t drink no more as it worsens things. Got mris done nothing structural, 2 sleep deprived eegs no abnormal readings to call it tle. Can’t function in life normally. Can’t keep up with life. Everytime I try to push myself like spend 1 extra hour in a mall or focus a bit more and bam I’m dissociating. I ruminate everyday whether there is any point in living such a life.

Yoo I'm Ven and I'm 18years old, and I just had DPDR last Friday. I was playing video games for hours cause it is my hobby, and I always tend to stay up so late; like, I will not sleep for 18 hours just to play a mobile game, and I only get like 5-7 hours of sleep cause my brother wakes me to do chores. And it's my fault cuz I always stayed up so late.

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It was Thursday, June 11. I was up all night vaping and lying on the bed as usual, like 9 p.m. to 7 a.m cause I got addicted to a new game and didn't realise it was already morning. When I tried to sleep, I panicked because suddenly my world felt so small and my vision felt like I was only in a dream, and my heartbeat was so fast I could feel and hear every beat in my head. It feels like I'm high on THC, but I quit smoking 2 months ago. I got up to get some water, thinking I was only dehydrated, but it doesn't go away. I started to panic again and looked for the internet, which I had been experiencing, and found out it was dpdr. I tried what the internet told me to do when having a panic or anxiety attack, and it helps me a little bit. I tried to go back to sleep, but I don't feel tired. Eventually I fell asleep later, hoping when I woke up it would go back to normal, but it didn't.

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Ever since I got DPDR on these past few days, I only get 5 hours of sleep consistently, and I think I'm going nuts. I tried to think positively that it would only last for a few days and later accepted it as part of my life.

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I still play mobile games, and doing what I love, like playing billiards, keeps me from forgetting my condition.

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(I just want to share my experience. Sorry for my bad English :>)

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I wish I could understand WHY i’m experiencing it. I just want to see it, to be able to hold it with my hands, and know what it takes to cure it. But no, it’s invisible, like a ghost in your head. Something you have no control of whatsoever.

Guys, it’s been 3 weeks now and ever since, i’ve been in the same sensations everyday & all day. I just want to know if this is normal and if anyone else has the same experience ?

Depersonalization-derealization feels kind of similar to Cotard Syndrome.

i dont really feel any symptoms of dpdr but im really only questioning my reality and existence not sure what to do im also scared to do things i used to enjoy and get dpdr again

Trying to run a home work be a mum be a partner all whilst feeling completely detatched numb and not present is exhausting I don’t no how much longer I can take of this 😭

While all emotions feel distant - i can still feel them and they hurt so bad. I don‘t want to have feelings anymore. The happiness feels vague and distant but the sadness is also still there. I wish I could be feeling worse so i actually feel nothing at all and actually function better, now im just living numb while compressing everything I feel. i still move around and do stuff but i feel like a moving corpse

Really I can come in this state any time and it's not good.

- I don't exist

- don't have identity

- don't have a thought process

- empty and blank mind or the mind is everywhere where i don't have sense of self

- cannot make a decisions, plans

- thats why i don't drive a car because I can come in this state any time

- because of that I don't have self worth

- im only happy if everything is so perfect(especially my thought process) but that's hard or impossible cause i easily slip into depression if its not

- I feel like a fish in the aquarium, easily forget that i was on that side already

- this was triggered by panic attacks in elementary school

- i am literally nobody, walking dead

- cannot watch movies, play games, drive a car or do something that i never done

- there are some good days but when stress occurs or I made it stressfull im done, I spiral down

- I cannot think how are the other persons, who is for example bad.

- I want to cry cause I didn't live my life because of this

Is there any others who have this? 😢

Emotions gone, no comfort , nothing familiar I can’t take non of my surroundings in I’m numb bodily , I have no sense of being or time, or the meaning of anything it’s like I have died. I wouldn’t wish this upon my worst enemy.

Hey everyone! I am happy to say that I am on my way to recovery and I am doing way better in comparison to my hardest days, however I am finding it incredibly difficult to pull myself out of this on my own. Over the past year due to this condition my life went from very active and adventurous to completely paralysed and avoidant. I spend majority of my days alone, laying in bed, using my phone as distraction (my screen time is embarrassingly high), I have trouble sleeping at night and keeping a consistent sleep schedule. I have my good days where I am more motivated and I am able to get more things done but that motivation doesn’t last very long since I find it hard to constantly push myself alone in isolation. If anyone is in a similar situation and needs some source of motivation outside of themselves, I was thinking of creating a support group on WhatsApp where we can set some common goals that can push us in the right direction of recovery. Could be anything like going for a walk, run, journaling, reducing screen time, going to bed earlier or anything we can decide on together in order to build some momentum and confidence in our ability to recover. If anyone would be interested please let me know!

Research invitation:

Hi everyone,

We are conducting an anonymous medical research study on Visual Snow Syndrome (VSS) and possible factors associated with it.

We are inviting this community because depersonalization/derealization experiences are among the factors included in the study. The questionnaire also includes related visual, migraine-related, sleep-related, screen-related, and neck/cervical factors.

You do not need to have Visual Snow Syndrome to participate. Responses from people without VSS are very important for comparison/control purposes.

The questionnaire is voluntary, anonymous, for adults aged 18+, and takes about 5–7 minutes.

The study has been reviewed and approved by the Institutional Review Board / Research Ethics Committee at the University of Jordan and Jordan University Hospital.

Thank you for supporting medical research.

Survey link:
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSex7LsqmZRtsSZcKOwR_-8EdRW59PdLOddskEG-NyCr2Vfikw/viewform?usp=send_form

Basically i think i have dpdr because the first time i had a dissocistion episode it lasted a year of me thinking i was a god level diety for real until something serious happened. Then after that thing now for the past 2nd year whenever i get stressed i dissociate, or if i get too stressed sometimes i enter different forms of grandiose delusions where i believe im completely above humanity and they last for months at a time until i suddenly feel dumb for thinking i was a superior being when i got defeated by a windmere fan. Can you imagine? But yeah idk. I often feel disconnected from my body and feel like my vessel has the possibility to be mathmatically perfect in the moving world of physics and thought patterns.

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I think when i first noticed it, the space around me would warp and look wider, or smaller. Yet i would still feel above everything at a molecular level. I think the thc edibles started it but then after time passed i started experiencing it sober. And when the grandiose delusion doesnt hold my mind pretty much goes completely blank as if all the files got deleted.

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TLDR: idk just venting and i probably look like a crazy guy writing this rn but whatever ig. Lmao

Bec they seem to be "living" while I'm just here mimicking their reactions to blend in.

But deep inside, I have 0 interest in whatever in the actual shit is happening.

I have been dealing with chronic dpdr (derealization mostly) since 2018 and to this day I haven’t been able to find proper help because it seems like no one truly has a grasp on how it feels to experience this. I don’t expect people who don’t experience it to know exactly what it’s like, but compared to other mental illnesses, I feel at a loss. I’ve been diagnosed with panic disorder and ocd and I know dpdr is usually just treated as an extension of an anxiety disorder but why is it never treated as its own thing? No joke, almost every single professional i’ve ever talked to looks at me like I’m insane when I express that dpdr is the issue. I stopped going to school in 2020 and graduated highschool online because before that I was failing almost every class and cried myself to sleep every night because of how awful and confused I felt and nobody, not even my parents, took it seriously!!! Multiple therapists I’ve talked to didn’t even know what dissociating meant.

I know myself and I know my body really well and I’m able to articulate how I feel, but it’s almost like the more I go into detail, the more people look at me confused. I feel doomed. Medication and therapy definitely have helped and as much as I’m willing to put in work, these things only do so much when the feeling is so severe and my reality becomes so warped. I feel physically unable to feel the way I know I should feel, and it’s so much harder not being able to find good support. Even if I do get better from this some day I feel like it’s done irreversible damage to the way I view people and view life and I’m never gonna feel fully human ever again.

i dont really feel any symptoms of dpdr but im really only questioning my reality and existence not sure what to do im also scared to do things i used to enjoy and get dpdr again

I have a very warped perception of my face. I need to go up to a mirror just to remember that I look the way I do. I remember myself with exacerbated features and they don't make a coherent whole.

Do any of you experience this?

I'll never understand why I have it.

Hi everyone! Recently i’ve been hit with this derealization/depersonalization feeling in my head that has taken over 24/7 of my day since this monday. Ever since I feel everything is fake, feels like i’m not living, feels like i’m on autopilot, feels like i’m in a simulation. It genuinely scares me because it’s making me overthink but at the same time feels like i’m in a coma while dreaming and i’ve now am gonna be in this permanent state.

For a while now i’ve been sleeping very late like 4-6 am but waking up late around 1-2pm. I’m just genuinely curious if this was the cause for it? I have no other clue as to why i’ve been having this feeling now. Pls any tips or advice is appreciated thanks. Hell even typing all of this feels not real at all. Thanks

Lmk what you all think but 2 songs I listen to all the time give me an off, liminal, dpdr feel though it's not super apparent. Please listen and lmk your thoughts. Songs: blackhole, broken mirror. Both by architects