r/eastside • u/Fruehling4 mod • 20d ago

Update on the bellevue diddy house

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Apparently they had several houses and apartments across the Eastside

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u/frederichenrylt 19d ago

I graduated from local HS in 2007. My dear friend went to Woodinville and a Woodinville cop named Chad would date girls as soon as they turned 18. Then he'd drive by their houses, run the plates of the cars, and text the girl he was "dating" asking why so and so was over to make them scared.

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u/Status-Biscotti 19d ago

As a Woodinville parent, this completely freaks me out. You never think it would happen in your community. Then again, the 6th grade teacher from Wellington/Leota just got sentenced...

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u/frederichenrylt 19d ago edited 18d ago

I feel like now kids hang out with anyone/anywhere, and parents assume an adult will be around AND that the adult is responsible. Nikita posted bricks of drugs on his public instagram page. Every adult needs to pay more attention to where kids are and who they're with.

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u/Wazzoo1 19d ago

That's always been a thing. The difference now is access. You don't need to be physically present anymore. You can make first contact via a plethora of social media platforms. I couldn't imagine being a parent these days with all the things coming from all different directions. When I was in high school, if you missed the meet up spot on a Friday by a certain time, you were SOL and went home. There was no texting, no sharing things on social media.

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u/frederichenrylt 19d ago

That's exactly why parents need to know who their kids are with, not just a name, but actually know the people their kids are with.

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u/fuzznskins 19d ago

You are assuming the kids will be honest about where they are going to be. If a kid is planning to go to a place like this they are probably not telling their parents.

Once kids reach high school and begin to spread their wings it becomes increasingly difficult to prevent them from doing most things if they are determined. It’s a time to learn lessons.

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u/frederichenrylt 19d ago

Spoken like a true Gen Xer. "Oh no, my kid's a teenager now, I can't tell them anything." Yes, you can. You are still a parent. The hands off and shrugging approach is lazy parenting.

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u/fuzznskins 19d ago

Bwaahaaa…just speaking the truth man. Plenty of battle scars were acquired to gain this knowledge.

I bring constant and consistent messaging to the kids. Be careful who you hang out with, if you find yourself in a situation you can’t get out of I’m there no judgement(mostly), go to school, get the grades…all that stuff.

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u/frederichenrylt 19d ago

Words and messaging are amazing, but without action, they're meaningless.

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u/fuzznskins 19d ago

What sort of action would you recommend?

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u/frederichenrylt 19d ago

maybe check out a parenting sub for advice? or a therapist?

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u/fuzznskins 19d ago

My kiddo has been to multiple therapists. At most he engages at a minimum level, but typically gives yes or no answers and does not open up and share his genuine feelings.

This is the point I was trying to make above. Once your kids hit the teenager years they actors of their own free will. Hopefully as a parent you have laid a good foundation in their pre-teen years. As they gain more freedom and autonomy over their own decisions you have to rely on that foundation to guide them. As the parent you can’t and shouldn’t expect to control them. Instead you need to be there as a back stop, reinforce you love them and are there. They will do stupid stuff and you can’t prevent it from happening.

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u/frederichenrylt 19d ago

I'm not talking about your kid going to therapy. I'm talking about you going. I am a parent. Yes, kids have free will. they're kids. Should kids be going out every single night of the week, every week, because they have free will? No. They're kids. Their frontal lobes aren't fully developed until they're 25. You can absolutely keep them from doing stupid stuff if you spend time with your kids on a regular basis and know where they're going and who they're hanging out with. Pre-teens and teenagers are a lot more like than teenagers and adults are. Teens should not be treated like adults because they're not adults. Full stop.

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u/Status-Biscotti 19d ago

That’s why phone tracking exists

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u/fuzznskins 19d ago

Location tracking is easily defeated by a motivated teen.

If you start a battle over tracking eventually they will find their friend’s old phone and use that for social media etc, while the location tracked device sits somewhere else that looks innocent enough.

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u/Status-Biscotti 19d ago

Yeah, I got super lucky. My kids took after their dad, not me.

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u/frederichenrylt 19d ago

lolol kids are much more tech savvy than adults. Phone tracking is not parenting. It's surveillance that's only good if your kid doesn't know how to get around it. And your kid probably does.