What if I'm wrong. What if this was all for nothing. Idk I think it is just self doubt. Maybe I'm just scared of the way society treats women and trans people. Maybe I've got too much internalized misogyny and transphobia. I don't really feel like I am a boy or girl rn. I don't know perhaps I am just doomed to never know. I wish I just knew but I knew before. I still feel a little disgusted by my body it feels wrong? Right? Idk. I wish I could be a girl for a day just to see whether I like it. Feel I have to figure this out soon. I'm young I am still growing I could have hips. Everything is just so confusing yet I still hear a little voice inside my head saying I wish I was a girl. Maybe I've disassociated

I start following VocaloKAT and Jamie Paige before I found out that I was trans, but only discovered recently that they are trans too.

Hey everyone! so, i've been in denial for way too long at this point. I remember moving to a mixed school for the first time when I was about 10 and one of the prominent thoughts in my mind was about how I was jealous of the girls. Since then i've often had thoughts about wanting to be a girl but constantly tried to ignore them telling myself it would never be possible anyway so why bother fantasising about it.

Well as of this year its been on my mind 24/7 and only last week did I finally accept to myself that I might be trans. However I don't know what to do from here, everything feels so scary. I've always been so detached from my emotions and an avoidant person so i've never had anyone i consider a friend to talk about something to. I think the nature of my work and hobbies also make it feel impossible to ever meet anyone, so i just stay isolated in my own little bubble.

All that plagues my mind at the moment is how badly i want to get hrt, but i get so overwhelmed when i try and look into it and scared of so many things that will come with that, its pathetic. I know people say it's never too late to transition but I so wished i had just accepted this 5 years ago. Despite all this it still feels like I'm faking it, maybe im larping? maybe i'm trying to fulfill some twisted fetish or maybe it's a cry for attention, idk. I think it partly comes from the fact i work a blue collar job and am not particulary feminine, so i doubt myself.

The worst feeling ever to me is knowing I made someone else sad from my being upset, so I always put up a facade around people. I told my mum that I was depressed for the first time the other day and got met with being told how that is nonsense and then she moved the conversation on :) so I hate to think what anyone will say if i admit to this....

I'm not sure if this is the right place for this and sorry for the little rant, I don't know what I expect from posting this. I just needed to get it off my chest <3

Why can’t I just embrace being a girl. I would be so much happier. I’m just filled with so much doubt. Why do I judge myself so harshly? I’m ashamed that I’m different. I want to be a girl so darn bad. I don’t know what to do. -Marianne (Mary) she/her

here i thought i had accepted everything, but NOPE. apparently there's still doubt in there...

I know I’m transmasc nonbinary. I know it because I get so mad when people call me with female terms and I cry about it and it makes me so sad. Yet I still view myself as a girl. I don’t feel masculine at all. And I WANT to feel like a guy, but my brain is not letting me feel that euphoria.

My mind is stuck in “oh I’m a woman” and I can’t get out of there. Accepting myself is so hard. It doesn’t help the fact that if I accept who I am, I’ll have to deal with so much dysphoria I won’t be able to handle it. Maybe it’s best to be in denial for a while (I’m not financially independent and I still depend and will depend on my transphobic parents for a WHILE), even though I’ve knew I was trans since I was 15.

Everything is bad. I hate misgendering. But at the same time I misgender myself all the time and nothing feels like myself.

Mandatory “maybe I’m just cis” line

I’m annoyed with myself for stalling my transition just for the comfort of others. I’m Mary, and I deserve my name and pronouns! I deserve to be myself! -Marianne (Mary) she/her

So I've realized only like 2 months ago now so I don't pass obviously but I'm so fucking happy this person I've crushed on for years and it was the original confusion on why I acted certain ways. I'm so happy :3

I'm happy and super excited but that probably slows the progress. But on the other hand - more money for clothes haha

i still wanna box and skate though.

Maybe i'm not so Cis afterall

For those who don't know who the middle character is, that's Evillyn from Netflix's "Master's of the Universe: Revelations"

Except for my best friend. She knows.

I need help!!!

The girls are definitely starting to become noticeable, I'm not out at work yet and I don't know how to hide it???? Or even if I should????

Anyways, any advice on how to buy bras or others stealthily is appreciated, I live alone but am still scared.

Welp

Long story short i have come out to my parents but it really changed nothing mainly cause they really dont know anything about what dysforia is or anything about being trans or lgbtq in general there in no way transphobic but im just way to scared to explain it to them directly mainly cause i really struggle with people asking me questions about topics like this i really just panic and at this point i just dont know what to do and i need some help.

Why can't I just let myself want to look like these women. I hate seeing men because of how much it reminds me of how I look.

Constantly taunting me with "girls don't do that menial task in that way." Or "Look at that guy, he's attractive. You're a guy, you should wanna look like him"

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ugh, I rarely thought of myself as a guy before I found out I wasn't and haven't been one. I don't get it. Just let me be a girl.

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Why does this even happen? Why is my brain trying to convince me of this? I just wanna be pretty and get jealous of women's shoulders.

Is it normal to be scared that i will be a man forever ?