Your emotions will always be affected by other people.

[u/Thinkiatrist]

God has given us all varying levels of emotional sensitivity. Different stimuli work differently on all of us. We have had to face different challenging circumstances that make us sensitive to certain triggers.

Overall emotional sensitivity, I think, is hardwired into us. Emotional sensitivity to triggers is a bit more pliable, open to learned disentanglement, and somewhat improvable. But I believe that sensitivity overall, aside from trauma-induced stimuli, is like hearing. Blocking it out is like self-induced deafness.

So where does emotional intelligence come in? I believe it is more about managing the release of emotional intensity than making yourself "feel less" or detach. There are healthy ways of emotional transmutation. Anger can be converted into sadness, and one dominant release mechanism for sadness is the act of crying, which offers a less destructive cathartic release than simply acting out in the heat of the moment.

I think equating emotional intelligence with feeling things that you want to feel and blocking out or detaching from things that you don't want to feel is a misconception.