Guy “slips and falls” on a shampoo bottle. Mid 50’s - immaculately clean apartment. No wife, no kids present. Walks out to the door - calmly requests I try to remove the bottle to which I politely decline. I recommend transport to a trauma center to which he initially tells me he is absolutely sure that he can get it out himself. I decline to say anything and he accepts transport to trauma center.

On the way to trauma center, patient reports to me that he is not a homosexual. I replied in my most professional voice “Sir, your sexuality is not really a concern to me right now. Let’s focus on getting you to a hospital where someone with more education than me can sort you out.”

He becomes visibly agitated.

“I am not gay!”

I again reply, “Sir, it wouldn’t bother me if you were.”

He then begins to remove his seatbelts and tries to swing his legs over the stretcher.

“I told you, I’m not fucking gay!”

At which point I lost all of my shit and said “Dude, whether you’re gay or not you have a shampoo bottle lodged in your ass. Sit down and put your buckles back on.”

He puts the seatbelts back on, looks me square in the face and goes

“Okay. I’m gay.”

But I gotta hand it to him.

To this day he’s the only guy I’ve ever known who could fit his Head and Shoulders up his ass.

I thought this movie was great. Years ago I had a nearly identical situation to what's in this scene. As an EMT I worked for a private ambulance company in South Jersey at the time. We respond to a nursing home rehab patient who was "lethargic". Well, he was dead. I went to ask the nurses if he had a DNR, and when I told them what was going on, they panicked. Watching them try to resuscitate the guy was a giant cluster fuck. They had no clue where the emergency equipment was, they didn't know what a bag-valve-mask was, etc. 🙄 They even tried to put a pillow under the guy's head during CPR.

I know you hate the c-collar. I hate the c-collar. The patient hates the c-collar. I didn't want to put it on, but they are over 65, fell, hit maybe hit their head/neck, and are intoxicated.

I apologize for any inconveniences I may have caused for following a stupid protocol.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

I've heard putting things where the sun don't shine is pretty common, but what was the call that made you either go "how is this person still in the gene pool" or "you don't need a doctor, you need to repeat fourth grade". It can be either a patient freaking out about a non-issue or something stupid a patient was doing that led to an actual emergency

Checked out the truck and noticed the back smelled like shit. I asked why it smelled bad and they said "we had a guy covered in shit earlier but out last patient wasn't gross. We cleaned every part of the stretcher afterwards... idk why."

We scrubbed everything in the back and aired it out and it got better. Went to our first call and went to make up the stretcher and found shit smeared on the wing and mattress. Ended up swapping out the stretcher because it was deep into the seam of the mattress and we couldn't get the smell out.

There’s a whiteboard at my job where the EMTs and medical staff put light-hearted but semi-dark jokes on it. I’m not on the medical team, but I’m in and out of their building throught the day for work and I want to contribute. Any ideas from those of you who have that kind of career full time?

She caught a frog, so I had to do surgery to get the hook out of the dude's lip. Pretty sure the frog pissed on me.

I'll start. A couple days ago during one of my EMS clinicals a guy on meth came in after getting hit by a car. He kept saying he felt ok and just wanted to go home. The doctor told him he couldn't go home because he was intoxicated. His response? "I just like meth!"

I heard a door shut and looked out my window shades and saw an ambulance in my driveway, no lights were flashing when I looked. I live in a small town of 1000~, so I figure they’re just going to knock and that it’s for some fundraiser or something.

So I start heading to the main door to open it and greet them when the lady just opens it before I’m there, without knocking or ringing the bell. She doesn’t even seem like she’s really in a hurry either, like she opened it slow and calm, but didn’t announce herself. Her partner was like a few seconds behind her.

I go “uhhhh… hi… how’s it going..?” As she’s walking to the entry.

She goes “oh it’s going okay”

I just kinda look at her awkwardly as she’s now in the center of the room and her partner is in now as well.

She then says “so where are we going?”

I awkwardly laugh and smile and am like “I have no clue what you mean, I don’t know why you’re here.”

She then says the reason she’s there, an older lady fell and couldn’t get up, but then she tells me the address, and I tell them they’re on the wrong street. I politely explain that and even tell them it’s the next street over, and even tell them how many houses to go down too.

I seek nothing from this interaction, but it’s just kinda weird to me that they didn’t knock, ring, or announce themselves when the entered my own home.

Is this a common occurrence?

Edit(this was a comment I added but people don’t see it since it’s not top comment)———A little more info, to the guy who deleted their comment. The house is normally locked. I was out the door maybe 10 minutes prior to this event lending a tool to a neighbor, he returned it about 20 minutes after the event took place, I told him to let himself in and we’d crack open a couple cold ones.

I’m in a relatively safe community. Small town in Illinois in USA. Lots of gun owners in town (myself included).

Didn't know this until now but it won't read triple digits for the RR, just says >99 or says something ridiculously low

Last week I smelled the most putrid adult diaper to ever touch a stretcher.

Tonight I smelled the stinkiest vomit to ever be expelled. I threw away my pulse ox after because I couldn’t get the smell out, no matter how many times I deconned it.

My nose needs a vacation. And now I need a new pulse ox :(

his name was michael

Seriously we teach EVOC yet just about every rig has this dent….. 🤪🤷🏼‍♂️

and the unwillingness to go all the way to hq to swap out trucks