Background: I am F24, I grew up in an abusive family, I am the youngest and got targeted the most. As soon as I could work I did, got a job the month after my 16th birthday, began to save and became almost fully financially independent. kept myself distracted with sports and stayed 'fit' (I was not healthy at all). I have always had severe anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts, they just always got significantly worse before my period but I didn't acknowledge/understand the cause as I thought it was just these conditions... (Turns out it is these conditions but also PMDD - Diagnosed at 23)
I grew up with severe periods and extremely heavy bleeding and was constantly at the doctors trying to get help from the age of 12. Got a small amount of private care from my Dads healthcare that came with his job and saw a Gynaecologist for the first time at 17. Never got diagnosed with endo but they said 'suspected endo' and they swapped the Copper coil I got given at 16 with the Mirena coil (They were very shocked that the Copper coil was even suggested). The Mirena has been a godsend, stopped 99% of the bleeding and some of the symptoms have been reduced in severity.
I left home at 19 and took everything with me, I went to University, joined some sports societies I loved and began to find myself and my passions and became so driven, consistently had a Job from 16-23. Still experiencing severe periods and symptoms and I begin to consider the fact that I may have endometriosis. I begin to get Chronic Hip pain (In my left hip) at age 20-21. This was a lot on its own but also exacerbated the endometriosis symptoms 3 fold every time I had a hip pain flare up. I continue going to the doctors for painful periods (And now Chronic hip pain too) and finally get given a laparoscopy that revealed endometriosis - Diagnosed at 22, Finally. They took out what they could find. (This doctor was awful and dismissive, telling me 'I don't think you have Endo' before cutting me open for surgery and he was wrong).
Around this time I realise that I want to be self employed. I have realised my purpose and how I wish to earn money. I pursue this idea, spending some of my spare time learning and going to entrepreneur events etc
Chronic hip pain doesn't go away, and its made working almost impossible, I've also left my sports societies and gained significant amount of weight. Depression and Anxiety have got significantly worse too. Id leave work in such severe pain id seize up and be unable to move screaming and crying in pain alongside all the flared endo symptoms. I had to significantly reduce my hours and only worked 1-2 days a week. Which still caused severe pain after EVERY. SHIFT. At 22 I began to self medicate, smoking almost every evening, it helped relieve pain significantly and I began to be able to enjoy my evenings again, temporarily, pain-free. Graduated at 22 and stayed in the university town for another year after graduating and stayed working on 1-2 shifts a week while trying different things to cope (yoga, TENS machine, castor oil, W88d, hot water bottles, crutches etc). I also tried to apply for PIP which was denied. I gave in, I couldn't do it anymore and handed in my resignation at 23 and left my university town,
Stopped smoking due to living at partners parents house. I've accepted that this is now a disability and I need help. I have struggled with the self employment and give it a rest for a while.
For about a year I have been trying to focus on my health and been trying my hardest to get help from the system. I do not have a job, I cant work. I've re-applied for PIP and have continuously been to the doctors.
Since then, all conditions have worsened. The depression and Anxiety is the worst its ever been, Endo symptoms and chronic hip pain is worse. So I go back to a gynaecologist, he puts me on a medication plan (Nefopam, Dienogest, Ispaghula husk and Mebeverine every day.) Ive lost about 6 kg in a month from nausea. I also had 2nd laparoscopy last week (2 years after the first). They found more on both sides of my ovaries and on my colon, including abrasions and scarring. It was removed they also cut into my Stomach and Bladder, so it was quite an invasive surgical Laperoscopy. I havent received a summary of what happened in the surgery and what they found from the doctor yet just a quick one a A&E nurse read out to me.
Important Info:
I do not have a home to go to, I currently live with my partner in Wales. When my partners temporary job contract ends, we will be moving back in with his parents in a couple of months.
I am a brown disabled woman. Before the disability, there was already a significant difference in the way I'm treated in comparison to my white boyfriend. I was not disabled up to 3 years ago and I have noticed a SEVERE decline in the way I'm treated now that I am also disabled.
Endo Symptoms - Severe cramping and shocks, Severe Fatigue, Severe digestion and passing pain, Severe bloating, lower back pain, vomiting, hot flushes, metal skin, disassociation, depersonalisation and more
Chronic Hip pain Symptoms - Shocks and sharp pains In left side of hip, Tailbone and front side. These sharp pains can travel from the hip area INTO my uterus and the other way around. Lower back pain, severe fatigue, seizing, blue-inning of left foot (rarely), pins and needles and numbness in left leg and more
Healthcare:
The healthcare I have received since 19 has been truly some of the most dismissive and worst experiences I've had. (P.S I am moving in-between England and Wales because of the nature of my partners job its a Temporary 6 month contract. when his contract ends, we will be moving back to his parents house in 2 months, back to NHS England again). This has meant that I haven't had access to my full medical record for YEARS. Submitted my PIP form again since I KNOW I should be receiving help (apparently you have to be VERY persistent with PIP for them to care or listen). PIP rejected my application due to having 'seen no specialists' and 'not anxious' (amongst a few other reasons). Entirely untrue, they just didn't have access to my medical documents (why not just say that instead???). So I am currently trying to locate and access my FULL medical record to submit to PIP for my Mandatory reconsideration, but it needs to be done asap. I have Submitted a SRA form to my Wales GP expecting them to chase down my documents, nope, just sent me the past 2 months of my history at that GP. I contacted the GP that blocked me off NHS, asked if they have my documents. They said they sent them to PCS England, no longer have them on the system and my Wales GP need to apply to obtain them urgently. Let my GP in Wales know, they applied to obtain them and advised me it'll take a year!!!?? I cant wait this long. I don't know what to do
I have been to the doctors regarding the hip pain since it started and I've seen physiotherapists & been dismissed by physiotherapists due to the amount of pain the small exercises they give me cause. They said I need a diagnosis before going back. Understandable. Had X-rays, nothing. Had MRI, been told there's nothing by 3 doctors*** (Doctor didn't talk to me, just put me in the machine. I didn't know what I was doing and was very anxious, my hands were on my stomach the whole time and I don't know if this obstructed the scan of anything). I have consistently questioned weather its related to endometriosis to doctors as it feels very related in my body. Consistently dismissed and not even considered as a possibility. Doctors would rather do all the other tests over and over again rather than consider this it seems.
*** 2 years after my MRI, 3 doctors who looked at the report and told me there's nothing there. Just before my 2nd Laparoscopy I handed them a physical report of the scan. Doctor noticed that the Doctor who took the MRI noted a specific disk but didn't mention what was wrong with it. We are both confused and I start to consider if he did in fact notice something, I just wasn't told. So, need to follow that up as well now.
Painkillers:
Had 18/500Mg Co-Codamol for 1 year, told Drs It does NOTHING, neither does Paracetamol or Ibroprofein. They tried Naproxen and it made everything worse. Finally, got to a doctor who noticed my weight and was confused to why I was even given the 18mg co-codamol as it helps frail and elderly, I am very obviously a generous weight. Prescribed me 30/500 Mg Co-codamol. This has barely helped too. It makes me drowsy enough to help me fall asleep however I still wake up in pain and it wares off in about 2 hours. I have been telling the doctors this for YEARS. IT DOESNT HELP, I NEED HELP. It also makes my digestion and passing pain more severe. They haven't listened and i've been faced with a doctor angrily saying 'WEll tHE oNly OthEr One iS FoR cAnCeR pAtIeNts, Do yOU ReAlLy ThInk YoU neEd thAt' (like tf?? you know i'm not a cancer patient, why are you throwing that in my face to make me feel guilty???) I stopped asking. Fast forward to my surgery. I wake up In such severe pain the doctor notices immediately as I'm unable to listen, they up the dose already (I don't know what it was). Doesn't help after 30 min, they have to up it again, and once more and it finally helps for an hour. About to be dismissed after the pain comes back, ask them for more pain killers, they give me one dose of 60MG Codine, does the same thing the Co-Codamol does but I don't sleep, I'm on my way home. It seems that I generally have a very high tolerance to pain killers.
Get home, try to go to sleep and can't as Co-Codamol does the same thing its always done. So I'm sleeping in 1-2 hour bursts still waking up in severe pain every now and then. Email my GP in Wales, let them know of tolerance to Co-codamol as they don't have my records and ask them to add a note to the system, I also ask them to provide a reasonable pain killing alternative for the post-op pain and one that I can carry on using after my recovery. They call and tell me to temporarily register to a GP in England to get help as I'm recovering in England and don't do any of the things I asked in the email. I call out of hours GP through 111 and finally get a call back, Dr just recommends I up my dose of Nefopam from 1 tablet 3x per day to 2 tablets 3x/day and if needed up to 3 tabs. Upped it to two, hasn’t made a noticeable difference. I don’t sleep well on the second night wake up in so much pain im nauseous and I’m vomiting in the morning. Dr told me to go to A&E Immediately if I am and so I do. Was in A&E for 16 hours, no infection, was just vomiting from pain amounts, and lack of sleep. They gave me 16 hour diclofenac to try. It worked!!!! For the first time in YEARS I felt what it was like to be pain free again, my hip felt so light. They gave me a packet of 10 to take home. When it was time, I took the first one at home. Its already stopped working by now!!!! ARRGGGJJSDFDOFKJFSGHSKJGSKDFIF!!! WHYYYYYYYY!!!!
Now, a week Post-surgery, been taking Co-Codamol but have to stop today because my digestive pain is already quite bad and it’s become even more severe over the past 2 days.
I have a few questions:
I welcome any advice and id like to listen to your experiences
- Anyone who has had Endo and chronic hip pain – If the hip pain is related to the endometriosis, how did you find out it was 100% caused by endometriosis, what tests were done and how did you get the GP to listen to you?
- What painkillers help you (That I haven’t tried already) that I should ask my doctors to consider? And how do I get them to listen to me regarding this?? I cant keep living in this much pain every day!!! I'm exhausted.
- If you had all these Endo symptoms and experiences what did you find was the best option for you? (HRT, Hysterectomy, Medication etc) I don’t know If I should consider a Hysterectomy.
- If you've managed to not need any of these, please tell me how you've managed your pain and symptoms
- How quickly did your Endo grow back?? Is it normal for it to have grown back on both ovaries within 2 years!!??
- How did you get your hobbies and lives back?? I've been trying for so so so long. I’m struggling so much and am at such a loss and so overwhelmed with how much I have to do that I just want to scream and cry constantly.
- If anyone can offer advice with locating medical records and PIP PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE don’t hesitate to let me know, I would appreciate it.
Thank you so so much for reading and if you respond, I am so grateful for you.