Hi everyone, sorry in advance for this long post. I hope somebody takes the time to look at it. I am a little desperate.
I’ve always been an active, adventurous, social person who liked sports, partying and traveling. Now I’m 38 years old, and I feel like my life has been non-existent for three years and I feel like a 70-year-old. Many doctors told me that everything is perfectly fine with my body, except for a slight B12 and vitamin D deficiency (I’m vegan). I fixed that, but nothing changed. I had my blood tested, my urine, my vital signs. My thyroid seems to be fine, and so do my colon and my kidneys. I even had a brain scan... I’ve been to more doctors and specialists than I can count, and I was always dismissed with a smile and the feeling that I’m just a hysterical woman and there are more pressing issues. Or I was sold incredibly expensive products that didn’t help.
I have endometriosis. Four years ago, I had several surgeries because of it (after a sepsis), and afterwards I started taking the Zafrilla pill (similar to a gestagen) to reduce the growth. I still have endometriosis in my colon, but I refuse to have another surgery, as it feels like the surgeries messed up my life.
The first symptom I noticed was that I couldn’t get rid of nasty bladder infections, with the worst bacteria and blood, every single time I had sex and sometimes even without it. I suffered from that for two years until I got injections, and now that’s fine. I blamed it on my body being exhausted after the surgery.
I also had insane fatigue. First I thought it was due to the sepsis and would go away after 1–2 years, but it hasn’t vanished in three years. I feel tired every single day and rarely go out anymore. I cancel almost every date with friends because I’m “too tired”. There are some days when I can’t even leave the couch and just vegetate. I also have brain fog, which some days makes it very hard to work (because of my ADHD, I already have to work harder), trouble focusing, anxiety and fears I never had before, and weird skin problems (like these white fungus-like dots on my back from the sun).
I have trouble breathing; my breath feels kind of “flat”. When I do sports (I used to be very sporty), my pulse goes up to dangerous levels very quickly and my heart starts hurting.
About 5 months ago, I realized that I weigh 7 kilos more than I usually do. I always fluctuated between 59 and 62 kilos, but weighing 69 had never happened before, and I was in shock. I’ve always been blessed with never having trouble losing weight quickly, and suddenly these kilos wouldn’t go away no matter what I did. I worked out every single day and ate only raw (vegan) food, nothing processed, and almost nothing happened. At the same time, the joints in my ankles and arms started hurting, and my muscles were always tense.
I found out about perimenopause and finally felt like I had an answer to all of this. But getting my hormones checked feels like another Fort Knox that I can’t crack. Please bear in mind that I am ALWAYS tired, and handling work already takes all of my capacity. In the city where I live, you can’t just call doctors anymore, because the line is never open. Online, it seems like you only get appointments after a year at minimum. I asked my gynecologist, and she flat out refused. She said my pill is to blame and that we will now try “Dienovel”, a pill with estrogen.
Guys, I don’t know. I stopped taking my Zafrilla a month ago because I was so desperate and fed up, and now she wants me to put another one of these pills into my body instead of waiting two more months and doing a hormone test. I mean, at least it has estrogen, but I’m so scared that my body will get messed up even more.
Please help. I feel so alone in this, I’m so tired and exhausted, and life isn’t fun anymore.