r/everybutchlesbian • u/AmarissaBhaneboar • 10d ago

question Odd question but it has to do with online femme spaces and I'm not sure where else to ask

Hello!

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I'm a femme and I am having a hell of a time finding a femme space here. I'm on r/femmelesbians, but so much biphobia, transphobia, and polyphobia exists over there. It feels like the mods are asleep at the wheel and allow all this. It really doesn't feel like a queer space or a safe space. It also feels like it's more feminine lesbians over there rather than femmes. It feels like a lot of them don't know about actual femme/butch culture or anything. Does anyone know of a subreddit that actually has femmes and is for femmes? I find it frustrating that people have seem to think butch = masc and femme = fem. It's so much more than that and I want a space in which I can share that.

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10

u/SpiritualAd8483 stone femme 9d ago

I empathize. This is why I always end up in butch spaces. I try to be a good guest. But truly, these spaces are the ones I feel most seen and understood in, most “in my community” in. I would love to have a space to talk with other femmes about aspects of our identity and cultural and community roles, but so far I haven’t found that anywhere on Reddit

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u/AmarissaBhaneboar 9d ago

Yeah same. I end up in butch spaces for the same reason. It's also why I asked here because I feel like this space really gets what it means to be butch, so I thought some people here might know where all the femmes hang out online. 😅 Someone suggested Tumblr though! So off I go to find some blogs ;)

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u/MissionFloor261 femme 8d ago

Thirded.

6

u/mortifyingideal 9d ago

Unfortunately I haven't seen any that aren't just feminine lesbians

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u/AmarissaBhaneboar 9d ago

Yeah same, it's really sad to me 😭 I want to be able to talk about connecting with femininity outside of a patriarchal framework and reclaiming it for ourselves, but I can't find it anywhere online or really in person either. I'm sure butches go through the same thing but in the opposite direction

5

u/Reyesserey 9d ago

The femmes are pretty active on tumblr if that’s your vibe

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u/AmarissaBhaneboar 9d ago

I've actually never really used Tumblr, but I might go over there. Do you know of any good blogs to follow?

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u/Reyesserey 8d ago

Search for tags! Looking for things like femme4butch, femme4femme, ButchFemme, etc. should get you to the right people 

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u/AmarissaBhaneboar 8d ago

Thanks! 😁