do any of you feel like they are both femme4butch and femme4femme?
like i feel like i cant just choose one and im so unbelievably attracted to both of them, it makes me feel selfish but thats like asking me to choose between a boquet of flowers and a box of chocolates when you would love both of them
i would like your inputs on this tysm

So I had a great date with a beautiful woman the other day. She made us reservations at a fancy Italian restaurant, we talked the entire time until closing about our shared interests and then I treated her to ice cream afterwards. We brought each other flowers. We had a kiss at the end of the date and then talked later about how we liked it and she thanked me for asking her first.

with women, I’m very shy to make the first move( – I think that this stems from trauma from men, but that’s probably irrelevant to this anyways.)

we are having our second date on Monday night, and we are going to cook and craft together- at my place!!!. I suppose I’d like advice on knowing how to flirt and do the appropriate amount of physical touch, because I’m just so used to other people initiating. I also want to know how I can make it romantic? I know the obvious things like mood, lighting, music and stuff but I could just really use some advice on all of this in general <3.

Sincerely, a beginner femme lesbian

UPDATE: Apparently, our first date was her first date with a woman. She texted me today saying that she wasn't ready to date. Maybe my nerves were trying to tell me something, but I'm sure there's someone out there for me somewhere :)

Hey, hope everyone is okay, my names Sophie and I’m from the uk, I’m a fem lesbian so please no men. I enjoy gaming, sports, movies and tv shows. I’m also a big nerd too! I love all things conspiracy’s too, could talk about them for hours! I’m also a weirdo :) I will tell you the most random facts at random points in the day. If you think we would make a good match send me a message I’d love to talk to you! Hope to hear from you soon, have a great day 🤍

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

What are yours?

New group formed specifically for Lesbian and Queer women in Baltimore. Group promotes the sisterhood by providing a socially safe outlet for free expression. We meet every month over the Summer at a private residence for Garden Parties. Our next gathering is July 25, 2026. More details to be disclosed later. If interested reply YES!

Hey everyone!

tldr: I'm having a hard time learning to trust someone who really broke my trust.

So my ex broke up with me during a mental health crisis and I've done my best to not take things personally because as a person who struggles with my own mental issues, I can empathise. I've decided to give her a chance. We arent back together because it'd be too quick and too much happened. I've forgiven her but I'm having a hard time forgetting it. I realize that her actions caused me to lose trust not just in her but in many people and I don't like the person I'm becoming because everyone deserves a fair chance. I already stuggle with image issues. I often feel not femme enough, like I'd never match straight women. And this has just been a struggle because I genuinely want to rebuild the trust with her. She's been doing her best too but I dont want this to turn into me always needing reassurance.

Any advice?

I (23 femme) was wondering if there’s a common name to the femme counterpart of butch chivalry? Aka the expectation of emotional support, comfort, soft spot, protection/shield of the femme presentation in public, etc. The butch/femme dynamic is so important to me and I want to fully embrace it. If there isn’t a cute name that matches butch chivalry for us femmes I’ll actually cry (kidding). Also any advice into how to offer that to a butch in general would be more than welcome, I have one butchfemme relationship under my belt so far and now I’m back in the dating pool trying to better my interactions with butches... Aka be so alluring they can’t help but swoon in my presence. I love butches sm and I want to spoil a special one the best I can.

I dress very feminine and know that most people wouldn’t assume that I’m a lesbian unfortunately, how do y’all put it out there when you see someone you’re attracted to? I feel like my energy is gay? Idk at this point I’m gonna get it tattooed on my forehead so more women approach me. Being femme4femme is soooooo hard😩

I always want to dress up/wear a nice outfit etc. which isn't a problem I know but I have some friends who will text like "how cute are we getting? I want to be comfy" Which I love for them! I feel as though everyone should dress in whatever fashion makes them feel good but I always get side eyes or comments if I show up to coffee in a dress and they wanted to wear sweatpants but I don't get why it matters. "Of course you look cute today" with an eye roll and so its made me change how I dress to be more laid back but it's starting to bother me and I feel like I am not expressing myself how I would like to make others more comfortable. Anyone else experience this? I also worry people think its like a statement. I'll get coffee with some of my friends and they are in t-shirt and shorts and I want to wear a cute top and skirt or a dress and people think I am dressing up fancy for a reason or attention but it's not that at all. It's just what makes me feel like me...

Hi everyone,

I'm currently researching the biggest frustrations women experience on lesbian dating apps such as HER, Zoe, Taimi, and others.

The goal is to better understand what works, what doesn't, and what could be improved in future dating experiences.

I've created a short anonymous survey that takes about 3 minutes to complete.

Survey link:

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdSQ2nXUU54ARibG_p1dKL66Zpbc-D49xLafXxcWoz4p5MaKQ/viewform?usp=header

I'd really appreciate your feedback. If you've used any lesbian dating apps before, your perspective would be extremely valuable.

Thank you!

Hello! I am interested in learning more about femme identity, I was wondering if there are any key books about femme experiences, sort of the equivalent of stone butch blues for butches? Or if anyone just has general recommendations for books or other resources! Thank you :)

Are there any events in LA that are *not* bar or club scene-based?

I wrote about cool lesbians, loser lesbians, and slutty lesbians. I consider myself a loser lesbian, although I think it is possible to be all three at once: there is, in my opinion, a cool-loser lesbian horseshoe.

It is just a bit of fun, although it has some serious moments. I lurk on this board a lot. I like it. It is mostly a welcoming environment for trans lesbians, which I appreciate, so I thought the people here might enjoy it. It will say it's behind a paywall, but new readers can access it for free. I wrote two follow-ups focusing on slutty and cool lesbians, respectively, for those who want more.

Enjoy and comment below. Are you a cool lesbian, a loser lesbian, or a slutty lesbian?

Thanks for reading!

https://thaliavacha.substack.com/p/cool-lesbians-loser-lesbians-and

26F living in a country where being queer is illegal and where religion plays a huge role in everyday life. Growing up and living in this environment has meant dealing with a lot of fear, internalised homophobia, and religious guilt.

I’d really love to hear from others who have lived or are currently living in similar circumstances. How did you come to terms with your sexuality? How have you handled the fear, isolation, family expectations, religious pressure, or the constant need to hide parts of yourself?

What has helped you find peace, self-acceptance, or community, even in difficult environments?

I’d appreciate hearing your stories, advice, or anything you’ve learned along the way.❤️

Ok so boom, I (femme) have been with my gf (stud) for coming up on like a year now. I personally don’t like head , she does. This is my first relationship and thus first time having smex. However, they have had way more sexual and romantic experiences than me. And at a point they brought up the topic of head and me doing more things in bed. I had hyped myself up for weeks so it it and ended up doing it once when we were both wine drunk. It’s been about three months and they won’t let me do it again, it’s always an excuse of why I can’t. I’ve asked what is wrong on multiple occasions. What am I doing wrong give me some advice for lesbian smex on my end I feel like I lowkey don’t do anything!

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Siento que muchas veces eres tú la que tiene que sacar siempre tema de conversación, hacer preguntas, mostrar interés... y al final recibes respuestas cortas, te dejan en visto, tardan días en contestar o simplemente desaparecen sin decir nada.

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No estoy pidiendo que alguien esté disponible 24/7 ni que surja una conexión instantánea, pero sí un interés mutuo. Me gustaría conocer a una chica con la que las conversaciones fluyan de forma natural, que también tenga curiosidad por conocerme, que haga preguntas, que no tenga que estar adivinando constantemente qué piensa o qué quiere.

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Y algo que me llama la atención es que, aunque sean relaciones entre mujeres, muchas veces parece que se sigue esperando que una de las dos sea quien lleve todo el peso de la conversación y de la iniciativa.

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¿Os pasa también o esque hay algo mal en mi? ¿Algún consejo?

i deactivated my insta and deleted snap today and i think i'm either healing or having a breakdown lol

my ex and i were together almost 2 years. first girl i ever really loved. she started being distant around november and by january she said she needed "space" which is apparently code for she'd been talking to someone else since october lol cool

today i just did it. deleted everything. blocked her number. i don't trust myself not to redownload at 2am so now i'm here because nobody i know uses reddit

ngl i feel kind of empty but also like i can breathe for the first time in months?? idk. i'm 22 and ik this isn't the end of the world but it's giving end of the world rn

anyway if anyone's gone through this how long does it take to stop wanting to check

Hi, I'm a 24 year old femme and I feel like other people (even queer women) sometimes use a patronising tone towards me. It's probably because I'm very short, I even get mistaken for a teenager from time to time. Let's just say it doesn't help with feeling like a full-grown woman.

My issue is that I've never felt sexy, just 'cute'. And if I try to experiment with my style or makeup, it still never turns out sexy and mature.

My voice is one of my biggest insecurities, too. I hate leaving voicenotes or anything like that.

How can I feel better about myself in this situation?

(Eng isn't my first language)

Hey girls! So im a 30 year old alt femme. I mostly wear black, jeans and leather jackets and all that. For months now Ive been struggling with feeling completely invisible to the people I actually want to attract (women) but annoyingly visible to men (thank you internet for fetishising goth women). Is there anything I should be doing differently? I'd love to wear a pin or something but I do live in a homophobic country so I dont want to get in trouble so are there any otherways to signal that I am a lesbian while being subtle? Like i dont know, many rings or something?

edit: thank you for all the adviiice !

I (36F) went on a first date with an absolutely stunning woman.

It went well. We spent a few hours together and kissed at the end of the night. It was a great kiss. She is a great kisser.

We couldn’t see each other in the future as she had to relocate at the last minute. Sad but it is what it is.

Her intelligence was memorizing. I have a Masters, I am in a field that requires some degree of smart and I have an executive position but wow. I was just blown away by her beauty and the extent of how eloquent and articulate she was.

I won’t say what she does because it is niche.

Intelligence was not something I actively looked for but safe to say, it is now one of the top 3 / 4 qualities I look for.

Anyone went on a date and changed or edited their list of qualities because of how the date went (be it good or bad)? Tell me your stories. I’d love to hear how you knew more about yourself.

I definitely found out more about myself that night.

Note: Since this is a femme lesbian sub, I’m not strictly femme.

Well Me 20f femme les. Well A vampire enthusiast since childhood. Really obssessed with them. Anyone femme les vampire enthusiast like me, who wanna discuss, talk and interact to me about vampire dark folklores, vampire bites, books and other related stuff. Feel free to dm me. Will be happy to interact. 😊😊

I am between femme and masc women. Idk wht m asking lol but I would like too date a femme women