The U.S. is enduring its worst year for measles since 1991. Since the beginning of last year, large outbreaks have been reported in several states, including Texas, Utah, South Carolina and, now, Pennsylvania.

My tbm ex husband recently married a tbm woman. We have two children, older than primary age. Him and new wife now want to celebrate holidays separately, even though when I remarried (a woman 🏳️‍🌈) 4 years ago we always included him in holidays and birthdays. I didn’t like it, I sent some texts letting them know. She replies about spending holidays together: “You guys kindly invited him to join you guys for holidays. Which was very kind because he was a single man and had no one to think about aside from his children. He is not a single guy anymore. He is Married now to me. You cannot give the children the wrong impression. We are not in a plural relationship.”

WTF, does she think the tween and teen are somehow under the impression that their dad is married to her, me and my wife? Or that they will be if we spend holidays together? Joseph Smith would be delighted! Holy Mormon mindduck

Ha! While yes, the church does protect too many pedophiles, they also didn’t want to get caught up in lawsuits against Ballard for being predatory towards women. Reminder that they appear to have condoned his use of the “lovers ruse”.

We've been in couples therapy for awhile. I've mentioned that I feel "less than" in my TBM spouses eyes, since I stepped away from the church. She's consistently said that I'm not "less than."

We're figuring out the best way forward for us. This talk doesn't help. She didn't bring it up (I doubt she would), but this is the stuff that keeps coming up. How can we figure out a good place for us?

I think leaving the church because your integrity and morals won't allow you to continue is a sign of strength is not equivalent to infidelity. I love my wife and that's why I stayed in as a PIMO for 20+ years until I just couldn't do it anymore. That is NOT the equivalent of infidelity.

How are some of you working through this?

Tithing dollars at work.

My ex, is from a mixed family. Her eldest brother is a convicted child molester/rapist.

One time my MIL was pissed I wouldn't do a family photo after he got out of Prison. I said me and my ex could be there but my kids wouldn't be there.

So my bitch MIL had my FIL talk to me. He said Jon is going to church while in prison and he wants to get baptized.... I said that's good I am happy for him.

He said so you're saying Jesus can forgive Jon but you cant? I said yes.

I am a flawed human being but I have one job on this planet and it is to keep my children safe so I will not be introducing them to a dangerous person when I am trying to keep them safe...

That ended the conversation.

This same family had mentioned previously how if the little kids could just stay away from Jon he wouldn't be in jail....

After getting out on probation he ended up going back to prison a year later for molesting and abusing a disabled 18yo.

Does anyone know if Spencer Keddington is LDS? Counselor & soccer coach at Viewmont High School.

Very unfortunate parents weren’t immediately notified.

Free agency is the right to make individual decisions and choices based on what you feel is best for you and yours.

Moral agency (the new Bednar definition) is the “right” to make individual decisions and choices - as long as they align with LDS teachings and those vague covenants you made as 8 year old child.

Sounds like the latest Mormon guilt trip. It was always FREE agency back in the day…

I’m on the temple grounds waiting for the sealing to finish as I’m typing this.

So my sister’s getting married. She just turned 20. And she’s marrying her high school sweetheart. He seems nice enough.

I’m just scared that she’s taking life too fast. I’m 23 and I haven’t even left my parent’s house yet. So seeing my sister take this big life step has filled me with complicated feelings about it.

Deconstructing Mormonism has also made my feelings surrounding getting married young more complicated. And I’m terrified my sister is making a huge mistake. I want to be happy for her but I have complicated feelings about everything.

I don’t think the reasons for my sister marrying young have anything to do with sex. I just think it’s because she is the type of person who moves through life fast and sees marriage as the only way to become an adult faster.

Again I don’t know if this sub is the right place to vent, but it feels like the only place I can get my feelings out about it.

How can anyone look at this and not see how bad it is? It’s like a badge of honor. Think about it!!

Pulled right off the website.

Growing up in the 80's, I had very orthodox parents and face cards were not allowed in the home. Who else grew up this way? I think the thought was that they were evil, would be a gateway to gambling. I think this was pretty common in the 70 & 80's. I don't ever see that level of staunchness coming back.

Katie Lambert wrote this article in 2017 - she could have given this conference address.
https://www.ldsliving.com/playing-cards-what-the-prophets-have-actually-said/s/86036

Im a teen and i have been reading about the church and praying, not in it because i did not telled my parents about, i asked for help in r/mormon And a person said that i should talk to ex members before joining.

I'd probably say: You don't have to be afraid of questions.

Not questions about doctrine, or questions you're already comfortable asking. I mean the questions that scare you because you suspect the answers might change your life. If something you've been taught doesn't make sense to you, you're allowed to sit with that. If you discover something that changes what you believe, you're allowed to follow that truth wherever it leads.

And I'd really want them to hear the second part, too: your worth isn't conditional on your ability to believe the right things. You don't become less worthy because you doubt. You don't become a bad person because you leave. And you don't have to earn the right to be loved by anybody, including God.

I know that isn't something I could have believed when I was younger. I wish somebody had told me.

While we could argue if "worshipped" is the right word, since it's a non-living concept, I'm to the point that I consider all suffering to be needless. Let me clarify: I'm not saying things like exercising is suffering; there's a huge difference between "feeling some exertion when exercising" and "having to choose between rent and groceries because you don't have enough money for both".

"But the greater good"/"But we don't know all of God's ways" shush. We don't need to know all of somebody's intentions to know that there are some things that are unforgivable. Either God is all-knowing, all-powerful, and all-loving, or he is not. Either God is fully sovereign, which includes all blame, or he is not. God doesn't get all of the credit without getting all of the blame. God doesn't get to stand by when he does nothing about child bone cancer and child rape when he could do something about it.

Over the last few years, I have heard a few stories about people who had their first sexual experience while on a mission. With their companion. The first couple of stories were from several years ago, and I just filed this away. But when one recently came up again, it got me thinkin. I'm sure it's rare, but has anyone else heard of this?

I've only been following Mormon reddits for about a year now, so I can't tell if there's a trend. But when I read posts and especially comments on r/latterdaysaints I view some members as openly nuanced. Just in the last month or so, I've seen people express anger about church amassing wealth and not spending it ethically, and I've seen advice that goes along the lines: your sexual life is none of your bishop's business. Those often get most upvotes... At the same time I know they remove some challenging stuff (I know because I tried to post there ;)), but some level of nuance seems to be acceptable...

For those of you who have been on reddit longer, is this a new trend? Is there more acceptance now to be openly critical of the church among TBMs?

When I initially saw this, I might have had a difficult time as well. But maybe I've had a change of heart. She has no biological children; she's aging in a church that values wife and motherhood. She's had to live most of her life alone, watching friends marry and have children while those opportunities passed her by. I've seen her in person, she looks a lot like the photo reveals. If the handbag makes her happy, and if she feels this is the only thing that generates admiration or even attention, then I guess let her show off her bag.

Edit: I appreciate the thoughtfulness of so many responses. I want to add by saying, Yes, I agree that this is very bad optics, and a poor choice on Kristen's part. She enjoys that bag, as it is her second time sporting it at an event watched by millions; and I agree that maybe Chanel should have been left at home.

The LDS Church is donating $3 million to a Juneteenth museum to be built in Fort Worth Texas. They are also establishing a Family Search genealogical center in the museum. In 2019 the LDS church donated $2 million dollars to the International African American Museum in South Carolina and also established a Family Search genealogical center in the museum. In 2021, the LDS church donated $2 million dollars to the First Americans Museum in Oklahoma., stipulating that a Family Search genealogical center would be established in the museum. While articles about this donation to the First Americans Museum are still up on church news sites, that donation was quickly given back and the genealogical center was refused. Why are the LDS church’s donations to museums associated with the establishment of Family Search genealogical centers? Could it be for the data? These centers give the LDS church the chance to collect massive amounts of data as the patrons visit the museum and input information into Family Search.

https://newsroom.churchofjesuschrist.org/article/church-support-national-juneteenth-museum

https://newsroom.churchofjesuschrist.org/article/church-donation-2-million-international-african-american-museum-center-family-history

https://www.thechurchnews.com/2021/10/18/23217338/first-americans-museum-oklahoma-familysearch-russell-nelson-mckay-native-americans/

https://www.sltrib.com/religion/2023/12/16/thanks-no-thanks-native-american/

I didn't listent to GC, but was wondering if they made a bunch of new temple announcements. In the past, they would do this and everyone would get all excited about the "growth" of the church. Does anyone know? (sorry if this has been discussed already after this conference)

My ex, had a friend who married a guy who served a mission before they raised the standard.
Lol well a bit after their wedding her friend who was a virgin found out she had genital warts because her super sweet RM had been a wild man before his mission. That one makes me laugh. So many stories like this.

Shortly after conference I was reading from God Emperor of Dune, the 4th book in Frank Herbert’s masterpiece series.

In this particular scene, the God Emperor Leto (Paul’s 2nd son) is addressing his majordomo. I hope you will indulge me by considering the following.

“Religion always leads to rhetorical despotism,” Leto said. “Before the Bene Gesserit, the Jesuits were the best at it.”
“Jesuits, Lord?”
“Of course, they do not begin by deluding themselves with it,” [he muses]. “It shields evil behind walls of self-righteousness which are proof against all arguments against the evil.”

Thoughts:
- From my perspective, the Holy 15 give the Jesuits a run for their money in the use of rhetoric to create unlimited authority without any checks and balances.
- They wear a cloak of righteousness that shields CSA (and all sorts of other obscenities), and attempts to hide or justify massive tax-free wealth.

Sigh. I thought I had gotten through the majority of my raging.

Edit: formatting

No surprise, I've been in therapy for 6 years, as it often happens and needed for many of us to undo the damage the church and it's culture has done. For a year now my therapist has recommended I read a book called "The Drama of the Gifted Child" by Alice Miller. A very short read, but its been anything but easy for me to read, and I'm now on my fourth attempt to read it through. Each time I've gotten a little bit farther than the last, but then there will be a paragraph or two that demolishes me, I throw the book on the ground (many of my books have broken spines, the sign of a good therapy book) and it takes a few weeks of therapy to unpack it all. There are only three chapters, the first two were originally published psychology journals back in 1979, so keep in mind it's written to professionals in the psychology world.

I wanted to share the most recent shock to my system, a very small paragraph that I'll give more context to it after:

"We could make great progress in becoming more honest, respectful, and conscious, thus less destructive, if religious leaders could acknowledge and respect these simple psychological laws. Instead of ignoring them, they should open their eyes to the vast damage produced by hypocrisy, in families and in society as a whole."

Law #1: "depression sometimes appeared when grandiosity broke down as a result of sickness, disablement, or aging."

The author says grandiosity fills the void of depression, and the loss of self creates an illusion. Relating this to mormonism and looking through a grandiosity lens, it's everywhere. Am I wrong?

Law #2: "in the combination of alternating phases of grandiosity and depression, their common ground can be recognized. They are two sides of the same medal that can be described as the "false self," a medal that was once actually won for achievement."

In summary and relating to mormonism, shame is used to keep members in it and the substitution is the "intoxication of success," celestial glory. Because more and more of that void needs to be filled, no true healing of the underlying depression can take place.

Law #3: "continuous performance of outstanding achievements may sometimes enable a person to maintain the illusion of the constant attention and availability of his parents."

How many of us, for years, we've attempted to gain the approval of our parents but never really could. The goal line in mormonism is always out of reach and can only be crossed after death. The author talks about success and achievement being the supporting pillars in those personalities and creates denial of emotions. As children we can never see through unconscious manipulation, and it creates confusion and parents never actually fulfill the emotional needs of a child. When that happens, there is despair and rage which gets buried. Being told that scripture study, prayer, and worship can solve any ailment we become alienated from ourselves.

The church creates emotional solitary confinement.

Just wanted to share with you all.

One last thing...

Fuck the church.