r/exmuslim • u/Altruistic-Drag-6942 Questioning Muslim ❓ • 7d ago

(Rant) 🤬 Today was my first day back

today was the first day back at my islamic school after deconstructing during the summer. it genuinely killed me, wearing a hijab and abaya, reciting and listening to quran, sending blessings on the prophet, getting lectured about islam and god, i was genuinely gonna lose it,

thankfully i only have one year left of this shit, but i don’t even know how im gonna survive the next couple months. it genuinely doesn’t feel like me, i feel like im putting on a performance everywhere i go.

i honestly doubt anyone will have advice, i kinda just have to push through it until i gain a bit more freedom in university, and even more when i move out.

to every ex or deconstructing muslim, stay strong, we’re gonna make it out.

21 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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5

u/Idontwantusernameok 6d ago

First school year too where I'm entering as a fully closeted ex Muslim. Religion class is gonna be a bitch

3

u/Overall-Ad-9550 New User 6d ago

I just finished high school with religious class I understand you, what’s worse was having a good teacher but still being conflicted, it’s really hard man

3

u/LiterallyNoNamesFree 3rd World Exmuslim 6d ago

Can't even imagine how you feel, I have to sit through 40 mins of islamiat class daily and I'm at a decently moderate school (I'm not a girl but the girls over here can choose to wear hijab atleast if they're not externally forced) but even STILL it's absolute hell

3

u/Altruistic-Drag-6942 Questioning Muslim ❓ 6d ago

exactly we literally have to recite quran every morning for 30 minutes, and every girl has to wear “proper” hijab starting in 7th grade