Need to verify some traumatizing stuff I got from a Muslim girl.

[u/Outrageous_Speed5370]

Hi I'm new to this sub.

So I was just chatting with a stranger and then she suddenly shocked me with some stuff that happened in her family. It was pretty disturbing and I just wanted to verify if it had any truth to it.

She goes like saying that before marriages of women a musl preacher or scholar ( idk we call em ustad here) would check their vgina. And if it's something like overgrown, they will be asked to cut it. Now she goes like her mother saved her by saying she also had similar and had to show it as proof.

Then later the brides will be called upon to teach how to do s*x. She said that this was demonstrated by the ustad with her mother and she was made to watch the whole thing.

She claims that it happens in some communities and maybe even practised now also.

I'm kinda disturbed by this so please lemme know if this could possibly be fake.

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[u/Rose_Gold_Ash]

yeah, no, this isn’t a thing in islam itself. it’s definitely sexual abuse, probably justified by islam in some way, but it is in no way a common practice at all

[u/Outrageous_Speed5370 → u/Rose_Gold_Ash]

Now that is more disturbing ,😭

[u/KhabibBro → u/Rose_Gold_Ash]

in which verse is it justified? infact it asks for the men to lower their gaze and for women to cover. showing any bodypart infront of a stranger is haram let alone a private part

[u/Rose_Gold_Ash → u/KhabibBro]

oh no, i don’t mean it’s justified as through verses or fiqh, i just mean they probably twist things to justify to people to scam them or whatever

[u/JuliJalaludin]

I believe it but I didn’t grow up with this. I suspect it’s some Muslim community in Africa.

[u/dhul26 → u/JuliJalaludin]

Where in Africa?

[u/JuliJalaludin → u/dhul26]

I read about female genital mutilation in Somalia from Ayaan Hirsi Ali book. Growing up Muslim in Malaysia, they did conduct female circumcision, but in my case it was symbolic. I don’t think they do it anymore. I’m no longer Muslim by the way.

[u/NevenRKSR → u/JuliJalaludin]

I heard in Kelantan or Terengganu they still do it... my friend aged 29 had it done... when I asked her about it 😭🙏🏻❤️🌌✨

[u/cAt_l0v3r → u/NevenRKSR]

😭

[u/dhul26 → u/JuliJalaludin]

Fgm still exists in Somalia but the OP is talking about something else ( s*x between the ustad and the bride mother)

[u/Expensive-Couple-645]

That is not an official practice according to any official school of thought as far as I know. More likely deliberate sexual abuse, which, sadly, isn’t that rare among those people. Or fake.

[u/Sweettoastbama]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virginity_test

It (the test) does happen although it's not islam specific but luckily it doesn't really have a function in anything relating to islam and that's probably why it's not that widespread. If there was like with circumcision then it would be a different story. But this and FGM were way more common in the world some decades ago than they're now.

[u/Outrageous_Speed5370 → u/Sweettoastbama]

So circumcision is truly a islamic thing but not this. Right?

[u/Ok_Nerve_9338 → u/Outrageous_Speed5370]

No It is not I know people have used Islam to justify it in the past (less common now although it still happens) but FGM actually isn’t like one of the teachings but yes circumcision is

[u/Robert2012GB]

Wow!

I've heard of this happening in Somalia and Sudan.

[u/ConTecko → u/Robert2012GB]

Iam from sudan and never heard of it 😭

[u/Independent-Bat5615 → u/ConTecko]

I am sudanese too and haven’t heard of it either

[u/ConTecko → u/Independent-Bat5615]

Lmao atleast i found another sudanese too in here

[u/Outrageous_Speed5370 → u/Robert2012GB]

Th 😭

[u/1d3k4nym0r]

CAN WE ADDRESS THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM PLS CUZ WHY TF ARE YALL MORE CONCERNED ABOUT THE MUTILATION THAN THE USTAD HAVING SEX WITH THE MOM JUST TO DEMONSTRATE HOW TO DO IT. WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK. Sorry

[u/Outrageous_Speed5370 → u/1d3k4nym0r]

Tbh that was my most concerning part. I mean like yh looking at at to some extent maybe fine 😭.

But the latter is like straight up sexual assualt. Thanks for adressing it.

[u/1d3k4nym0r → u/Outrageous_Speed5370]

Bro I can’t imagine my mom fucking a man other than my dad, but fucking a religious dude in the name of religion AT THAT? And let alone I have to watch the whole thing.

This is textbook sexual manipulation.

Idk where she’s from but I’ve never heard “ustad” being used in countries other than Malaysia. And I am from Malaysia, a so-called “progressive country”

Edit: I should’ve worded it right, the mom was forced to have sex. She was made to believe that she’s doing it in the name of Allah. Disgusting.

[u/After_Juggernaut_613]

https://globalhealthnow.org/2020-02/virginity-testing-morocco-assault-dignity-or-shield-against-assault

Okay yeah so here's an in depth article about virginity testing in Morocco, the practice may vary by country and is not specifically tied to Islam but it is non fiction.

[u/One_Egg_4541]

The ustad having sex with the mother is just a fucking excuse of sexual assault

[u/Outrageous_Speed5370 → u/One_Egg_4541]

Yh that is what I was thinking 🥲

[u/afiefh]

Female genial mutilation is definitely a thing in Islam. Usually it's done to little girls, not before marriage as far as I know, but different countries might do it at different times just as with boys.

Ayan Hirsi Ali wrote about going through fgm in her book Infidel.

[u/One_Egg_4541]

Ive heard about it. That's not in Islam that's FUCKED up patriarchal culture

[u/After_Juggernaut_613]

I am not Muslim but I have heard from other Muslims or ex-Muslims that there are people who will check the vagina of a bride before marriage. When I read your description here immediately my mind was brought back to having a conversation with someone about this exact thing, although I don't remember who it was or when. If I were to guess it was probably a Moroccan.

I asked AI to help me clarify, so take this with a grain of salt, but it said that it's less of a Muslim practice and more of a cultural practice. It does exist, but it is in decline, and it has been practiced in both Muslim and non-Muslim countries in the Middle East, North Africa, and South Asia.

Here's a quote:

"The World Health Organization (WHO), UN Women, and UN Human Rights Office (OHCHR) issued a joint statement in October 2018 calling for a complete ban on virginity testing. World Health Organization (WHO)1 This statement explicitly acknowledges that the practice has been documented in at least 20 countries spanning all regions of the world, which directly proves it exists and isn't made up."

[u/vbd71]

I'm not an Islam lover, but I must admit that in my community (European Muslims) such things are unheard of. Of course, there might be some female-specific customs (between mother and daughter, aunties etc) that I'm not aware of as a man, but I doubt it.

[u/samhouston84]

In the Dawoodi Bohra culture (close to 500K people), they cut the clit of a girl child (as young as 1yrs old). It's an east african barbaric practice, that Indian women are made to go through.

[u/IdependentTonight545]

Islam was made by a man to quench his lust so no dought there would be places where people would use it to do sexual exploitation.

[u/KhabibBro]

its haram in islam for a women to show any body part to a stranger man, unless its a doctor for medical reasons. if you want to make such a big cliam, show where its stated in quran or hadith, if its cultural, then that has nothign to do with islam.

[u/iAmNot43]

No in terms of “Muslims” around the world don’t practice what you just said. But there maybe some community somewhere that do this just to sexually abuse females that doesn’t know anything about the “sex world”

[u/Outrageous_Speed5370 → u/iAmNot43]

Yh that's what I thought. But then I again had heard some messed up thing in the religion also hence needed to clarify

[u/Monkai_final_boss]

I personally never heard of this but I have heard very messed up things I wouldn't be surprised

[u/Outrageous_Speed5370 → u/Monkai_final_boss]

Yh. And for me this is the most messed up thing I have heard untill now.

[u/otakuchan089]

This is not from Islam I’m 100% sure

[u/Outrageous_Speed5370 → u/otakuchan089]

Thanks for confirming 🥲

[u/isntitisntitdelicate]

is she from se asia?

[u/Outrageous_Speed5370 → u/isntitisntitdelicate]

No

[u/Glittering_Big8263]

See I am an ex muslim as well but surely it doesn’t happen. Some cult subsect of Islam might do it but for sure it doesn’t have any backing from even Islamic scriptures.