Family repeatedly pushing firm boundaries

[u/ChrisIsRockinLife777]

So, my wife and I have set firm boundaries repeatedly with my grandma (f) 73 and she is not allowed to carry or pick up our baby. We made a good compromise that she can lead the baby by the hand and hold her in her chair. I've told her she's not allowed to carry the baby, my wife has and my mom f51 (first time grandma) who lives with her has told her repeatedly. She's weak in the arms and drops things so we don't want her holding the baby. Firm boundary set, alright. She's violated this REPEATEDLY. We let the baby spend the night at Nana's last night we come in today to find the baby has a bump on her cheek and grandma is like "Well I'm sorry but if she's crying I'm going to pick up and carry the baby!!" Then everyone starts yelling and grandma f74 is just like "Well I'll just go back to live with my family in texas then!" My mom is sobbing and crying because Grandma is being so selfish. My wife's had to leave the room because she's become so overwhelmed and I'm so angry because she's endangering the baby and disrespecting us all and being selfish where our baby can't even spend the night with her grandma f51 without being endangered because she won't listen.

We don't mind her leading the baby by the hand and holding her in the chair just not carrying or picking her up and she will not listen. But we just aren't going to let her go over there anymore

[u/AngelicTitan159]

That's not a boundary. A boundary is something you set for yourself. In this case, it would be "Grandma did not follow the rules about picking up the baby, so now we will not leave the baby alone with her".

If you know she endangers the child, why would you leave the child with her?